Tweet
I'm (thankfully) not working this semester and am instead taking classes full-time, but my mother's been complaining about her bookstore job to me, so I figured I'd post some of her stories again. She's been about 1-2 hours under full time for over a year now and feels like she's really not getting paid enough to put up with this sort of thing. 
She's impressively computer-illiterate and can't even get a browser window open on her own, so I'll pass any comments onto her.
M - mother
SC - sucky/stupid customer
Dialogue reconstructed as best as possible!
How Not to Do Returns
SC: "Can I return this?"
M: "Do you have the original receipt?"
SC: "No, my boyfriend bought it for me."
M: "Well, if he brings it into the store with the receipt and it was purchased within the last-"
SC: "Actually, I'm not sure if he bought it here."
M: "..."
Okay, so you lose points for not thinking ahead. Still, you did get yourself to a store, so you can't be that much of an idiot, can you? You just didn't think clearly.
SC: "Did he?"
M: "Did he what?"
SC: "Buy it here."
Yes, you are that much of an idiot. Never mind.
SC waves book at her - it's a very common paperback.
M: "...well, I don't know, ma'am. Is there still a price sticker on it? It would have the name of the store on it."
She reaches over to grab the book and SC pulls it out of her reach, puts it back into her purse, and glares.
SC: "It's still mine! You just want to take it back and not give me the credit!"
....well, good luck with getting help on that, then.
How Not to Do Returns 2
SC hands over a copy of The Odyssy.
SC: "Can I return this? I already got the parts I needed for class."
M flips through and realizes that SC has ripped out pages that relate to her school assignments.
M then spends nearly 10 minutes explaining the words 'damaged' and 'nonreturnable,' neither of which SC has ever encountered in the wild.
Not So Educational
SC comes up to the counter with a textbook and what looks like some Lit class type books. She's college-age, roughly. SC slams the books down on the counter. She's talking on her cell phone the whole time.
SC: "Prices!"
M: "The prices are on the price stickers, miss. Did you want me to ring you up?"
SC: "No, not those prices! - no, no, not you, the idiot working here - hold on..."
SC rolls her eyes and lets out this long-suffering sigh, and then addresses M in a condescending tone of voice as if she is speaking to a puppy that just made a mess on the carpet.
SC: "I need to know the prices for you to put these on audio books."
Oh, obviously. Because that's the only reason you would ever bring books to a sale counter in a bookstore.
M: "If they're not in the audiobook section, then we don't have them on audiobook."
SC: "But how am I supposed to study otherwise?!"
M: "Well, you could look online to see if someone else has them on audio book.... or just read the books."
SC: "I don't have time to read! You should be able to find an audiobook for me!"
M: "I'm sorry, but if we don't have it, then we don't have it. I can't give you something that we don't have."
SC: "This is ridiculous. You should be required to have everything on audio book if you sell it!"
Bonus points: her textbook was for an English Lit/composition class. Why are you taking a class about books if you don't want to read?
It's a Miracle?
Someone tried to steal one of Bookstore's large chairs. Yes, singlehandedly. When he tried to saunter out the front door with it, the inevitable confrontation took place. Apparently the chair 'spoke' to him and told him that it was 'lonely,' and he just wanted to give it a more loving home. They figured he was harmless, made him give the chair back, and then asked him to leave. Later the same week, my mother found him talking to the sofa. She's actually hoping that he tries to take it just because it's much too big to physically fit out through the doors and, as she put it, she could 'use the excitement.'
She's impressively computer-illiterate and can't even get a browser window open on her own, so I'll pass any comments onto her.
M - mother
SC - sucky/stupid customer
Dialogue reconstructed as best as possible!
How Not to Do Returns
SC: "Can I return this?"
M: "Do you have the original receipt?"
SC: "No, my boyfriend bought it for me."
M: "Well, if he brings it into the store with the receipt and it was purchased within the last-"
SC: "Actually, I'm not sure if he bought it here."
M: "..."
Okay, so you lose points for not thinking ahead. Still, you did get yourself to a store, so you can't be that much of an idiot, can you? You just didn't think clearly.
SC: "Did he?"
M: "Did he what?"
SC: "Buy it here."
Yes, you are that much of an idiot. Never mind.
SC waves book at her - it's a very common paperback.
M: "...well, I don't know, ma'am. Is there still a price sticker on it? It would have the name of the store on it."
She reaches over to grab the book and SC pulls it out of her reach, puts it back into her purse, and glares.
SC: "It's still mine! You just want to take it back and not give me the credit!"
....well, good luck with getting help on that, then.
How Not to Do Returns 2
SC hands over a copy of The Odyssy.
SC: "Can I return this? I already got the parts I needed for class."
M flips through and realizes that SC has ripped out pages that relate to her school assignments.
M then spends nearly 10 minutes explaining the words 'damaged' and 'nonreturnable,' neither of which SC has ever encountered in the wild.Not So Educational
SC comes up to the counter with a textbook and what looks like some Lit class type books. She's college-age, roughly. SC slams the books down on the counter. She's talking on her cell phone the whole time.
SC: "Prices!"
M: "The prices are on the price stickers, miss. Did you want me to ring you up?"
SC: "No, not those prices! - no, no, not you, the idiot working here - hold on..."
SC rolls her eyes and lets out this long-suffering sigh, and then addresses M in a condescending tone of voice as if she is speaking to a puppy that just made a mess on the carpet.
SC: "I need to know the prices for you to put these on audio books."
Oh, obviously. Because that's the only reason you would ever bring books to a sale counter in a bookstore.
M: "If they're not in the audiobook section, then we don't have them on audiobook."
SC: "But how am I supposed to study otherwise?!"
M: "Well, you could look online to see if someone else has them on audio book.... or just read the books."
SC: "I don't have time to read! You should be able to find an audiobook for me!"
M: "I'm sorry, but if we don't have it, then we don't have it. I can't give you something that we don't have."
SC: "This is ridiculous. You should be required to have everything on audio book if you sell it!"
Bonus points: her textbook was for an English Lit/composition class. Why are you taking a class about books if you don't want to read?
It's a Miracle?
Someone tried to steal one of Bookstore's large chairs. Yes, singlehandedly. When he tried to saunter out the front door with it, the inevitable confrontation took place. Apparently the chair 'spoke' to him and told him that it was 'lonely,' and he just wanted to give it a more loving home. They figured he was harmless, made him give the chair back, and then asked him to leave. Later the same week, my mother found him talking to the sofa. She's actually hoping that he tries to take it just because it's much too big to physically fit out through the doors and, as she put it, she could 'use the excitement.'
dumbasses that absolutely refuse to acknowledge the existence of personal hygiene. 
Comment