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  • #1

    Thanks For Sharing

    I'd just been in the grocery store and was now standing outside with my purchases, waiting for my noble chariot (my mommy) to arrive. Standing there, minding my own business, mirrored shades on and hood up cause it was chilly, looking just about as menacing as lil' 5'0" me can look. It is important to note that I had in my arms a huge 16-roll pack of toilet paper which would obviously not fit into a bag, and could not be concealed.

    So standing there, not saying boo to anyone, when a woman who had just come out the exit doors stops right in front of me. I shall call her Strange Lady, or SL.

    SL: OH! MY! GOD! NO WAY!
    Me:
    SL: That's the same brand I USE!!!!!
    Me: That's... Nice?
    SL: Yeah, my friend, y'know, she bought this other stuff, Cottonelle, and she swears by it, but I buy this brand and it's so much better!
    Me: Unhunh... (She was being so boistrous and loud and enthusiastic that I was actually slightly backing away at this point.)
    SL: Yeah, this brand kicks ass because you can get away with using so much less of it than the other stuff. The other stuff is so wasteful! An entire tree to clean your ass!
    Me:
    SL: Oh yeah, I've tried using all the other stuff, but I don't anymore because it gives me sores.
    Me: *whimper*
    SL: Sores? Y'know? Down there? (at this, she points vigorously at her crotch) So many sores! I couldn't shit properly for weeks! I will never use any other brand! And it's so much cheaper! Wow, it's SO GREAT ALL THE TIME!

    ... And then she walked away, leaving me to weep pitifully at the images now invading my brain.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    see, people like this is why i only ever respond with "do i know you? then why are you talking to me?" any more.
    Siead

    Hobby Twitter.

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    • #3


      I love how she treats your purchase of her favourite brand as some sort of INSANE COINCIDENCE. Like the toilet paper you were holding could only be found in one small village in the mountains of Tibet, not at the store outside of which you were both currently standing.

      OH. MY. GOD!

      If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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      • #4
        What "other stuff" was she using? Industrial grade sandpaper?
        "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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        • #5
          I wanna know what brand you use! It must be some amazing stuff!!
          Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

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          • #6
            Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
            What "other stuff" was she using? Industrial grade sandpaper?
            Sandblaster, woodchips, hedgehogs..?

            the_std, you'll be pleased to note I'm sending over a ton of brain bleach for you for that one!
            A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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            • #7

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              • #8
                If you think THAT'S bad, you should see their "Cactus Tampons"!

                Last edited by Boozy; 03-03-2010, 10:41 PM. Reason: Removed image (we just saw it).
                "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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                • #9
                  Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                  What "other stuff" was she using? Industrial grade sandpaper?
                  John Wayne-brand toilet paper.

                  It's rough, it's tough, and it takes no crap from anybody.
                  Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                  "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                  • #10
                    The best part is that it was literally no-name toilet paper, a house brand name for a Canadian chain of grocery stores. It was the cheapest stuff I could find, and it's definitely not the nicest out there, but she made it out like you'd be wiping your ass with silk or something.

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                    • #11
                      Is anyone else noticing the irony of a woman complaining of crotch sores being posted by someone called "the std"?

                      *hides*
                      GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth the_std View Post
                        The best part is that it was literally no-name toilet paper, a house brand name for a Canadian chain of grocery stores. It was the cheapest stuff I could find, and it's definitely not the nicest out there, but she made it out like you'd be wiping your ass with silk or something.
                        Maybe she was surprised that it was any good? I find that No-Name tends to be a little questionable sometimes. (And their toilet paper doesn't come in large packs). Given that the normal problem is the packaging tears, I can see being surprised that the toilet paper is ok. (I use PC instead to avoid this, and because I'm married to a hippie).

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                        • #13
                          Quoth the_std View Post
                          The best part is that it was literally no-name toilet paper, a house brand name for a Canadian chain of grocery stores. It was the cheapest stuff I could find, and it's definitely not the nicest out there, but she made it out like you'd be wiping your ass with silk or something.
                          Is it called Basic Red (or something along those lines)?

                          Because if so...

                          OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE WE USE THE SAME TOILET PAPER! ISN'T IT SOOOO SOOOOOOFT?

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                          • #14
                            You guys do realize that most of the time, the generic store label stuff is made in the exact same factory as the expensive brand name version, right?

                            Some people just insist on buying the really expensive stuff which is the same thing as the el-cheapo store brand version. The only difference is the sticker on the box.

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                            • #15
                              There must be something in the air, the other day at the chemist I was buying some hair remover for my legs and the assistant commented on it, saying "what's it like, is it any good, my legs are so hairy I need to get something"

                              I replied because it amused me telling her it was a good and effective brand and did not smell of chemicals

                              When we got outside my boyfriend said to me "you should have let her feel your leg, how smooth it is"

                              LOL
                              Customer "why did you answer the phone if you can't help me?"

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