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Grr, it all happened in the last 10 minutes. 10. MINUTES. Why, gods, why!?!
Ahem...moving on...
No, really, I seriously didn't mean anything by that!!
I'm standing in the beverage section, and it's a pretty crowded place for a Sunday, so I stick my cart towards the end of the display, tucking it in next to a pallet of bottled water, while I shift a few feet down to peruse to sodas. I'm still on a quest to find a 0 calorie soda that's either not sweetened with aspartame (gives me headaches!) or that doesn't taste like crap. As I stand to look at another shelf I hear a cranky old bad huffing from the end of the aisle, like someone had just flashed her or something...
COB: Whose cart is this!?!?!
Me: Er...mine. sorry, is it in your way?
COB: YES! How am I supposed to get to the water??!!
Me: Ok, no problem, I can move it. I just didn't want to live it in the middle of the aisle and cause a barricade that people can't get around?
COB: You watch your mouth!!! You have NO RIGHT to pass judgment on me or anyone else?!?!
Me: Um...wuh...?
COB: <Stomps to the middle of an aisle where an overflowing cart sits - and I do mean right smack dab in the middle, no one can get around it, not even carrying a handbasket - and shoves it to the end of the aisle. She then stomps back down to where my cart is, grabs a case of water and stomps back to her cart.>
Me:
COB: <Glares at me as she walks away, muttering something about how youth have no respect or something, I'm sure...>
What are you, the line Nazi...? "No SCO for you!!"
I take my eight items up to the self checkout lanes. that's it. Eight items. I figure I'll be able to get through rather quickly once I get to a lane. there's a line, of course, and I go stand in it. Well, there's another crazy lady standing just to the side, yapping on a cell phone and holding basket of stuff, but when the line moves forward, she doesn't. Rather, she just waves people over to free checkout lanes, like she's directing traffic. An SCO opens up and I toddle over, and start scanning. Cue tap on my shoulder.
Her: Excuse YOU!! I was next in line!!
Me: actually, ma'am, you were on your phone...standing off to the side. <I'm still scanning at this point.>
Her: I was quite clearly next!! You need to wait your turn!!
Me: I'm sorry, but you weren't in line, and you were waving everyone ahead of you.
her: But I didn't let YOU go!!
Me: Funny, I didn't realize I require permission from random strangers to do my grocery shopping...
Her: GET BACK IN LINE AND WAIT YOUR TURN!
Me: No.
Her:
(zomg, i told her no!! le gasp!!!) And WHY not!?!?
Me: <Holds up my receipt> Because in all the time you were trying to act like my mother, I finished. and by the way, two other lanes have been standing open for the last 3 minutes while you were yelling at me.
And I walk away, while she stands there gaping like a landed fish.
<Sigh> Not TOO bad, I suppose, but jeebus. I just want ONE trip where I don't attract crazy like a gravitational field...
Ahem...moving on...
No, really, I seriously didn't mean anything by that!!
I'm standing in the beverage section, and it's a pretty crowded place for a Sunday, so I stick my cart towards the end of the display, tucking it in next to a pallet of bottled water, while I shift a few feet down to peruse to sodas. I'm still on a quest to find a 0 calorie soda that's either not sweetened with aspartame (gives me headaches!) or that doesn't taste like crap. As I stand to look at another shelf I hear a cranky old bad huffing from the end of the aisle, like someone had just flashed her or something...
COB: Whose cart is this!?!?!
Me: Er...mine. sorry, is it in your way?
COB: YES! How am I supposed to get to the water??!!
Me: Ok, no problem, I can move it. I just didn't want to live it in the middle of the aisle and cause a barricade that people can't get around?
COB: You watch your mouth!!! You have NO RIGHT to pass judgment on me or anyone else?!?!
Me: Um...wuh...?
COB: <Stomps to the middle of an aisle where an overflowing cart sits - and I do mean right smack dab in the middle, no one can get around it, not even carrying a handbasket - and shoves it to the end of the aisle. She then stomps back down to where my cart is, grabs a case of water and stomps back to her cart.>
Me:
COB: <Glares at me as she walks away, muttering something about how youth have no respect or something, I'm sure...>
What are you, the line Nazi...? "No SCO for you!!"
I take my eight items up to the self checkout lanes. that's it. Eight items. I figure I'll be able to get through rather quickly once I get to a lane. there's a line, of course, and I go stand in it. Well, there's another crazy lady standing just to the side, yapping on a cell phone and holding basket of stuff, but when the line moves forward, she doesn't. Rather, she just waves people over to free checkout lanes, like she's directing traffic. An SCO opens up and I toddle over, and start scanning. Cue tap on my shoulder.
Her: Excuse YOU!! I was next in line!!
Me: actually, ma'am, you were on your phone...standing off to the side. <I'm still scanning at this point.>
Her: I was quite clearly next!! You need to wait your turn!!
Me: I'm sorry, but you weren't in line, and you were waving everyone ahead of you.
her: But I didn't let YOU go!!
Me: Funny, I didn't realize I require permission from random strangers to do my grocery shopping...
Her: GET BACK IN LINE AND WAIT YOUR TURN!
Me: No.
Her:
(zomg, i told her no!! le gasp!!!) And WHY not!?!?Me: <Holds up my receipt> Because in all the time you were trying to act like my mother, I finished. and by the way, two other lanes have been standing open for the last 3 minutes while you were yelling at me.
And I walk away, while she stands there gaping like a landed fish.
<Sigh> Not TOO bad, I suppose, but jeebus. I just want ONE trip where I don't attract crazy like a gravitational field...
Ah... fun fun pwnage. ^^
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