No I will not buy your magazines!

[Anakah]

I had a guy who was selling tv guides.

SG: Sucky guy

SG rings my doorbell (I'm also in an apartment complex) at an ungodly early hour.

I open the door wearing pajamas and having morning hair.

SG: Hey, how would you like to buy a tv guide?

Me: No thanks, my tv has one on it.

Then he goes on and on about some more stuff I don't care about and finally I tell him NO and I get this from him:

SG: Well its not like it would take bread off the table!

Asshole. Good way to sell your product. I finally slammed the door at that point and went back to bed, angry.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yet another one of these meat buttcobbs...

Just yesterday:

Purveyor of Fine Roadkill: I work for (whatever the hell company it was ) and I have a shipment of meat we weren't able to deliver...

Me: No, thanks.

POFR: Do you and your husband enjoy a good steak?

Me: Look, man, no offense, but I think buying mystery meat out of the back of an unmarked truck is probably an extremely bad idea. Just sayin'.

POFR: Oh, it's not mystery meat, I can show you papers from blargle blargle blargle.....

Me: (just quietly closing door on him as he talked. )

You know, every time they come, I'm doing something where I don't need more aggravation piled on. Every time. Without fail. .

I should have told the fucker I was a member of PETA and a vegetarian.

[AlmightyALT]

XD I only have cats but they were out and pretty curious at the time. I should train them to be my attack kitties.

I had a warning kitty. When I got a new roommate at my place years ago, she didn't come back that first night till late (date) and when my Neko-chan heard the key in the lock, he got up and *growled*. I was immediately awake and reaching for my escrima stick.

He did it again at the apartment complex I'd moved to for uni after the other place. Turned out it was my neighbor, drunk and stumbling into the bushes outside my window. He was vomiting on the grass and stumbling for his door by the time I peeked past the blinds.

Our first family cat did it as well in NM. Dad was away and Mom and us kids were in bed with the cat on Mom's bed. Suddenly he gets up and *growls* and my mom wakes up from her half doze to hear foot steps in the landscape rocks outside her window, scuffling as the climbed the wall and then the back porch door opening and closing. She called 911, but whoever it was decided we weren't worth it because the door open and closed again. Seems whoever it was went over the back wall into the desert (our house backed up to it). Cat settled down, but when the police came to check it out, he did it again.

I hope my new kitty(ies) do the same.

Also... I like your fiancee. Swords!

Well, as long as we're talking about armouries...

A copper shortsword; a claymore; a replica katana; a Poleaxe; a Naginata; a long sword; a long/short blade duo that's clearly intended as ninja-to; a poignard, five or six daggers; two quarterstaves. I think that's most of it

I make blades as an apprentice blade smith. And these are not reproductions that break after a few hits with them.

[ADoyle90815]

I have 2 German shepherd/Welsh Corgi mixes who usually scare off most people such as JW's, Mormon missionaries, and salespeople. My armory consists of: a couple of daggers, a Celtic short sword, a mace, and some rattan swords, as I'm a heavies fighter in the SCA.

I once reported a magazine salesman to the Target security guard after this person tried to hit on me, which gave me the creeps. Since then, Target has been very good about keeping those people away from the store.