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I have a decent amount of social anxiety, which in this case means if I don't know you, I can either answer questions or look at you. Pick one. I am also cursed with a childish voice that gets even softer when I'm nervous. I understand this is frustrating, and probably rude, but I do try to be as polite as I can be when checking out at the gas station. (My main source of caffeine.) Usually the cashier is the same guy, and I'll talk to him because I'm used to him. Recently, though, it was some other girl, so I went through my usual routine of "hi," pay for stuff, "thanks, have a nice day," get out before having to say anything not in the routine or *shudder* make eye contact.
Later, I heard her at the library ranting to a friend about how some <enter unflattering description of me> b**** was acting better than her and wouldn't even give her the time of day. I'm sorry, but unless you know the first aid for hyperventilation and muscle spasms, you really don't want me paying a lot of attention to you. I focus enough to not be horribly rude, and I don't act like I'm better than you, but I have to distract myself from the fact that I'm talking to someone who I don't know and who could laugh at me, yell at me, or just dismiss me out of hand. I know clerks won't do anything of these things to my face, but it's still possible. And when I hear them complaining about how stuck up I am, I no longer want to leave my room at all because I might see someone and offend them. If you really want me to talk and look at you, make some actual conversation. Yes, I dread it, but once you do I get more used to it.
As I said in my first post, I'm not antisocial, just shy.
Later, I heard her at the library ranting to a friend about how some <enter unflattering description of me> b**** was acting better than her and wouldn't even give her the time of day. I'm sorry, but unless you know the first aid for hyperventilation and muscle spasms, you really don't want me paying a lot of attention to you. I focus enough to not be horribly rude, and I don't act like I'm better than you, but I have to distract myself from the fact that I'm talking to someone who I don't know and who could laugh at me, yell at me, or just dismiss me out of hand. I know clerks won't do anything of these things to my face, but it's still possible. And when I hear them complaining about how stuck up I am, I no longer want to leave my room at all because I might see someone and offend them. If you really want me to talk and look at you, make some actual conversation. Yes, I dread it, but once you do I get more used to it.
As I said in my first post, I'm not antisocial, just shy.
Hope you hang around for a while; we're a pretty nice bunch. I've found that trawling the War Stories archive when I've had a bad day is therapeutic - no matter how bad my day has been, those guys have had it worse!
D
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