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EVER.
Ok. As some may or may not know I am in Security. So when I WANT to, I notice things a lot of people might miss. Of course I can also be blissfully unaware if I want, but then I wouldn't have this story to tell.
Often when I go shopping I am near on autopilot. I want to get in, get done, and get out as quickly as possible. However, not this time. I went after some cold/flu stuff because I was feeling a bit bleh. However, I was in a good mood.
I went to Krogers this time, because I really really wanted to avoid the abyss...I mean Wally World.
Since I was sick (ish) I decided to treat myself to some Eggnog. This is important to note. The milk (and thus eggnog) is in the back, and past the Alcohol. As I pass said Alcohol I see somebody sneaking some into their pants (really? Does that EVER really work? Really?). Now my Security training kicks in. As loud as I can I say "HEY!" (I will note I am wearing my Security Jacket cause it is kinda cool outside). They jump and turn around and take off running.
Right into an actual Deputy (This Krogers has off duty Deputy's and such as it's security). When I say right into, I mean RIGHT into. Both go tumbling. Now I know better then to touch the guy, but I quickly help the Deputy up). The alcohol goes spilling out of it's hiding place, and the Deputy (who CAN touch the guy) grabs the guy and subdues him. That was when things get .. surreal.
D - Deputy
SC - Thief
M - Me
SC - Hey! That guy was acting like a cop! That is illegal!
M - *looks at the jacket with the big word SECURITY across it and laughs* All I said was 'Hey'.
SC - No, you said "Freeze Police!" and tried to tackle me! I will SUE you!
D - *looks at the guy like he is nuts, then looks at me* What happened?
So I explain exactly what happened.
SC - He is making that up! I want him arrested for impersonating an officer! I'm going to sue him for everything he has for trying to tackle me!
M - You do realize that everything is on camera right?
SC - *Starts to realize that he is not going to win this one, but can't let it go*
If they don't let me go, and try to use some sort of trick photography I will sue them AND you.
D - They are reviewing the tape now. *Looks at me* Will you agree to testify if it is needed?
M - Absolutely.
Takes my information down.
SC - You all are not going to get away with this! I have rights! You pushed me into him! *points to Deputy*
D - I thought you said he tried to tackle you, and I was there .. I know for a fact he never touched you when we collided.
SC - You are in on it with him! I'll sue both of you!
I just laughed as I walked away as he was ranting. Don't know what happened, he was gone when I got done.
Anyhow, go to get my nummy eggnog and medicine. Feeling pretty good (well for being sick at least hehe).. get through the line no problem. It is all good.
On the way out I notice a mother dragging her kid by the kids arm, the kid kicking and screaming and pretty much raising a fuss.
K - Kid
P - Parent
K - But you promisssseeedd!
P - Yes, until you were rude to the cashier. You don't get rewards when you act up.
K - I don't caaaarrrreee you promissseedd
P - You will care. We don't play these games and you know it.
Which I had to smile at. That part wasn't sucky.
The next part was though.
Got to my vehicle, got ready to pull out. Idiot stops right behind me, and seems to be waiting for my space. Hello? How in the blue hades am I supposed to get out if you are RIGHT behind me?
I motion for them to back up so I can let them have the place..they beep their horn. Like an idiot I roll down my window and the following conversation takes place.
I - Idiot
M - Me
I - "Are you going to move?!"
M - "Not unless you want me to go THROUGH your car"
I - "I'm waiting on your parking space."
M - "Dude, you are RIGHT behind me, there are cars all around me, how the heck am I supposed to MOVE?"
I - "Move your <expletive> car so I can have your spot!"
Rinse, repeat for about 15 minutes. The car in front of me pulls out, and has nobody waiting for it, so I pull up and go that way. Still have NO clue what the idiots problem was. Sorry I have yet to perfect my teleportation skills.
Ok. As some may or may not know I am in Security. So when I WANT to, I notice things a lot of people might miss. Of course I can also be blissfully unaware if I want, but then I wouldn't have this story to tell.
Often when I go shopping I am near on autopilot. I want to get in, get done, and get out as quickly as possible. However, not this time. I went after some cold/flu stuff because I was feeling a bit bleh. However, I was in a good mood.
I went to Krogers this time, because I really really wanted to avoid the abyss...I mean Wally World.
Since I was sick (ish) I decided to treat myself to some Eggnog. This is important to note. The milk (and thus eggnog) is in the back, and past the Alcohol. As I pass said Alcohol I see somebody sneaking some into their pants (really? Does that EVER really work? Really?). Now my Security training kicks in. As loud as I can I say "HEY!" (I will note I am wearing my Security Jacket cause it is kinda cool outside). They jump and turn around and take off running.
Right into an actual Deputy (This Krogers has off duty Deputy's and such as it's security). When I say right into, I mean RIGHT into. Both go tumbling. Now I know better then to touch the guy, but I quickly help the Deputy up). The alcohol goes spilling out of it's hiding place, and the Deputy (who CAN touch the guy) grabs the guy and subdues him. That was when things get .. surreal.
D - Deputy
SC - Thief
M - Me
SC - Hey! That guy was acting like a cop! That is illegal!
M - *looks at the jacket with the big word SECURITY across it and laughs* All I said was 'Hey'.
SC - No, you said "Freeze Police!" and tried to tackle me! I will SUE you!
D - *looks at the guy like he is nuts, then looks at me* What happened?
So I explain exactly what happened.
SC - He is making that up! I want him arrested for impersonating an officer! I'm going to sue him for everything he has for trying to tackle me!
M - You do realize that everything is on camera right?
SC - *Starts to realize that he is not going to win this one, but can't let it go*
If they don't let me go, and try to use some sort of trick photography I will sue them AND you.
D - They are reviewing the tape now. *Looks at me* Will you agree to testify if it is needed?
M - Absolutely.
Takes my information down.
SC - You all are not going to get away with this! I have rights! You pushed me into him! *points to Deputy*
D - I thought you said he tried to tackle you, and I was there .. I know for a fact he never touched you when we collided.
SC - You are in on it with him! I'll sue both of you!
I just laughed as I walked away as he was ranting. Don't know what happened, he was gone when I got done.
Anyhow, go to get my nummy eggnog and medicine. Feeling pretty good (well for being sick at least hehe).. get through the line no problem. It is all good.
On the way out I notice a mother dragging her kid by the kids arm, the kid kicking and screaming and pretty much raising a fuss.
K - Kid
P - Parent
K - But you promisssseeedd!
P - Yes, until you were rude to the cashier. You don't get rewards when you act up.
K - I don't caaaarrrreee you promissseedd
P - You will care. We don't play these games and you know it.
Which I had to smile at. That part wasn't sucky.
The next part was though.
Got to my vehicle, got ready to pull out. Idiot stops right behind me, and seems to be waiting for my space. Hello? How in the blue hades am I supposed to get out if you are RIGHT behind me?
I motion for them to back up so I can let them have the place..they beep their horn. Like an idiot I roll down my window and the following conversation takes place.
I - Idiot
M - Me
I - "Are you going to move?!"
M - "Not unless you want me to go THROUGH your car"
I - "I'm waiting on your parking space."
M - "Dude, you are RIGHT behind me, there are cars all around me, how the heck am I supposed to MOVE?"
I - "Move your <expletive> car so I can have your spot!"
Rinse, repeat for about 15 minutes. The car in front of me pulls out, and has nobody waiting for it, so I pull up and go that way. Still have NO clue what the idiots problem was. Sorry I have yet to perfect my teleportation skills.
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