yeah..talk about her butt some more

[Ljt09863]

so Fiancee and I went to the grocery store to get a couple things we needed. as we were checking out, i noticed there were two older ment behind us in line. i didn't pay attention to them at all. as the cashier took my money, i realized i probably should have paid alittle more attention.

NC-nice cashier
PM- Perverted man

NC- excuse me?
PM- we were talkng about that guy over there!
NC- oh really? cause i could have sworn you were talking about my butt!
PM-we were talking about that guy over there!
NC- well, it sure sounded like you were talking about my butt!
PM-Well! its not like we are in church or anything!!!!
NC- i don't care! you don't do that in public period! its rude and disgusting!

she the turns to me.

NC- heres your change. have a great day!
ME- thanks, and you try to as well.


nc rolled her eyes and said,"ill TRY to" and looked in thge mens direction.

i couldn't believe it! i really din't listen to what the men were saying, but they stopped denying it. i walked away wishing i had paid more attention. if i had, i would have said something to them. i think it is rude and disgusting that these men were acting this way.

it was weird, caus from the second they got in line, i had a weird feeling about them. first of all, they stunk(no, thats not gaveme the weird feeling, but it was still annoying). but i made sure to keep to the other side of fiancee and kept real close to him. i just had this weird feeling. it must have been my POLA(perverted old man alarm) going off.

[thegiraffe]

Good for her for saying something to them! A lot of places make it difficult for employees to stand up for themselves, glad that she can there.

We have a lot of VERY pretty girls where I work, so perverts are a constant issue for us. We all have permission to tell them to "f-off in the nicest way possible" (my manager's exact words) and stand up for ourselves. My other manager goes all mama-bear on any customer she sees abusing her associates - especially the females. I've seen her almost make a grown man cry. It's quite amusing, but it's so nice to know that she'll back us up.

[RogueOne]

We all have permission to tell them to "f-off in the nicest way possible" (my manager's exact words) and stand up for ourselves.

Examples, please. I want to know how to tell someone to f-off but in a nice way.

[MadonnaC]

Polite way?

Genesis 9:1


God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them: "Be fertile and multiply and fill the earth......


Sounds to me that god just told Noah to F-off

[thegiraffe]

Lol Rogue -

She essentially meant to explain to them in the nicest way possible that their advance is not welcome and will not be tolerated. I actually did tell a customer off once for that reason in front of that manager. She stood up for me and backed me up. I couldn't ask for it to go any better

[PorkChop]

This happened last night...

One of my regular customers came in last night to buy beer. He was chewing on a red piece of paper that looked like a cigarette. He noticed that I looked at it oddly and he said that he is trying to quit smoking. He hasn't had a smoke in 4 months.

Me: duh!
DOG: Dirty Old Guy

Me: Good job on quitting smoking! Keep up the good work!
DOG: Thank you.
Me: Do whatever helps. Chew on gum, pens, pencils...
DOG: Chew on pussy.
Me:
DOG: Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of said that.
Me: That was very inappropriate. I am a lady and I expect to be treated like a lady. I am a married woman and you trying to hit on me is not appreciated. If you want to treat women like a piece of meat, go next door. (There is a strip bar next door to the C-Store. The bouncers and most of the girls are nice, BTW.)

Dirty Old Guy gives me a sheepish look and takes his beer and leaves. The nerve! I hate dirty old guys, they are such DOGs!!

[Canarr]

i couldn't believe it! i really din't listen to what the men were saying, but they stopped denying it. i walked away wishing i had paid more attention. if i had, i would have said something to them. i think it is rude and disgusting that these men were acting this way.

So... I'll assume you've never been out with a few of your girl friends, seen a goodlooking guy, and commented on any of his physical features? I admire your selfcontrol.

I'm gonna step forward and admit it: my name's Jens, I'm soon to turn 29, and I have looked at attractive women. In public. On occasion, I may have even turned my head to look after an attractive woman walking past me. Maybe I even turned back to whatever friend I happenend to be walking with and said, "Damn.", or sth similar.

Men do that. It's nothing sinister, it's nothing threatening, it's no declaration of love or war. It's just men being men. Get over it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I have run my van up onto a curb. I almost took her off a narrow bridge and put her down into a creekbed.

Both times looking at a man.


Excerpt from conversation between me and a girlfriend between songs at The Publick House upon observing this young godling they'd hired to serve beer all night:

Me: (under my breath) holySMOKE, if I were about 20 years younger and single.....
My Friend: No kidding. I was thinking the same damn thing.

I just like looking at beauty. In any form. Guilty as charged!

[Ljt09863]

Men do that. It's nothing sinister, it's nothing threatening, it's no declaration of love or war. It's just men being men. Get over it.

is that what you would have said to the cashier who the men were talking about? would you have just told her to get over it? who cares if its her body and she doesn't appreciate men talking about it that way?

and for a fact, i really don't talk about mens bodies. ive always been more of a personality kind of person.

it wasn't as though these two men were taling about this women from afar. they were in the cashiers line, next in line, and were talking about her butt in front of her like it didn't matter. thats what the issue was. they disrespected her right in front of her. and how do you know it wasn't anything sinister? this nieghborhood that this happened in is known for rapes. how do you know that these two men weren't scooping out women?

it isn't men just being men. its about respect, and they didn't have it, and it seems likeyou don't either.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I see it from both sides. You're right, nobody should ever talk about someone as if they were a piece of meat right there where they can hear you. It's low and crass at best, and disrepectful and downright threatening at worst. So these guys were in the wrong. No argument.

But I am guessing what bothers Canaar is what bothers me, too: The idea that if the person is attractive enough, the attention is okay. If they are not attractive, then it's creepy or smarmy. I hear that alot "A gross old guy hit on me...ew!" You'd never hear "ew" if they guy looked like, for instance, the waiter in the pub.

It's all about respect, or lack therof. Looking at someone, flirting respectfully, offering conversation or a drink, none of these things is bad in and of themselves. It's when you couple in aggression and disrespect that they become bad. That should be where you get your "ew" factor.

[DesignFox]

I agree...we all look at other people and make comments about what we see- we all appreciate beauty. The difference is respect. Loudly making comments to your friend about the quality of your cashier's butt is a little disrespectful. At least comment out of her earshot, or keep your voices low. Most women are not comfortable overhearing such comments.

And of course, there are always respectful ways to tell a woman you appreciate her good looks- and creepy ones. Loudly proclaiming to your friend (as if the lady can't hear you) "she's got a great can!" or anything along those lines, is sure to get you a dirty look at the least.

I've had guys hit on me before and it may have made me uncomfortable, but if the man was respectful, I took the compliments graciously, admitted to being flattered, but expressed my disinterest and sent him on his way.

In this case, it certainly sounds like these men were being disrespectful. Not just "being men"

[Seshat]

But I am guessing what bothers Canaar is what bothers me, too: The idea that if the person is attractive enough, the attention is okay. If they are not attractive, then it's creepy or smarmy. I hear that alot "A gross old guy hit on me...ew!" You'd never hear "ew" if they guy looked like, for instance, the waiter in the pub.

I don't care what the guy looks like: if he acts creepy, he's creepy.

What bothers me most is that the men who've treated me with disrespect have managed (over many, many years) to make me wary of almost all men.

I don't like it. I want to change it. But I've just had too many guys who I thought were nice, friendly people, who treated me with respect, suddenly turn out to be creeps. I can no longer tell who's a nice guy, and who isn't. I REALLY hate that. I do far too many decent, normal guys the disservice of having a part of my mind warily analysing for creep-potential.

(sigh)

I've tried all sorts of signals to say 'I just want to be friends'. Including stuff as blunt as those words themselves. But to the creeps, smiling and saying 'hi' seems to be considered 'leading them on'.

[Misanthropical]

My husband always told me that men and women couldn't just be friends (think "When Harry Met Sally") and I always thought he was full of it, but after the last incident where I thought the guy was a great friend only to find out he thought of me differently than I thought of him, I have to wonder.

I find that my oldest son is good at running off creeps trying to hit on me. He doesn't have to say a thing, only show up at the right time and call me "mom". The guy will look at my son like and high tail it the other way.

I don't care what the guy looks like, I find it very disrespectful to hit on me when I'm clearly wearing a wedding ring. It's even more disrespectful for them to keep trying when they know I'm married.

[AFpheonix]

There's a difference between thinking and commenting quietly when you're out of earshot about the hotness of someone (Like our new LP guy....Mmmm...me and one of the cosmetics gals were drooling the other day) and being a complete ass.

I'm all for perving, but please, perv responsibly

[Canarr]

I see it from both sides. You're right, nobody should ever talk about someone as if they were a piece of meat right there where they can hear you. It's low and crass at best, and disrepectful and downright threatening at worst. So these guys were in the wrong. No argument.

But I am guessing what bothers Canaar is what bothers me, too: The idea that if the person is attractive enough, the attention is okay. If they are not attractive, then it's creepy or smarmy. I hear that alot "A gross old guy hit on me...ew!" You'd never hear "ew" if they guy looked like, for instance, the waiter in the pub.

RK, I think I like you; that was right on, for both points. Yeah, standing within earshot and continuously talking about whatever body parts struck their fancy is rude and low - not to mention dumb. Same goes for hitting on obviously married women.

But from what I gathered from the OP, that wasn't the case; on the contrary, both men went on the defensive immediately when confronted with their actions - which tells me that they THOUGHT they were being discreet, but blew it. Not like they were leaning against the checkout station, going "Dayum - Ah'd like ta get maself some action wit' them hooters there!" in order to provoke a reaction from the cashier. In which case she'd of course been more than justified in getting security to kick them out.

And yes: I've NEVER heard a woman - or a man, for that matter - complain if the unwanted attention was from an attractive individual. A female colleague of mine - good-looking, if a bit annoying at times - will regularly show her irritation at being checked out by older colleagues, but I've yet to hear her complain about the attention of the younger, attractive guys.

@ljtetc:
As I said above, from your post it didn't sound like they were being disrespectful and rude on purpose - more like, too dumb to keep it to themselves. And what suddenly made them threatening, or potential rapists? That must've been an awfully long jump to that conclusion, there.

And while we're on the subject of jumping to conclusions: no, I do not "lack respect", but thanks for asking. I'm not in the habit of making lewd comments about women (where they can hear me...admittedly ), nor do I hit on women by using body parts in the conversation, nor do I assume that any woman wearing more revealing attire wants to be hit on. However, I am of the persuasion that any woman wearing clothing that covers less than half of their bodies gives up the right to complain when men look at her. Look, not touch.

On a sidenote, what confused me when re-reading the OP: if the setup was a normal grocery store, and the two men were standing in line, how on Earth were they able to see her butt, anyway? If your checkout stations look anything like ours here, then all you see from a cashier is head, shoulders, arms and chest. Not that it matters, I was just curious.