A sign I saw on a door for door to door people

[Damien]

It said:

'If you are here to try and sell me anything, you will never get a sale..

If you are here to try to convert or save me, you are driving me away from your deity

If you are here to do a survey, mind your own business...

If you are here to solicit a donation, as far as you are concerned, I have already given...

So why are you coming to a house where you are not welcome and will fail?'

In related news, new wonderful Aussie law for the new year - door to door people are forbidden to knock on the door after 6pm!!!

[shadowpanda]

I lasted 2 days doing door to door stuff (I was lied to in the interview and assaulted on my second day) and we were told to ignore all signs about not knocking and do it any way. We worked from 11 til 8-8 30pm too, so the after 6pm law would screw things up for the company I used to work fo (which is a good thing, they were horrible people to be involved with)

[Damien]

My response, personally is a polite 'no thanks, please leave' and a calm closing of the door (even if they were mid-stream in rambling). If they knock again - i will warn them that they are now trespassing.... never had to go to the 3rd warning - calling the police

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Religion salespeople never leave me alone, even if I tell them to leave. Especially nineteen year-old boys with crisp, white shirts and innocent little expressions. Yes, sweetie-pie, why don't you tell me aaaaaall about it. Have a glass of Pepsi, take off your coat.

*Singing* "Come on-a my house-a myyyy house I'm a-gonna give-a you caaandy, Come on-a my house-a myyyy house, I'm a-gonna give-a you everything, everything..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuUABrOW7HI

[shadowpanda]

Not saying this is how to deal with Jehovas witnesses who come to the door but my Dad has been known to take off all his clothes before answering the door when the regular JW's come knocking on the doors down our street

[Crossbow]

Not saying this is how to deal with Jehovas witnesses who come to the door but my Dad has been known to take off all his clothes before answering the door when the regular JW's come knocking on the doors down our street

Worked for my wife. ;-)

Although I prefer shouting back into the house when they start their spiel: "Honey! the virgin sacrifices are here!"

[Sapphire Silk]

Not saying this is how to deal with Jehovas witnesses who come to the door but my Dad has been known to take off all his clothes before answering the door when the regular JW's come knocking on the doors down our street

I've done something like that myself, though it was unintentional.

I fell asleep in the living room after working a night shift (rare for me to do). It was summer, so I was sleeping in the nude.

Bible lady knocks on the door, waking me. I'm NEVER in a good mood when I first wake up. I grab a blanket about me and answer the door.

I've seen this lady before, and told her to stop knocking on my door because I work nights.

Me: I've told you to quit coming by. I work nights . . . you are waking me and I'm not interested!
Bible Lady: Please I just want to talk to you about the Lord

She then tries to force her way into my house!

That's when I dropped the blanket and said, "Look lady, I'm a Satanist!"

She beat feet and never came back.

(I'm not really a Satanist, but boy, was that ever effective)

[Lyse]

So far I have been pretty lucky with the religious door to door people since I moved. About two times a year a couple of women show up to give me a pamphlet that has an invitation to services at the church. They are polite, only talk to you if you are already outside - otherwise you just get a pamphlet on your door -don't start any preaching or lecturing and are always gone in less than a minute. I honestly get the impression that they are just trying to let people that might be interested in where/when their services are.

[blas]

Those JWs are desperate!

Granted, it's been quite mild temperature wise all week, but nonetheless, those young men are all bundled up walking the slush and icy streets trying to get money and convert people. Poor kids. Too bad I still won't let them in.

[bhskittykatt]

I've done something like that myself, though it was unintentional.

I fell asleep in the living room after working a night shift (rare for me to do). It was summer, so I was sleeping in the nude.

Bible lady knocks on the door, waking me. I'm NEVER in a good mood when I first wake up. I grab a blanket about me and answer the door.

I've seen this lady before, and told her to stop knocking on my door because I work nights.

Me: I've told you to quit coming by. I work nights . . . you are waking me and I'm not interested!
Bible Lady: Please I just want to talk to you about the Lord

She then tries to force her way into my house!

That's when I dropped the blanket and said, "Look lady, I'm a Satanist!"

She beat feet and never came back.

(I'm not really a Satanist, but boy, was that ever effective)

Reminds me of what my brother-in-law did once. He had a bunch of buddies over. They saw the JW's coming, so they decided to all strip naked. When they knocked, he answered the door butt-a**-naked, with all his buddies very clearly visible in the background. He said he'd love to hear what they had to say and invited them in. The JW's went and turned tail and double-timed it away from there.

Personally, I just say "No thanks" and they leave me alone. I really don't have anything against them. As long as they don't get too pushy, I figure live and let live.

[bhskittykatt]

I lasted 2 days doing door to door stuff (I was lied to in the interview and assaulted on my second day) and we were told to ignore all signs about not knocking and do it any way. We worked from 11 til 8-8 30pm too, so the after 6pm law would screw things up for the company I used to work fo (which is a good thing, they were horrible people to be involved with)

Sounds exactly like the people Hubby was involved with. Do they rhyme with "Furby"? They actually ditched Hubby in a town almost 2 hours away when he complained (he was told he'd be doing demos, not canvassing, and then they sent him off to canvas neighborhoods). They just pulled the van over and kicked him out! Fortunately, it was my day off and I was able to drive down and pick him up.

He did do canvassing work for them years ago as well. They were told to ignore signs. Sometime's, they'd be knocking on doors as late as 11pm!

Never, ever work for "Furby"!!! It is not worth it.

[Jay 2K Winger]

That's when I dropped the blanket and said, "Look lady, I'm a Satanist!"

My buddy Tom's done something similar when the JWs come to his house. He's not a Satanist or really religious at all. But what he does is this:

He gets a sort of distant, not-there look on his face for a few moments, then blinks, smiles, and looks at the JWs. "Hi! Satan's done talking to me now, what did you want?"

[ThirdGenRetail]

I have no idea how many come popping through here, since I've only actually seen two and I'm usually at work otherwise, but I have big dogs... One's said to be half Akita... Hershey is very territorial of our lot and some area directly around it... If they get persistent, I can get a leash and my dog, and in no uncertain terms tell them to bug off.

[Duelist925]

Not saying this is how to deal with Jehovas witnesses who come to the door but my Dad has been known to take off all his clothes before answering the door when the regular JW's come knocking on the doors down our street

My dad, when I was very young, got tired of being woken up on his day off by JW's knocking. Now, he didn't stop bein polite. He just got up one morning when they knocked, put on a pair of blue jeans, stuck a revolver down the front of them, put on a cowboy hat, and swaggered down, bear in one hand, and gave them his biggest shit eatin texas grin. Shirtless, he just nodded to them, sayin, "How ya'll doin?" They didn't come back for five years. =P


And when they did....they met a 13 year old me, carrying a broadsword somewhat taller than I was as I walked toward them. Didn't see them again for Another five years.

[Bloodsoul]

I wonder if I can rig my door to repeat a scene from The Simpsons?

"Welcome, come in! Ah, fresh victims for my ever growing army of the undead!"
"Sir, you have to let go of the button."
"Oh, son of a bi—!!"