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So, I decided to share a few tales that occurred within the last week. I haven’t really gone on an actual grocery shopping trip, but had to make a few stops at various places for various reasons.
Just another manic Monday…
Monday, I needed 4 things from a store, and it had been a long, horrendous day at work. So the intention was to get in, get out and try to avoid stupidity and insanity. I was messaging back and forth with KiaKat, who was cheering me on in this venture. I get off the bus, get in, grab what I need and head out and ACTUALLY make it all the way to the checkout without any craziness! Oh, happy day!!
Now, I usually hit the SCO at the store, but the express lane had no one inline, and I had 4 items. So I decide what the hell? I head over and put my stuff on the belt. The cashier is standing there, with a handful of $5 bills. At first I thought she was counting them, but she was actually turning them so they all faced in the same direction. Now, having a bit of OCD myself, I see no problem with this so I wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
The cashier glanced up at me, and then went back to her bills, and didn’t even acknowledge me. So, what to do?
I started humming the Jeopardy theme song…
She finally looks up, glares at me and slams her till shut. She rings up my stuff, bags it, and I pay. I wait for her to hand me my receipt, and I wait until she looks at me. She makes eye contact, still looking cranky and I simply grin at her and say “llama llama DUCK!”
…
She starts snickering. I smile and basically tell her that I know how much life can suck, but I hoped her night went better, and went on my merry way. The wtf look on her face was priceless. On my way out of the store, I stopped by the Starbucks in store, I noticed one of the Barista Girls was one I regularly saw when I visited, so I thought I’d stop and say hi. Big mistake. There was an Old Woman there, pitching a bitch fit for some reason. I don’t know, I came in on the tail end of it. And what I saw? Oh geez…
OW: rabblerabblerantrantrantbitchbitchbwhiiiiineee!!
BG: well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but all I can do is—
OW: RantrantrantUNACCEPTABLErantrantrant
BG: <finally snaps> What more do you WANT!?!
OW: <gapes> you can’t talk to me like that! I’m 63 years old and—
Me: Then stop acting like your SIX!!
OW turns at GLARES at me. I stare back at her. I’m silently daring her to bring it. Come on, lady, bring it!!
And she turns on her heels and stomps away. Aw…she didn’t bring it, she took it. Boo.
I turn back to say hi to the barista, and we chit chat back and forth. I apologize, and she hands me a cup. It’s a soy chai (what I usually order). I apologize again and tell her I wasn’t there to order anything, I was just saying hi, but she insists it’s on the house, as she’d been contemplating dunking OW in a coffee urn. And then she told me the entire story.
One of the new holiday drinks Starbucks has this year is a caramel brulee latte. This comes with crystal sugar bits sprinkled on top of the whipped cream. Apparently, this store had run out of the sugar bits, committing an obscene violation! OW was livid that she was bit-less. Also, as was pointed out by one of the mods, Starbucks was offering a special this weekend. Between 2pm and 5pm it was BOGO holiday drinks free. Holiday special drinks only. Well, the last day for that was Sunday. This incident occurred on MONDAY. OW was livid that she couldn’t get a free coffee. Not a holiday drink, mind you, a different coffee drink, I don’t even know what.
BG had offered OW, for the “inconvenience” of no sugar bits, to charge her venti drinks at a tall price. That’s a pretty sweet deal, but it was not good enough. OW was going off on her, and that’s what I’d walked in on. OW had been there for almost TEN MINUTES throwing her fit.
Thus, I got free tea!
Wednesday Morning 3 am
Ok, not 3 am, but sure felt like it!
I stopped at McDonald’s on Wednesday morning because I forgot my tea. Sadness. I stopped for an iced coffee, since it’s decent at McDonald’s. I order and it’s kind of busy, so I stand at the counter and wait. And then I get the sensation someone is behind me. You know what I’m talking about? And it’s coming closer. And closer. And then a voice, right in my ear
“Don’t anyone work here?”
I jump, and make a weird noise. I got to turn around—and I can’t. There’s a woman standing SO close behind me, she’s essentially got me pinned to the counter. And she’s ranting about people not working the counter, and where are the employees, she wants her damn biscuits!
I tell her that there are people working there, they’re just getting other orders together. She steps CLOSER, and I start to panic a little. (I do not react well to people forcing their way into my bubble!!) I push back and twist off to the side, away from “she who has no concept of personal space”. She steps up to the counter and continues her diatribe about biscuits and no employees and I don’t know, and she’s just staring at me the entire time. Heebie jeebies!
Employee comes and hands me my coffee and goes to take the woman’s order. I’m grabbing a straw and heading out when I hear her raise her voice:
“And you really SHOULD start telling people not to be so RUDE when others ask a simple question!”
Yep. She’s staring at me, still, and expecting the employee to lecture me for not wanting her wrapped around me like a coat that’s 2 sizes too small.
I shake my head, plunk the straw in my drink and take my trash to the garbage can, and the crazy lady is looking like she’s coming towards me again! What the hell!?!
“Hey, you!”
I blurt out “I am not your Siamese twin!”
And take off.
And that was BEFORE work. I had the feeling it was going to be a looooonnng day…
Wednesday WEEK
Work was rather…interesting shall we say, and I ended up going home exhausted. I also had a headache start. Usually, I’ll just lie down for a while, hope it goes away, and worst case scenario, take an Excedrin. Well, after lying down for an hour with no change, I went to take an Excedrin.
Only to find I’d run out. Sad!
So, I head out, walking to the only store up the street from me, grumbling the whole time. It’s dark and windy, and my head is pounding. I grab what I need and immediately head to the checkouts. It’s crazy packed because people are doing last minute shopping for Thanksgiving. I managed to eke into the express lane with my bottle of Excedrin and a bottle of pepsi. (with which to take the Excedrin, once it’s paid for!) I’m in line behind this old man, who’s had all of his purchases rung up – and he’s WAY over the 10 item limit! But that’s beside the point – he gets told his total and goes to swipe his card.
And nothing happens.
He glares at the cashier and tells him his machine is broken, he needs to fix it. Following conversation ensues:
OM: Your machine isn’t working, fix it!
C: Sir, what’s the message on the screen?
OM: I swiped my card, but it’s not working. Fix it!
C: Sir, I’m trying to determine what the problem is, exactly.
OM: FIX IT!
C: What. Does. The. Screen. Say??
OM: Don’t be rude! It’s saying swipe again!
C:…then, sir. You need to swipe the card again.
OM: But I already swiped it. Why do I have to swipe again!?
C: What does the machine say?
OM: Card Read Error. Please swipe card again.
C: then it had a problem reading your card, and you need to—
OM: I HAVE MONEY!!!
C: I’m not saying you don’t, sir, but you need to swipe your card again because it didn’t read the first time and—
OM: I ALREADY SWIPED MY CARD!!
Me: (wincing in pain because of the loud and the ow!!)
C: Sir, if you’ll just
OM: I’m not swiping again, why won’t it take my card!?
Me: <finally snaps> Because, you finished so quickly, you went faster than the machine and it needs to verify your card again to make sure no one is trying to steal your identity!!
C: <Gives me a wtf look>
OM: ooohhh. <glares at the cashier> Was THAT so hard to admit?!?!
C: …..
OM: <swipes his card again, completes his transaction and leaves, but turns to me> Thanks for explaining, it makes more sense when people take a minute to explain.
Me: <grumbles after him> only because telling you the fucking truth is far too complicated for your split pea sized brain…
C: <as he rings up my bottle of Excedrin> What just happened?
Me: Customers suck. Dot com. <I pay, and while my receipt prints, I open the bottle and take 3 excedrin.> look it up sometime. You seem like you need it…
And I got to walk home in the dark and the wind and the ow, head again. Buh..
The end. For now…
Just another manic Monday…
Monday, I needed 4 things from a store, and it had been a long, horrendous day at work. So the intention was to get in, get out and try to avoid stupidity and insanity. I was messaging back and forth with KiaKat, who was cheering me on in this venture. I get off the bus, get in, grab what I need and head out and ACTUALLY make it all the way to the checkout without any craziness! Oh, happy day!!
Now, I usually hit the SCO at the store, but the express lane had no one inline, and I had 4 items. So I decide what the hell? I head over and put my stuff on the belt. The cashier is standing there, with a handful of $5 bills. At first I thought she was counting them, but she was actually turning them so they all faced in the same direction. Now, having a bit of OCD myself, I see no problem with this so I wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
The cashier glanced up at me, and then went back to her bills, and didn’t even acknowledge me. So, what to do?
I started humming the Jeopardy theme song…
She finally looks up, glares at me and slams her till shut. She rings up my stuff, bags it, and I pay. I wait for her to hand me my receipt, and I wait until she looks at me. She makes eye contact, still looking cranky and I simply grin at her and say “llama llama DUCK!”
…
She starts snickering. I smile and basically tell her that I know how much life can suck, but I hoped her night went better, and went on my merry way. The wtf look on her face was priceless. On my way out of the store, I stopped by the Starbucks in store, I noticed one of the Barista Girls was one I regularly saw when I visited, so I thought I’d stop and say hi. Big mistake. There was an Old Woman there, pitching a bitch fit for some reason. I don’t know, I came in on the tail end of it. And what I saw? Oh geez…
OW: rabblerabblerantrantrantbitchbitchbwhiiiiineee!!
BG: well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but all I can do is—
OW: RantrantrantUNACCEPTABLErantrantrant
BG: <finally snaps> What more do you WANT!?!
OW: <gapes> you can’t talk to me like that! I’m 63 years old and—
Me: Then stop acting like your SIX!!
OW turns at GLARES at me. I stare back at her. I’m silently daring her to bring it. Come on, lady, bring it!!
And she turns on her heels and stomps away. Aw…she didn’t bring it, she took it. Boo.
I turn back to say hi to the barista, and we chit chat back and forth. I apologize, and she hands me a cup. It’s a soy chai (what I usually order). I apologize again and tell her I wasn’t there to order anything, I was just saying hi, but she insists it’s on the house, as she’d been contemplating dunking OW in a coffee urn. And then she told me the entire story.
One of the new holiday drinks Starbucks has this year is a caramel brulee latte. This comes with crystal sugar bits sprinkled on top of the whipped cream. Apparently, this store had run out of the sugar bits, committing an obscene violation! OW was livid that she was bit-less. Also, as was pointed out by one of the mods, Starbucks was offering a special this weekend. Between 2pm and 5pm it was BOGO holiday drinks free. Holiday special drinks only. Well, the last day for that was Sunday. This incident occurred on MONDAY. OW was livid that she couldn’t get a free coffee. Not a holiday drink, mind you, a different coffee drink, I don’t even know what.
BG had offered OW, for the “inconvenience” of no sugar bits, to charge her venti drinks at a tall price. That’s a pretty sweet deal, but it was not good enough. OW was going off on her, and that’s what I’d walked in on. OW had been there for almost TEN MINUTES throwing her fit.
Thus, I got free tea!
Wednesday Morning 3 am
Ok, not 3 am, but sure felt like it!
I stopped at McDonald’s on Wednesday morning because I forgot my tea. Sadness. I stopped for an iced coffee, since it’s decent at McDonald’s. I order and it’s kind of busy, so I stand at the counter and wait. And then I get the sensation someone is behind me. You know what I’m talking about? And it’s coming closer. And closer. And then a voice, right in my ear
“Don’t anyone work here?”
I jump, and make a weird noise. I got to turn around—and I can’t. There’s a woman standing SO close behind me, she’s essentially got me pinned to the counter. And she’s ranting about people not working the counter, and where are the employees, she wants her damn biscuits!
I tell her that there are people working there, they’re just getting other orders together. She steps CLOSER, and I start to panic a little. (I do not react well to people forcing their way into my bubble!!) I push back and twist off to the side, away from “she who has no concept of personal space”. She steps up to the counter and continues her diatribe about biscuits and no employees and I don’t know, and she’s just staring at me the entire time. Heebie jeebies!
Employee comes and hands me my coffee and goes to take the woman’s order. I’m grabbing a straw and heading out when I hear her raise her voice:
“And you really SHOULD start telling people not to be so RUDE when others ask a simple question!”
Yep. She’s staring at me, still, and expecting the employee to lecture me for not wanting her wrapped around me like a coat that’s 2 sizes too small.
I shake my head, plunk the straw in my drink and take my trash to the garbage can, and the crazy lady is looking like she’s coming towards me again! What the hell!?!
“Hey, you!”
I blurt out “I am not your Siamese twin!”
And take off.
And that was BEFORE work. I had the feeling it was going to be a looooonnng day…
Wednesday WEEK
Work was rather…interesting shall we say, and I ended up going home exhausted. I also had a headache start. Usually, I’ll just lie down for a while, hope it goes away, and worst case scenario, take an Excedrin. Well, after lying down for an hour with no change, I went to take an Excedrin.
Only to find I’d run out. Sad!
So, I head out, walking to the only store up the street from me, grumbling the whole time. It’s dark and windy, and my head is pounding. I grab what I need and immediately head to the checkouts. It’s crazy packed because people are doing last minute shopping for Thanksgiving. I managed to eke into the express lane with my bottle of Excedrin and a bottle of pepsi. (with which to take the Excedrin, once it’s paid for!) I’m in line behind this old man, who’s had all of his purchases rung up – and he’s WAY over the 10 item limit! But that’s beside the point – he gets told his total and goes to swipe his card.
And nothing happens.
He glares at the cashier and tells him his machine is broken, he needs to fix it. Following conversation ensues:
OM: Your machine isn’t working, fix it!
C: Sir, what’s the message on the screen?
OM: I swiped my card, but it’s not working. Fix it!
C: Sir, I’m trying to determine what the problem is, exactly.
OM: FIX IT!
C: What. Does. The. Screen. Say??
OM: Don’t be rude! It’s saying swipe again!
C:…then, sir. You need to swipe the card again.
OM: But I already swiped it. Why do I have to swipe again!?
C: What does the machine say?
OM: Card Read Error. Please swipe card again.
C: then it had a problem reading your card, and you need to—
OM: I HAVE MONEY!!!
C: I’m not saying you don’t, sir, but you need to swipe your card again because it didn’t read the first time and—
OM: I ALREADY SWIPED MY CARD!!
Me: (wincing in pain because of the loud and the ow!!)
C: Sir, if you’ll just
OM: I’m not swiping again, why won’t it take my card!?
Me: <finally snaps> Because, you finished so quickly, you went faster than the machine and it needs to verify your card again to make sure no one is trying to steal your identity!!
C: <Gives me a wtf look>
OM: ooohhh. <glares at the cashier> Was THAT so hard to admit?!?!
C: …..
OM: <swipes his card again, completes his transaction and leaves, but turns to me> Thanks for explaining, it makes more sense when people take a minute to explain.
Me: <grumbles after him> only because telling you the fucking truth is far too complicated for your split pea sized brain…
C: <as he rings up my bottle of Excedrin> What just happened?
Me: Customers suck. Dot com. <I pay, and while my receipt prints, I open the bottle and take 3 excedrin.> look it up sometime. You seem like you need it…
And I got to walk home in the dark and the wind and the ow, head again. Buh..
The end. For now…
, and congrats on the free tea. All that over some crystal sugar? Some people. As for the personal space violator *shivers*. Sometimes my friends and family can't intrude on my personal space without me going bananas. 
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