Monkey Business... groan

[BookBint]

This may well start a rather angry debate about how much people should be expected to know, the nature of ignorance etc etc, but here goes.

Background: part of my university degree was primatology which has left me with a lifelong love of apes and monkeys, even the ugly ones like the Proboscis Monkey (I suggest you google-image for a shock). I, like everyone else who has ever studied it, gets a real bee in their bonnet about people calling all primates 'monkeys'. For future reference, and to avoid my very large bad side, monkeys have tails, apes do not. Therefore chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas and gibbons are apes. Phew.

So, last weekend I and the BF went to a zoo which is famous for its fine primate collection. It has a few other mammals but its basically all about the monkeys and apes. This was clearly reflected in the fact that there were amusing signs all over the place saying 'Are You a Monkey or an Ape?' and explaining the difference. They even had mirrors on them so kids would get interested, go over and learn a little something, as well as consume 4lbs of sugared treats.

Anyhoo, we were looking at one of the groups of chimpanzees and were joined by a couple with their little girl, probably about 8 years old. The adults looked distinctly... well in England we say 'chav' in the US you say 'trailer trash'. The father had a mullet. Nuff said.

The girl went over to one of the 'Are You a Monkey or an Ape?' signs and read it carefully, then started watching the chimps.

D: Dad
M: Mum
G: Girl

D: What do you think about the monkeys?
G: They're not monkeys, they're apes *Bookbint gives BF a small high five*
D: Don't be stupid, they're monkeys. That one's doing a shit! *Laughs uproariously*
G: They're apes. The sign says so.
M: If your Dad says they're monkeys they're fucking monkeys.
G: But ...

She was dragged away, presumably to be given a strict dressing down for daring to learn. The BF allowed me to vent for a good seven minutes so I bought him an icecream for his trouble.

[dalesys]

Introduce her parents to the Librarian.

(Discworld, that is)


They'll be a lot smarter with their heads unscrewed.

[Magpie]

I don't care how much you should be expected to know. You should be willing to keep an open mind. Not only are they being deliberately ignorant, ("It's whatever I say it is, who gives a damn if there's more accurate information elsewhere!") but they're training their daughter to do the same. If every time she takes an interest in something she's told "that's wrong" how is she supposed to risk caring about anything later in life?

[telecom_goddess]

Glad to know the difference between monkeys and apes...didn't realize it was down to having a tail or not. So as humans are we more descended from the apes or the monkeys? I vote apes myself. And what exactly is the genetic difference between apes and monkeys?

See I want to learn l

[BookBint]

Glad to know the difference between monkeys and apes...didn't realize it was down to having a tail or not. So as humans are we more descended from the apes or the monkeys? I vote apes myself. And what exactly is the genetic difference between apes and monkeys?

See I want to learn l

modern apes and monkeys last had a common ancestor several millions years ago, 15 million years ago as I was taught, but they keep changing the date every time they find a new fossil. Therefore all all primates (including humans) evolved from a now-extinct species of monkey, which in turn evolved from a now-extinct mammal.

Humans are apes, last sharing a common ancestor with chimpanzees approximately 7 million years ago. Humans are not descended from any of the modern apes, just have a common ancestor with them. It's like a tree, with branches splitting off and each species evolving separately. If you google-image 'ape evolutionary tree' then you will see nifty diagrams. Many people think we came from chimpanzees, but they and we are the product of millions of years of separate evolution, and they are not 'less evolved' than us.

Genetically humans are approximately 96% genetically identical to even the tiniest monkey, and 99.7% identical to chimpanzees, our closest relative. Then again, we are 70% identical to a flatworm...

[thansal]

Introduce her parents to the Librarian.

(Discworld, that is)


They'll be a lot smarter with their heads unscrewed.

This. (Gave our friend a large ape stuffed animal when she got her masters in Library Science)

On the topic of parents like that, it's just distressing. As I grow up (kicking and screaming) what I realize I love the most about my parents is that they always encouraged me to learn. They never pushed X, Y or Z, they just always encouraged any fascination I had. They would listen to my horribly rambly talks about whatever current thing I was in to (something I'm seeing in my Cousins' kids now :P).

I feel for kids like that any where.

[iradney]

.
G: They're not monkeys, they're apes *Bookbint gives BF a small high five*
D: Don't be stupid, they're monkeys. That one's doing a shit! *Laughs uproariously*
G: They're apes. The sign says so.
M: If your Dad says they're monkeys they're fucking monkeys.
G: But ...
.

I can only assume he thought it was a monkey because it was taking a dump. Erego, all animals, birds, insects etc are ACTUALLY monkeys, because they all take a dump (in some form or another). Including humans....
Oooh oooh aah aah *looks for banana*

[RayvenQ]

No wonder Chimpanzee's tend to go Ape shit then (Literally)

[seigus]

I had a friend swearing baboons were apes, despite their tails. So, some research in his presence - National Geographic, encyclopedias, dictionaries, all say baboons are monkeys. My friend's response?
"They're all wrong."
He was serious.

[RayvenQ]

Well up until 2006 Pluto was a planet so...

[AnaKhouri]

I freaking HATE it when we are at the zoo or museum or aquarium and some parent tells their child something completely wrong even though there is usually a sign right in front of their face stating the correct fact.

"Look honey, a baby shark!" Um, no, that species only grows to that size. Read the damned sign.

(another pet peeve: calling all clown fish "Nemo")

[Mr Hero]

Humans are apes

That means our planet is ruled by apes! So it really WAS earth all along. Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

Also does this mean Donkey Kong is an ape, but Diddy Kong is a monkey? So the Monkey Rap should be retitled to the Ape Rap.

[Sheldonrs]

Where's a shit-throwing chimp when you need one?!!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Where's a shit-throwing chimp when you need one?!!

I'm 99.7% genetically identical to one!

[MoonCat]

modern apes and monkeys last had a common ancestor several millions years ago, 15 million years ago as I was taught, but they keep changing the date every time they find a new fossil. Therefore all all primates (including humans) evolved from a now-extinct species of monkey, which in turn evolved from a now-extinct mammal.

Humans are apes, last sharing a common ancestor with chimpanzees approximately 7 million years ago. Humans are not descended from any of the modern apes, just have a common ancestor with them. It's like a tree, with branches splitting off and each species evolving separately. If you google-image 'ape evolutionary tree' then you will see nifty diagrams. Many people think we came from chimpanzees, but they and we are the product of millions of years of separate evolution, and they are not 'less evolved' than us.

Genetically humans are approximately 96% genetically identical to even the tiniest monkey, and 99.7% identical to chimpanzees, our closest relative. Then again, we are 70% identical to a flatworm...

Thank you for this. A lovely and very succinct explanation. Too bad you can't mail a copy to that parent, but then he probably doesn't read anything that doesn't start with "tear here..."