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  • I'm sorry I'm not as much of a ***** as you.

    Got a twofer for everyone from the same place, though not the same moron surprisingly.

    Out of line!

    This weekend I went to the nearby Awesome Orchard with Hubby, the In-laws, and my little minion of doom. Now this place does apple picking and pumpkin picking along with other fall seasonal things (corn maze, apple launcher, petting zoo, awesome giant play area for kiddies...) and of course it all costs money, specially on the weekends. Another thing this place is known for is donuts. Not just any donuts of course these are homemade apple donuts that are just so damn addictive it's insane.

    So after a few minutes of figuring out the crowd on this lovely day we decided a plan of attack. The men would take the minion into the giant playland of country goodness while us ladies when and waiting in the insane long line of death for the donutie goodness.

    The shop they have here is not very big and is full of all the classic country looking knick knacks all with pumpkin and apple themes and a mix of Halloween. Line it literally wrapping around the place and we know it's gonna be a good 30 minute wait likely. So we're chattering on about the minion I have in the oven and home repairs while we wait.

    In front of us is a man with a stroller and a kid of maybe 1-2 years of age. Kiddo is cranky and wants to be out of the stroller, he also does not want daddy to hold him. So in an effort to get the kid to stop shrieking Daddy sets him on his feet.

    ZOOM! The kid is off! Heading right for the table full of shiny breakables to destroy. Dad of course is force to run after him and leaves the stroller there in line.

    Ma-in-law and I am standing patiently waiting while this old bat trying to cling to 30 hems and haws behind us.

    OB (old bat): Would you two move up already!
    MIL: *blinking* I'm sorry the line hasn't moved yet. (True statement as the only things we'd be moving up into is the parked stroller Daddy had to abandon to go collar junior. The rest of the line had not moved yet.)
    OB: That man left the line. He has to go to the back now.

    Now me and MIL are staring at this woman like she is retarded. If the guy was leaving the line to say, grab other things to buy then sure we'd move up. He was getting control of his child though, to us this is not a valid reason to go punting him from the line. Granted this might be due to us completely understanding the poor man's plight of controlling a raging toddler while trying to get some baking goodness. So we pretty much ignored the impatient snot.

    When we finally got to the counter I was highly tempted to just tell the bakers to give me the rest of the donuts they had to make the old hag wait till they made fresh ones. All the better to make her sit and wait while we munched on tasty goodness in front of her.

    OMG! It's a tractor!

    Since this whole thing is on a farm one of the services the place offers is rides out to the pumpkin patch and further out parts of the orchard. This is pretty much just big wooden carts of people being pulled by tractors.

    Now I might not have been raised on a farm but even my brain knows better then to go darting out in front of a tractor. I rather equate them to cars and figured they will run me over and it will hurt if I do this.

    Apparently not so for this lady. I was rather hoping I'd have something to write to the Darwin Awards about when I saw this.

    I don't know what her deal was but as us folks who decided not to blow 5 bucks per person are just walking along the dirt path, we hear one of the tractors coming. Us with brain cells get to the side and continue walking. Apparently this lady thought this was the perfect time to whip out a camera and have her kids stand in the middle of the path.

    Let me restate this. SHE WANTED A PICTURE OF A TRACTOR BEARING DOWN AT HER KIDS!

    Now thankfully these things aren't going very fast (they can but for obvious safety reasons these guys were going slow) so the guy stops and politely asks the lady to move her family out of the way. After all it's not like he can just scoot to the side without having tree limbs remove the heads of riders in the cart he's hauling.

    The lady proceeds to start calling for pictures of her kids riding on the tractor and other such things. I'm seriously standing there wondering what the hell is wrong with her. I mean did she come out from the city here and just had never seen one in her life? I'm pretty sure one of the museums downtown has a tractor you can use for pictures with the kiddies. Let the man do his job!

    Our little party was leaving the patch with 6 pumpkins before that cart of people pulled up finally. To think they paid 5 bucks for another 'customer' to hold up their ride for a photo op. To make it all that much better, the 2nd tractor of people was stuck behind the first due to this woman refusing to let the 1st one by. Lots of grumbles all around there.
    "It's not what your doing so much as the idiotic way your doing it." Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy 7.

  • #2
    Is this place in northern Illinois? Beacuse I may be going there this weekend.

    People in long queues get more stupid and petty than normal. I know I haev a problem with long lines so I just do my best to avoid them. But if I HAVE to queue up, I keep my grumbling to myself because nobody else there is having any more fun than me.

    And thoughtless people never cease to amaze me. I think many of my fellow Americans have this idea that everything is 100% safe and sanitized and vetted and researched and overengineered and all that crap. Well of COURSE they can stand in front of a moving vehicle - it will stop! It has to! It's a state law at the very least, and probably in the Constitution somewhere.
    Hmm...more zombies than usual...

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Gruesome View Post
      And thoughtless people never cease to amaze me. I think many of my fellow Americans have this idea that everything is 100% safe and sanitized and vetted and researched and overengineered and all that crap. Well of COURSE they can stand in front of a moving vehicle - it will stop! It has to! It's a state law at the very least, and probably in the Constitution somewhere.
      Reminds me of the idiots who go to Strasburg...and have never seen a steam locomotive (or any train item!) before. Quite a few will attempt to cross the tracks in front of a slowly-moving train, and then wonder why the crew starts blowing the whistle at them. It can't stop on a dime, you morons! If you *really* want that photo of the kids and a locomotive...there are plenty of those (steam, diesel, electric) at the museum across the highway!
      Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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      • #4
        Quoth Gruesome View Post
        Well of COURSE they can stand in front of a moving vehicle - it will stop! It has to! It's a state law at the very least, and probably in the Constitution somewhere.
        When my mom and I were visiting my dad in NM, we all decided to take the Rail Runner down to Albuqerque for a day trip. We couldn't stray that far from downtown as we were constrained by the train and bus schedules, but it was fun.

        On the platform in Santa Fe (South Capitol), some woman wants a photo-op with her kid, so she gives the camera to the dad and goes to stand with the kid on the tracks as the train is bearing down. Yes the train is going pretty slowly, but still--! (do you not hear that horn? that means get off the freaking tracks!) They all got yelled at by a maintenance worker and again by a conductor when they finally boarded (dad was hoping we would get to see a Darwin Award in the making).

        In contrast, my mom got a photo of me on the ABQ platform as the train was pulling in. I wasn't anywhere near the "danger zone", but the angle resulted in a pretty cool photo.
        "I am quite confident that I do exist."
        "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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        • #5
          Sounds like the Pumpkin patch near Omaha. My kids loved it. now my grandkids do.

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          • #6
            Betcha Picture Lady would try the same thing with a combine bearing down on her kid.

            Betcha the resulting mess would be a bitch to clean up.
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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            • #7
              And then when something did happen, she would be screaming that "there should have been a horn or something!"

              Sorry; you fail to notice a multi-ton vehicle bearing down on you (gee, why is nobody on the funny brown lines that are a foot or so below everything else?), you fail period. Part of me waits for some dumbtourist to try that with an MBTA subway car.
              "I am quite confident that I do exist."
              "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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              • #8
                Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
                And then when something did happen, she would be screaming that "there should have been a horn or something!"
                Bonus points if she's one of the NIMBYs who complain about the loud air horns on trains...and then turn around and *bitch* when there's an accident
                Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                • #9
                  Quoth Teskeria View Post
                  Sounds like the Pumpkin patch near Omaha. My kids loved it. now my grandkids do.
                  Uhg. Me 'n Cap't Chemo when there last weekend. We don't have kids and they don't serve booze. I think that was the problem.
                  Well fiddle dee dee!!

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