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Accepted Forms of ID do not include 'Cross my heart...'
A pretty familiar story I guess.
Dramatis Personae:
OG1 - Obnoxious Guy 1 - lives in my building, I fear for his future offspring
OG2 - Obnoxious Guy 2 - lives pretty nearby, he has little chance of not getting kicked out this year
OG3 - Obnoxious Guy 3 - because they always come in threes
C1 - the poor cashier checking them out
C2 - the poor cashier checking me out
Me - idiot magnet
S - my friend
S and I were buying some booze on Thursday for the weekend. We were in the supermarket and I saw several students all stocking up for various Friday night parties. I look old for my age, always have (mistaken for 13 at 9, mistaken for 19 at 12, mistaken for 25 at 16), so it's uncommon for me to ever get ID'd, nonetheless I carry it with me always.
As the cashier was ringing up my bottles I noticed these really annoying guys from my course (they are, of course, god's gift to this university, how can nobody else get that?) buying some six packs. I think nothing of it, I don't want to talk with them so I don't make any attempts to attract their attention, but I can still hear every words the obnoxious dumbarses are saying, though not all of it was worth remembering.
OG1: -insert random babble about football/boobs/beer-
OG2: -insert moronic response-
C1: Can I see your ID please?
OG1: Aw, sh*t... Haven't got it on me. OG2?
OG2: Nah, sorry, mate... OG3?
OG3: Nah...
C1: Well then, I'm afraid-
OG1: But I'm wearing a uni hoodie! I gotta be 18, right?
C1: If you can't provide me with adequate ID then-
OG3: *has looked around desperately for a way to get his booze* Panda!
Me: *just finished paying* What?
OG3: You got your ID?
Me: Yes.
OG1: Aw, sweet, Panda, babe! Do us a favour?
Me: I'm not buying your beer.
OG2: Nah, nah, we got the money, we just need your ID.
Me: It would be illegal for me to buy that beer for you because you can't produce any ID.
OG1: But you know we're old enough.
Me: But they don't know that and you can't prove that and my word isn't going to affect their judgement.
OG1: But you know-
Me: Hey, I wouldn't sell you this without an ID check. They'd have to pay some pretty heavy fines if they got caught. I wouldn't risk in it in their situation.
OG1: But my hoodie-
Me: Hoodies are not accepted forms of ID in this supermarket, to my knowledge.
C1&2: *sniggering*
OG3: You didn't get ID'd while paying, did you?
Me: No.
OG3: *to C1* So how come you ID'd us? That's not FAIR!
C2: We operate Challenge 21 here. I didn't think she looked under 21, so I didn't feel the need to ID her.
OG1: But she's younger than me!
Me: No I'm not. (He's several months younger, but definitely of legal age)
C1: Well, regardless, you guys DO look under 21, and without ID I'm not serving you.
OG1: Aw, DUDE!
OG2: God, Panda, you're such an uptight b*tch.
Me: That's really nice. Y'know, under different circumstances I might have helped out at another shop or something, but announcing your plans to enlist me in illegal activities is pretty stupid.
OG1: I just wanted some f*cking beer!
Me: And I just wanted a hassle-free trip to the supermarket... and these guys probably just wanted a hassle-free shift... and these people *motioning to the massive line they're holding up* probably just want to pay for their items and go home without getting held up by some idiots who were too stupid to bring their IDs when buying booze in the full knowledge that you are going to get ID'd!
A man in the queue gave a clap and the rest of the line joined in with some nodding and various demonstrations of their approval. The three little idiots swaggered off, as if they had meant for it all to happen. C1 gave me and smile and thanks.
As we set off, S found her voice.
S: You know you won't be getting invited to their party now?
Me: What do I care? There won't be any booze at it anyway.
I feel I should call up those boys' parents... tell them they're flushing money down the drain if they think a university education will help their sons.
I long for the days that my appeared age is an asset.
Dramatis Personae:
OG1 - Obnoxious Guy 1 - lives in my building, I fear for his future offspring
OG2 - Obnoxious Guy 2 - lives pretty nearby, he has little chance of not getting kicked out this year
OG3 - Obnoxious Guy 3 - because they always come in threes
C1 - the poor cashier checking them out
C2 - the poor cashier checking me out
Me - idiot magnet
S - my friend
S and I were buying some booze on Thursday for the weekend. We were in the supermarket and I saw several students all stocking up for various Friday night parties. I look old for my age, always have (mistaken for 13 at 9, mistaken for 19 at 12, mistaken for 25 at 16), so it's uncommon for me to ever get ID'd, nonetheless I carry it with me always.
As the cashier was ringing up my bottles I noticed these really annoying guys from my course (they are, of course, god's gift to this university, how can nobody else get that?) buying some six packs. I think nothing of it, I don't want to talk with them so I don't make any attempts to attract their attention, but I can still hear every words the obnoxious dumbarses are saying, though not all of it was worth remembering.
OG1: -insert random babble about football/boobs/beer-
OG2: -insert moronic response-
C1: Can I see your ID please?
OG1: Aw, sh*t... Haven't got it on me. OG2?
OG2: Nah, sorry, mate... OG3?
OG3: Nah...
C1: Well then, I'm afraid-
OG1: But I'm wearing a uni hoodie! I gotta be 18, right?
C1: If you can't provide me with adequate ID then-
OG3: *has looked around desperately for a way to get his booze* Panda!
Me: *just finished paying* What?
OG3: You got your ID?
Me: Yes.
OG1: Aw, sweet, Panda, babe! Do us a favour?
Me: I'm not buying your beer.
OG2: Nah, nah, we got the money, we just need your ID.
Me: It would be illegal for me to buy that beer for you because you can't produce any ID.
OG1: But you know we're old enough.
Me: But they don't know that and you can't prove that and my word isn't going to affect their judgement.
OG1: But you know-
Me: Hey, I wouldn't sell you this without an ID check. They'd have to pay some pretty heavy fines if they got caught. I wouldn't risk in it in their situation.
OG1: But my hoodie-
Me: Hoodies are not accepted forms of ID in this supermarket, to my knowledge.
C1&2: *sniggering*
OG3: You didn't get ID'd while paying, did you?
Me: No.
OG3: *to C1* So how come you ID'd us? That's not FAIR!
C2: We operate Challenge 21 here. I didn't think she looked under 21, so I didn't feel the need to ID her.
OG1: But she's younger than me!
Me: No I'm not. (He's several months younger, but definitely of legal age)
C1: Well, regardless, you guys DO look under 21, and without ID I'm not serving you.
OG1: Aw, DUDE!
OG2: God, Panda, you're such an uptight b*tch.
Me: That's really nice. Y'know, under different circumstances I might have helped out at another shop or something, but announcing your plans to enlist me in illegal activities is pretty stupid.
OG1: I just wanted some f*cking beer!
Me: And I just wanted a hassle-free trip to the supermarket... and these guys probably just wanted a hassle-free shift... and these people *motioning to the massive line they're holding up* probably just want to pay for their items and go home without getting held up by some idiots who were too stupid to bring their IDs when buying booze in the full knowledge that you are going to get ID'd!
A man in the queue gave a clap and the rest of the line joined in with some nodding and various demonstrations of their approval. The three little idiots swaggered off, as if they had meant for it all to happen. C1 gave me and smile and thanks.
As we set off, S found her voice.
S: You know you won't be getting invited to their party now?
Me: What do I care? There won't be any booze at it anyway.
I feel I should call up those boys' parents... tell them they're flushing money down the drain if they think a university education will help their sons.
I long for the days that my appeared age is an asset.
)
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