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I got this one from my mom the other day and its a 2 for 1 to boot. ( Glee! )
My folks NEVER go to Walmart normally for obvious reasons. But Walmart had one item on their Christmas shopping list on sale so they figured they could suffer it long enough just to grab that one thing.
So they get up to the check out and of course the line is huge at every cashier. They don't mind though, they expected as much being its Walmart in December. But of course my folks are sane, non-SCs with common sense. Unlike other people in line....
So there's an old guy behind them thats sighing, huffing and tapping his feet. He also, according to my mom, had not showered in at least a month. Well, he starts using classic lines I've only ever read about on Customers Suck:
"This is ridiculous! They should have more cashiers on! Why is it taking so long?!"
My mom noted that every check out was open so it was physically impossible to add more cashiers. But when has logic ever stopped one of these people? Anyway, this guy keeps getting more and more huffy till finally he's reached his limit....
So he leaves the line and stomps over to the customer service desk. he then seizes the entire stack of Customer Feedback cards, marchs back over to the line and begins to hand them out to everyone and loudly instructing them to mark everything on them as "Very Unsatisfactory" or whatever.
By now my stepdad is chuckling and trying not to outright laugh ( He loves watching twits like this ) and my mom is in full "Oh God, whatever, just leave us alone" mode so she takes a card from him but doesn't say anything. Of course after he's done the dumbass realises has to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. Way to go.
But he's not the only one. After he's out of the way the woman in the line right across from my folks starts the same rountine. My mom painted a vivid picture of this Walmart Beast for me: In the neighbourhood of 400 lbs, likely never taken a shower in her LIFE. Stringy, greasy hair that would probably recoil and hiss if you brought a comb near it. She's stuffed into at least 3 layers of clothing so she's sweating like a lawn sprinkler and has the aroma to prove it. She's also wearing knee high furry boots. To top it all off she has 5 kids with her ranging from 3 to 14. All of which look as if they live in a ditch.
So she's bitching about how long its taking, need more cashiers, blah blah. The kids are starting to whine. So she turns on the kids and starts telling them to "SHUT THE *(&@#)$ UP!". The kids in turn, much to my mom's horror, start telling the woman to "(*@#&$ OFF" right back. So she's screaming and swearing at her kids and they're screaming and swearing back.
Now my step dad is laughing his ass off. My mom just looks at him and says "We're never coming back here ever again."
My stepdad looked at her and quite loudly announced ( Specifically for the SCs and everyone in line to hear) : "Why not? This is great! Where else can we get this kind of entertainment?"
I'm sure he got deathglares, not that he noticed. He was having too much of a blast. Apparently some other people in line got a laugh out of it too though. Much to Walmart Beast's ire I'm sure. ^^
My folks NEVER go to Walmart normally for obvious reasons. But Walmart had one item on their Christmas shopping list on sale so they figured they could suffer it long enough just to grab that one thing.
So they get up to the check out and of course the line is huge at every cashier. They don't mind though, they expected as much being its Walmart in December. But of course my folks are sane, non-SCs with common sense. Unlike other people in line....
So there's an old guy behind them thats sighing, huffing and tapping his feet. He also, according to my mom, had not showered in at least a month. Well, he starts using classic lines I've only ever read about on Customers Suck:
"This is ridiculous! They should have more cashiers on! Why is it taking so long?!"
My mom noted that every check out was open so it was physically impossible to add more cashiers. But when has logic ever stopped one of these people? Anyway, this guy keeps getting more and more huffy till finally he's reached his limit....
So he leaves the line and stomps over to the customer service desk. he then seizes the entire stack of Customer Feedback cards, marchs back over to the line and begins to hand them out to everyone and loudly instructing them to mark everything on them as "Very Unsatisfactory" or whatever.
By now my stepdad is chuckling and trying not to outright laugh ( He loves watching twits like this ) and my mom is in full "Oh God, whatever, just leave us alone" mode so she takes a card from him but doesn't say anything. Of course after he's done the dumbass realises has to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. Way to go.
But he's not the only one. After he's out of the way the woman in the line right across from my folks starts the same rountine. My mom painted a vivid picture of this Walmart Beast for me: In the neighbourhood of 400 lbs, likely never taken a shower in her LIFE. Stringy, greasy hair that would probably recoil and hiss if you brought a comb near it. She's stuffed into at least 3 layers of clothing so she's sweating like a lawn sprinkler and has the aroma to prove it. She's also wearing knee high furry boots. To top it all off she has 5 kids with her ranging from 3 to 14. All of which look as if they live in a ditch.
So she's bitching about how long its taking, need more cashiers, blah blah. The kids are starting to whine. So she turns on the kids and starts telling them to "SHUT THE *(&@#)$ UP!". The kids in turn, much to my mom's horror, start telling the woman to "(*@#&$ OFF" right back. So she's screaming and swearing at her kids and they're screaming and swearing back.
Now my step dad is laughing his ass off. My mom just looks at him and says "We're never coming back here ever again."
My stepdad looked at her and quite loudly announced ( Specifically for the SCs and everyone in line to hear) : "Why not? This is great! Where else can we get this kind of entertainment?"
I'm sure he got deathglares, not that he noticed. He was having too much of a blast. Apparently some other people in line got a laugh out of it too though. Much to Walmart Beast's ire I'm sure. ^^
Your dad rocks.
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