Tuned Out at AutoZone

[TennesseePieman]

This story was relayed to me by a co-worker of mine, so my apologies in advance if you ask me questions that I don't know the answer to. I'll tell it to you as it was relayed to me.

Anyway, my co-worker (let's call her Marie, just for the hell of it) was changing the oil on her car. She's in her early twenties and a single mom, so she has learned to be self-sufficient and somewhat of a penny pincher by necessity. She has changed her oil many times. So she got up under her car, drained out all the oil, took the old oil filter off, started to put the new oil filter on, and realized she had been given the wrong one.

So she does a quick wipe-down, hops in her mom's car (who happens to be watching the baby while she does this) and takes the filter down to the AutoZone where she bought it, and tells the fellow behind the counter that they have given her the wrong filter, and could she please exchange it. Right away, the guy behind the counter starts giving Marie the condescending attitude, saying something to the effect of, "Well, it's not our fault. You must not know what you're doing." Unspoken but very implied was, because you're a girl, and girls are dumb.

This guy proceeds to start waiting on other customers, completely ignoring Marie. Other customers are making purchases and even doing similar exchanges as hers. Every few minutes she pipes up to see how it's coming, and he brushes her off, moving on to someone else.

After one incident where a couple other customers are standing behind her and the counter guy tries to go around her yet again, the customer directly behind her says, "Um, she was here long before me, she's next." To which the guy promptly excuses himself to the other end of the counter.

This got her wound up. Now you have to know, I've worked with Marie for a very long time, and she is a very sweet-tempered person. Wouldn't say boo if she were a ghost. But she just got so irritated with this treatment, and she had already been waiting nearly half an hour (no kidding, and none of the other counter people were free to help her), she called out, "Excuse me, do I have to have a dick to get some service around here?"

The guy finally came over to start working with her, but the phone rang. And instead of putting the caller on hold, and taking two minutes to finish the exchange, he stayed on the line with the caller another 15 minutes. All told, Marie spent 45 minutes in that store just to exchange an oil filter.

As Marie relayed this story to me, she said, "I could understand it if it was some older guy who was set in his ways. But this was a guy my age, maybe a little younger, even. Where do they get this attitude from in this day and age?"

[protege]

Ugh. I'm a guy...and reading that just pisses me off. Granted, many women don't know a spark plug from a brake pad... but still. My feeling is, if a woman can work on her own car, more power to her, and she gets all the "mad props" I can find.

I got the cold shoulder from a parts store not too long ago. At the time, I was driving a '91 Toyota Tercel, and one of the headlights had failed. Since the car didn't have the "aero-style" headlights--it had the older "exposed" lights--I thought it would be easy to get another one. All I needed was a rectangular light, and all would be good. However, the parts guy insisted I needed one of the halogen lights (looks like a glass tube) instead. I had to drag him out to the car before he realized what I needed.

Found out later that Toyota had changed the headlights midway through the model year...and for some reason, the shop had the wrong part listed.

[chainedbarista]

it doesn't matter what his age is; the attitude was uncalled for and she had every right to complain to the manager (or higher, if need be). she had a legit complaint and he brushed her off, even going so far as to serve others without handling her problem.

that guy needs a write up and a class in customer service care, as well as some sensitivity training.

[powerboy]

That guy is jerk for that. Just like Protege said, if A woman can work on her own car, more props to her.

[iradney]

oh my giddy aunt, that would've made steam boil out of my ears!
the dude was a total jerk, and she should've marched to the manager and informed him that he has a very incompetent employee!
Kudos to your friend for being nice about it tho - the "do i need a dick to get service" made me giggle insanely

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yes, the guy was a complete jerk and needed to be called on the carpet for his behavior.

However, Marie need desperately to learn to stand up for herself. You are treated the way to expect to be treated. Jerks learn very quickly who they can treat like that. And apparently, Marie is one of the people he can treat like that.

I'm glad she finally spoke up, but she should have done so after 15 minutes, not 45 minutes. If she is interested in being respected, then she needs to command respect for herself, not wait till someone steps in an rescues her.

[TennesseePieman]

Well, she spoke up and got his attention at about the half-hour mark, but then he went and answered the phone, and decided it was more desirable to stay on the phone for another 15 minutes, thereby allowing her to stew just a little bit more. I agree, she should have said something sooner, but like a lot of people would do, especially in customer service, she probably just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. You don't always want to believe the people behind the counter are trying to push you around, because that's not how you would do it.

When she told me this story yesterday (Tuesday), she had already made up her mind as soon as she left work to find a store manager or district manager with a sympathetic ear. If I learn anything else about it, I'll post it here.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, true. Sometimes, other people's outrageousness catches us flat footed, and we try giving the benefit of doubt far past the point we should. I have done it myself, and nobody would ever accuse me of being shy or a shrinking violet. Sometimes the little voice in your head is going "Surely, he is not doing what it LOOKS like he's doing. Surely, nobody is that rude."

Sometimes the little voice can be very, very naive.

I have a friend who is even more in your face than I am, and someone did some crazy rude crap to her. I couldn't believe she didn't go completely off on him. She said, "You know, looking back, I know I should have, but while it was happening, I was so STUNNED that anyone could be that out of line, it's like it didn't register in my brain. I was so dumbfounded, all I could do is just stand there with my mouth hanging open. "

So yeah, I can see that.

[Becks]

I'm just wondering...did she ever get to exchange the filter?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Now, as mean and snarly and "girl power" as I am, I admit that I can do basic things: change a tire, pump my own gas, add coolant and wiper cleaner, check and add my own oil, etc., and if I were REALLY pressed to do it, I MIGHT could change oil. (And I know which part of a car battery one should not stick a wrench to...long story.) But beyond that, I can pretty much open the hood and find an engine. Go me.

But if I were trying to ask a question about my car and some little male twitch like this sucker were trying to condescend to me, he might get a dipstick wedged up his...uh, dipstick.

[ditchdj]

Ooh go to the DM. I've heard that complaints like that will make a "Crazy Alice" (if you know who I'm talking about and listen to Howard Stern!) out of some DM's in a hurry.

[Dreamstalker]

But if I were trying to ask a question about my car and some little male twitch like this sucker were trying to condescend to me, he might get a dipstick wedged up his...uh, dipstick.

Oh dear...two of my muses just ran and hid under the bed.

Ditto for me and most computer stores...every once in awhile a friend would try to pull that on me if I'm discussing a difficult repair job ("are you sure you're doing that right/did you do X and Y?" etc...yes X and Y [steps that would be obvious to a chimp] were the first things I did as I told you an hour ago).

[wagegoth]

A lot of men, in fact, the majority of men and women today don't know any more about their cars than how to put gasoline in them (and not even that in Oregon and New Jersey, apparently).

My dad owned a Chevron station when I was a kid. Three girls, me the oldest and most mechanical so I'm Daddy's helper.

True, with all the changes to car engines in the last 30 years a lot of what I learned is out of date, but the basics are the same. I can usually tell you what part of the car or engine is having the problem (fuel, electrical, etc.) but not necessarily what.

A mechanic, car salesman, computer tech or [fill in the blank] who condescends to me definitely gets ripped a new one, very politely and very thoroughly.

[Rapscallion]

I can put fuel, water, oil, and air into the correct holes. I can change a tyre. I could probably manage the odd wiper blade and have survived changing the occasional bulb. After that, there are people who are more than willing to take my cash to do the more technical stuff properly.

The 'properly' part is the important bit for me.

Rapscallion

[IT Grunt]

I used to attempt my own car repairs until I pulled an expensive mistake. I had a '91 Plymouth Acclaim that had this nasty tendency to just die on you. I had it quit while driving 55 MPH in rush hour traffic too. Quite an experience to throw it into neutral, re-start it and slam it back into drive before I slowed down too much.

So, my limited car knowledge at the time led me to suspect a problem with the distributor cap, as I'd had a car before that did the same thing and that fixed it. So I buy the parts. Easy to replace a distributor cap, right? Heh... well, not if you go to unscrew the old cap and snap the heads off the screws.

So, I had to find a shop since we'd only been in the area for 3 months. Found one that was able to back out the screws and put the cap on for me, and it still didn't fix the problem. Turned out that the idle speed was set too low, like 100 RPM. An adjustment there, and it never died on me again. From that point forward, however, I always took my car in to a shop to have work done on it. I haven't touched a tool to it since.