A sign I saw on a door for door to door people

[Crime Scene Scarf]

The last few solicitors I've encountered were all of the religious sort. My approach was polite, but very firm.

"Hello, and no. Don't even bother."

Only once did someone try to probe me, asking if I had my own religion. I let it slip that I was an atheist, which strangely enough got rid of them.

But there was one time that really had me flummoxed, when a small boy of maybe 4-5 years came to my door. He asked if I was concerned about the world. I asked him in what way? Environment? Politics? Kid repeated his question as he was no doubt coached, then started reading passages out of his holy book. At which point I tuned him out, I'm not going to be impressed by scripture no matter who reads it. But even I, the hardened misanthropic cynic that I am, couldn't bring myself to shut the kid down. Kid was accompanied by an adult, a lady with a creepy grin right out of the Stepford Wives.

Don't recall exactly how that ended, likely with a polite refusal from me. That was the only time I've been completely blindsided by a solicitor.

I'd have no problem telling the kid to fuck right off. The bonus of there being a kid is that all you have to do is start swearing. If you can eff and blind with the best of them, the kid will get dragged away with hands over their ears, and you'll never get bothered again.

Why yes, I might be speaking from experience.

[AyreBiskits]

ya know, i've got a lightsabre (it really lights up, doesn't make sounds but it's cool!) and a couple of stormtrooper helmets. if i put one on when they knock on my door, do you think i could tempt them to join the dark side? i could offer them some cookies

[protege]

if i put one on when they knock on my door, do you think i could tempt them to join the dark side? i could offer them some cookies

Nah, I'd be tempted to use the Jedi mind trick on them. "You don't need to sell me anything. I'm not the customer you're looking for. Good day." etc.

Seriously though, if someone prevented me from closing my front door...there would be problems. That is, I'd assume they were there to rob the place, and I'd uh, take care of things.

[Nayeli_Sabia]

My mom had someone trying to push his way into the apartment once. She was blocking him, and scolding me(5 or 6 years old at the time) to go in the other room. He said to her "Are you afraid that she'll hear what I have to say?" Her response was "Yes, now go away."

I think he caught her as we were getting home from somewhere. It was weird, but I know he left.



Grown and married, in my own apartment. Door to Door knockers are deeply frowned on in a military town during wartime, when our friends/spouses are deployed. I only had one knocker, a Kirby cleaning guy. He offered to clean a spot. I let him clean the spot where my husband spilled boot black. Wouldn't you know, it didn't quite get it out.

I've also seen women freak out at people ignoring the "Do Not Knock" sign because they had a deployed spouse, and thought that it was a "Bad News" knock.

I freaked out at my brother in law, I didn't recognise him because he was on his way home from work, wearing his security uniform (dropped by unannounced while my husband was overseas). He's retired Army, he should have known better.

[ZedOmega]

Oddly enough, we don't get that many door-to-door people on our doorstep. They seem to avoid this neighborhood for some reason, and according to the GF, it's been like that since long before I moved in with her.

I do remember one incident with a Jehovah's Witness, though. I'd already opened up a browser window, and saw them walking towards the front gate through the window. She stopped me from loading up the one song I thought would scare them away for good. (I listen to weird shit; why not put it to good use?)

[shadowpanda]

She stopped me from loading up the one song I thought would scare them away for good.

Dammit!

I'm at work, the link wouldn't open as it was blocked by Websense for being 'Illegal or Questionable'!

What song is it? I can wait until I get home to find out, I'm just curious

[Mikkel]

]the one song I thought would scare them away for good.[/url] (I listen to weird shit; why not put it to good use?)

Would it work if the Witness didn't understand German?

[ZedOmega]

Dammit!

I'm at work, the link wouldn't open as it was blocked by Websense for being 'Illegal or Questionable'!

What song is it? I can wait until I get home to find out, I'm just curious

'Satanas' by Samsas Traum. The lyrics are written to sound like a summoning ritual.

Would it work if the Witness didn't understand German?

Maybe. The instrumentals may work by themselves, I think.

[Mikkel]

Maybe. The instrumentals may work by themselves, I think.

Could be, the repeated shouting of Satanas will help too. I like it, I think I'll buy the Tineoidea album. I hadn't heard of Samsas Traum before.

[Andara Bledin]

Could be, the repeated shouting of Satanas will help too. I like it, I think I'll buy the Tineoidea album. I hadn't heard of Samsas Traum before.

That and Die Eier von Satan back to back would be good, right?

Nobody has to know it's just a cookie recipe.

^-.-^

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That and Die Eier von Satan back to back would be good, right?

Nobody has to know it's just a cookie recipe.

^-.-^

UND KEINE EIER!

[Frantic Freddie]

Back when I didn't get to bed 'til 3-4 am someone knocked on the door at about 9 am.I'm groggy & a little hungover,shoulda just stayed in bed.But no,for some reason I get up,throw on a pair of cutoffs & answer the door.

It's the JWs.

Now I'm a tolerant fellow & don't like to be rude,I'd normally just tell 'em to have a nice day & close the door.Not that day.

My eyes widened in shock & horror "AAAAHHHHH!!! CHRISTIANS!!!!" I half-yelled,then slammed the door shut & threw the bolt.

Then I went back to bed.To this day I have no idea why I did that.

[raw456]

The hubby and I had some problems with one of the local phone companies constantly calling and coming to the door. We registered with the Do Not Call list to stop the phone calls, but they kept turning up at the door 2-3 times a week. In the end I called them and said I would file a harrasment suit if they came to the door again.

My usuall response to any door-to-door knockers is:

What are you selling? (so I know who to lodge a complaint with if they dont leave)

Followed by:

No, thank you, not interested, Goodbye

At this point I close the door and walk away. We have a security screen on our door, so not only can't they enter the house, but they can't actually see me thru it either.

[Merriweather]

Personally, I just say "No thanks" and they leave me alone. I really don't have anything against them. As long as they don't get too pushy, I figure live and let live.

I'm normally polite, just say I have my own beliefs, and gently close the door. Only time they really upset me was when a couple of JW's came by asking to talk, while my family and I were all sitting by the tree opening our gifts on Christmas morning I know they don't celebrate Christmas themselves, but do they really think they'll get converts by knocking on doors interupting the celebrations of those who do?

[Talon]

She stopped me from loading up the one song I thought would scare them away for good. (I listen to weird shit; why not put it to good use?)

Hehe I'll see your German summoning-like lyrics and raise you with Carol of the Old Ones!
Have Cthulhu wish your unwanted guests a very scary solstace