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My Dad. The SC buster :D (LOOOOONG)

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  • My Dad. The SC buster :D (LOOOOONG)

    o, reading an old thread of Mongo's, reminded me of some stories dad told me from his job, SC's and Co-irkers in them.

    Background - Dad is a tour bus driver. You come to NZ from overseas, spend three weeks being driven around by him, and visit all the nice touristy spots.

    Also, dad is not always the most diplomatic person. I know where I get it from.

    Story the first - Dad owns power tripping cop

    Dad had a tour onboard, bags and all, and had brought a new weight limit sticker (19 ton, to replace the 18 ton, basically saying "This bus is allowed to be upto this weight, and has payed for it"). Half an hour out of the town this was brought in he had to go through a weighbridge (They are run by Police, you HAVE to stop at them if your a truck/bus/land based ufo) and ofcourse the new sticker was not in the system.

    The cop strolled out, informed Dad he was over the 18t limit, and had to drop 12 passengers here and now.

    Thats right, 12 people from overseas, no idea where they are, and OUT OF TOWN. Dad informed the cop, this was not happening (although he did say they could help the cop eat his doughnuts). He asked about the 500kg tolerance for the limit to which the cop replied "Thats at my discretion". Dad compromised and would leave a 'bin' of bags behind, with the TD to watch them as the cop also said "I'm not looking after them, not my problem, can't leave them here".

    The cop told dad to drive to the nearest cafe/town further down the road, and leave them there. Dad, rather annoyed at the cop by now, asked how he could do this, if he wasn't allowed on the road over the limit. Cop said he would escort dad there.

    D = Dad
    C = Cop

    D - "If I called you a pr$$k, would you arrest me?"
    C = "I would be well within my rights sir, yes I would." (And no, he wasn't in his rights, I checked)
    D - "What if I thought you were a pr$$k?"
    C = "I can't arrest you for what you think sir."
    D - "Alright, well I think your a prick"

    Apparently the cop turned an interesting shade of red. When they got to the cafe, the cop sat in his car and watched as dad, the TD (A woman) and a girl from the cafe unloaded these bags. Not fun, considering thats almost half the 40 people, 20KG max, luggage.

    More stories to come.
    "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
    Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

  • #2
    Stories 2 through 4.

    Story the second - Dad owns uppity co-worker

    This time in OZ, dad had been putting up with a NEW co-irker, who had been going on about how they knew it all, and this and that and we all know the type.
    On this particular tour, they were at the same campsite (crossed routes) and the CW had dad against a bus, giving his usual speil (inclding swearing), when he started poking Dad in the chest. This, you do not do. Dad 'delicately and polite placed' CW on his back, on the ground, and 'politely informed him' not to come near Dad again.*

    *I find this description funny, I know it would have been the total opposite, and Dad is only slightly shorter than me (I'm 6"2', built like a brick sh$t house).

    Story the third - Dad owns out of order boss

    This one was at Dad's stag-do (Yes, alcohol involved in both people) when he got re-married. Dads MANAGER had been on his rant about "I've been in transport all my life" and was poking dad in the chest. Dad (he has witnesses, but even dad doesn't beleive it) actually politely asked M to stop, when M slapped dad on the cheek (not hard, but again, way out of line, and its almost a trigger effect on Dad).

    Dad picked M up and bodily threw him. M landed in a garden and cracked a rib or two.

    The funny, M was Dad's MC at the wedding THE NEXT DAY, still went through with it, but couldn't laugh. (Dad and M at this time, were the kind of friends who would have an arguement, and then be fine immediately after. Also as work wasn't involved no real fall out for dad).

    Story the fourth - Dad owns random Sucky non-customer.

    Back in NZ now. Dad was driving a school group for the day, and had arrived at the pool to find people parked in the bus stop/park. The only other option for dropping these kids off was across a busy intersection, so ofcourse Dad wasn't going to do that. While he double parked (blocking only the people in the bus stop, not the lane he was in) one of the drivers came out, and immediately went off at Dad, demanding he move and let him out.

    D - "I will, as soon as they've finished getting off"
    SNC - "Their only f*cking Maori's" *(For those overseas, he's essentially said "Their only f*cking n**gers)
    D notices the parents have heard this, and are ofcourse none to happy.
    D - "Look mate. Shut up and get in your car, I'll be moving soon."
    SNC - "WHAT? I'll have your job. BLARGH honk honk. I'm writing to your company about you."

    SNC sees the "*Company holdings, *town" on the side of the bus. Little does he know, this is a depot for storing the buses. They will have NO IDEA who Dad is."

    SNC - "Whats your name?!"
    D - "Donald" - NB - Not dads name, but exactly what Dad said.
    SNC - "Whats your last name?!"
    D - "Duck."
    SNC - Cue rage filled rant.

    One more to come.
    "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
    Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

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    • #3
      Story the fifth - Dad owns sucky army recruit.

      This was back when Dad was in the air force. Hence, tall, solid, and even fitter.
      The base dad was based at as a driver had a long straight road after the entrance gate, then intersections etc. Dad was driving back into base when a Base Ambulance came screaming around the corner and up the straight towards the gate (Think - barrier arm). Dad hops on the radio

      D - "Ambulance 2-6, your lights aren't on. Turn them on."
      BA - ....no response.
      D - "I say again, Ambulance 2-6, your lights aren't on. Turn them on."
      BA - .... no response.
      Base Commander (on radio) - "SCREW THE F*CKING LIGHTS, ITS STOLEN."

      The MP's had older Range Rovers at this time, so wouldn't be catching the ambulance just yet. Dad does a 180 to tail the ambulance, as the story is revealed thusly - A army recruit had been at the base bar drinking, but was based at the other base across town. He'd missed the last bus and didn't want to walk, so decided to take the ambulance. The ambulance ofcourse had its keys ready, incase of emergency.

      Dad tailed the BA to the other base, through the other base to the barracks. As it pulled up, dad pulled around the side of it and 'caught' the AR on the hood (ie stopped with the guy spread eagled on his bonnet it was that close). The MP's arrived to find dad sitting on the AR.

      MP - "We'll take him from here."
      D - "I want him for five more minutes, he broke my headlight."

      Story the final - Dad gets banned from certain tours

      Tour Bus again. Dad was driving an Asian group.

      **NB - This is only about this group and is not about Asian in general, the race plays a factor.**

      Dad pulled up at the stop for this particular attraction, and had already been dealing with the attitude of "Your a bus driver, hired help." all tour. He hopped off the bus, turned to offer a hand for the older lady disembarking, and without even looking at him, she shooed him away with the attitude of "how dare you come near me".

      That was it, once they were back on the bus. Dad explained (and I know he wouldn't have sworn screamed etc, but wouldn't have been friendly about it) that this was NZ, he was not below them in anyway, and their attitude was in dire need of changing.

      Dad is no longer allowed to drive that companies product, but he also didn't get in trouble.
      Last edited by ApolloSZ; 11-15-2010, 11:26 PM.
      "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
      Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

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      • #4
        Your dad is awesome!
        I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
        Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
        Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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        • #5
          Agreed, your Dad is pretty awesome.
          I'm the 5th horsemen of the apocalypse. Bringer of giggly bouncy doom, they don't talk about me much.

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          • #6
            I like your dad! But wow, he really seems to attract inappropriate touching!
            Steven Slater ROCKS! So does James Jones!

            The world is an asshole contest...and EVERYONE'S A WINNER!

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            • #7
              Can I have your dad as my dad? Seriously, he is AWESOME!
              Look, a signature!

              If every cashier in the world went on strike, retail would come to a screeching halt, even if for a couple hours.

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              • #8
                SNC - "Whats your name?!"
                D - "Donald" - NB - Not dads name, but exactly what Dad said.
                SNC - "Whats your last name?!"
                D - "Duck."
                SNC - Cue rage filled rant.
                I love it.

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                • #9
                  yes, i want to be his kid too.

                  SNC - "Their only f*cking Maori's" *(For those overseas, he's essentially said "Their only f*cking n**gers)
                  as if the slur wasn't bad enough, he insults people who are bigger than he is? why not tackle a samoan? the stupid was interstellar strength there...
                  look! it's ghengis khan!
                  Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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                  • #10
                    Quoth ApolloSZ View Post
                    As it pulled up, dad pulled around the side of it and 'caught' the AR on the hood (ie stopped with the guy spread eagled on his bonnet it was that close). The MP's arrived to find dad sitting on the AR.

                    MP - "We'll take him from here."
                    D - "I want him for five more minutes, he broke my headlight
                    I was snickering along, enjoying tales of your dad, when I ended up howling at this one. My mum's dad did that in WW2, when he pinned a sadistic sergeant against a wall with his truck, hopped out, locked it up & threw the keys in the river!
                    "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                    Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                    The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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                    • #11
                      Great stories.

                      I also think it's hilarious that the "cop/donut" thing is known in NZ! I thought that was just here (US).
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                      • #12
                        No, y'all can't have him, hes my dad :P

                        Mooncat - Yeah, we do know some stuff from the wide world :P Little NZ isn't completely out of the loop (I am joking here )

                        Dad only used that line because the cop was on a power trip. If I remember anymore (especially from the latest tours) I'll post them up too. They dont' really use the web, so wouldn't visit here to post themselves.
                        "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
                        Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

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                        • #13
                          Quoth ApolloSZ View Post
                          No, y'all can't have him, hes my dad :P
                          Chill, honey. Nobody wants to take him away from YOU, we all just would like to be adopted by him. How'd you like a couple dozen new siblings?
                          What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

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                          • #14
                            yes, i've always wanted a dad that would scare the living schiesse out of anyone who messed with me, for the cases when my own self isn't deterrent enough.
                            look! it's ghengis khan!
                            Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              mharbor - I'll take it into consideration.... What are yall's qualifications for this position of sibling?

                              Chained - Yes. Dad is awesomely super at *does 'quote' finger move* "informing" *does 'quote' finger move again* someone when they are terribly misguided (and they're being an ass about it). Not to mention, like me, he likes playing pranks.

                              My dad is a bad influence on me. And I like it that way
                              "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
                              Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

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