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Update: Jan of this year I left for a whirlwind tour of the world...nah, just kidding. I left to take part in a six week and some change training stint with the company I work for now. Great job, funky week though. On three, off four, on four off three. (I'm on my four day off now.) I train others how to operate the machines, and will be required once a year to head overseas...again, to update my own training. (Least they pay for expenses.)
It was flying over to Japan that much of my suck began, and in returning that it hit me full force. It's all laughable, though I think the best was an incident I had on one of my days off while over there.
1.) Flight out: Concorde this is not. Ok, here's the deal, if you're flying international; you can usually bet on an 18 or more hour flight. After a short hop out to LA, I caught my transfer and settled in. The flight was supposed to take off right away, but something had blown onto the runway and the crews had to make sure it was clear. So we had to wait. Ten, twenty minutes at best. All is well and good, until the guy in the seat next to me asks quote "How long is this going to take? I've got an appointment today at four!" Blinking, I check my watch and see that it's noon, and look back at him. "You're going to be late. This is an eighteen hour flight." The man stares at me dumbfounded. He apparently had no clue.
2.) Baggage warp. Short one this. When I landed, the airline had somehow managed to lose one of my bags which contained my underwear and toiletries, but in the process of doing so I'd somehow gained a suit. It doesn't fit, and smells faintly of mothballs, but the baggage claim tag on it says it's mine, and darn it the airline swears it's the one I started with, so I gave up arguing that one.
3.) Do you speak ENGLISH? Second short one. Not long after landing, I drag my redneck, jet laggy self to the apartment I'm going to be staying at. I swear on my life, as I'm standing in the lobby of this place, this lady walks up to me and asks with a thick Boston accent "Do you speak English?" I simply responded. "No, hablo ingles.." This seemed to satisfy her, and she wandered off, muttering something about mexicans being everywhere.
4.) Why did you ask me (part deux). Different tourist this time, and yet I still wonder why they ask me stupid questions. I had gone down to the shopping district (which is a MUST for anyone that gets a chance to go to Tokyo) for a bit one night. I'll be honest, I barely speak Japanese, and my reading...well it's hit and miss. So imagine my shock when another tourist walks up to me, this one with an accent I can't place, and asks me for directions. They were wanting the nearest train station, which I actually knew. So after a moment of thinking I gave some nice directions and watched them wander off, to which my friend noted that I needed to quit wearing whatever cologne it was I was wearing that day, as I seemed to be attracting them. (Gravekeeper, you lose any callers? I think I know where they went.)
5.) BAKA! Ok, Baka means (roughly translated) Idiot. My supervisor, who was training over there, managed to screw up one of the machines to the point that even the Japanese trainers couldn't fix it. They took to calling him "Baka" every time they saw him. He thought it was a title. We let him wear a badge on his shirt for a week before letting him in on the joke. He was not amused.
6.) Cool pilot! As we were flying over LA, our pilot comes on the intercom and directs us to the various sights we can see from the plane. After a moment he adds "And if there's any film directors in the plane "TORA TORA TORA!" I think he actually was handing out glossy photos as we departed, but I was too sleepy to notice or really care.
7.) Time Warp? Last one this. Ok, it's funny to me, but somewhat stupid. When I left, it was a Thursday. When the plane landed, due to the international date line, it was a Friday. So, naturally I "Lost" a day. When I picked up my luggage, I noticed that the tag on it was dated for June of 2010. So some how my luggage had gone back in time to get to me. I wonder if I have to fly somewhere in June to keep from creating a paradox and unraveling time...
It was flying over to Japan that much of my suck began, and in returning that it hit me full force. It's all laughable, though I think the best was an incident I had on one of my days off while over there.
1.) Flight out: Concorde this is not. Ok, here's the deal, if you're flying international; you can usually bet on an 18 or more hour flight. After a short hop out to LA, I caught my transfer and settled in. The flight was supposed to take off right away, but something had blown onto the runway and the crews had to make sure it was clear. So we had to wait. Ten, twenty minutes at best. All is well and good, until the guy in the seat next to me asks quote "How long is this going to take? I've got an appointment today at four!" Blinking, I check my watch and see that it's noon, and look back at him. "You're going to be late. This is an eighteen hour flight." The man stares at me dumbfounded. He apparently had no clue.
2.) Baggage warp. Short one this. When I landed, the airline had somehow managed to lose one of my bags which contained my underwear and toiletries, but in the process of doing so I'd somehow gained a suit. It doesn't fit, and smells faintly of mothballs, but the baggage claim tag on it says it's mine, and darn it the airline swears it's the one I started with, so I gave up arguing that one.
3.) Do you speak ENGLISH? Second short one. Not long after landing, I drag my redneck, jet laggy self to the apartment I'm going to be staying at. I swear on my life, as I'm standing in the lobby of this place, this lady walks up to me and asks with a thick Boston accent "Do you speak English?" I simply responded. "No, hablo ingles.." This seemed to satisfy her, and she wandered off, muttering something about mexicans being everywhere.
4.) Why did you ask me (part deux). Different tourist this time, and yet I still wonder why they ask me stupid questions. I had gone down to the shopping district (which is a MUST for anyone that gets a chance to go to Tokyo) for a bit one night. I'll be honest, I barely speak Japanese, and my reading...well it's hit and miss. So imagine my shock when another tourist walks up to me, this one with an accent I can't place, and asks me for directions. They were wanting the nearest train station, which I actually knew. So after a moment of thinking I gave some nice directions and watched them wander off, to which my friend noted that I needed to quit wearing whatever cologne it was I was wearing that day, as I seemed to be attracting them. (Gravekeeper, you lose any callers? I think I know where they went.)
5.) BAKA! Ok, Baka means (roughly translated) Idiot. My supervisor, who was training over there, managed to screw up one of the machines to the point that even the Japanese trainers couldn't fix it. They took to calling him "Baka" every time they saw him. He thought it was a title. We let him wear a badge on his shirt for a week before letting him in on the joke. He was not amused.
6.) Cool pilot! As we were flying over LA, our pilot comes on the intercom and directs us to the various sights we can see from the plane. After a moment he adds "And if there's any film directors in the plane "TORA TORA TORA!" I think he actually was handing out glossy photos as we departed, but I was too sleepy to notice or really care.
7.) Time Warp? Last one this. Ok, it's funny to me, but somewhat stupid. When I left, it was a Thursday. When the plane landed, due to the international date line, it was a Friday. So, naturally I "Lost" a day. When I picked up my luggage, I noticed that the tag on it was dated for June of 2010. So some how my luggage had gone back in time to get to me. I wonder if I have to fly somewhere in June to keep from creating a paradox and unraveling time...
You're evil. I like you.
. Did he actually mean to go to Japan then, or did he get on the wrong plane too?
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