The things I hear at work .....
"It's a clean bucket!" *you think this is an intelligent statement?*
"I can hear the ocean!" *We work on it? What did I miss?*
"I don't see the cats, they don't love me anymore?" *They're CATS!*
"I'm manly today, I didn't shave." *No, thats called a lack of personal hygene*
"It's 7/11!" *Blank look* "It's the 7th day of 2011!" "Ah" *Stop trying to think, you'll hurt someone*
"There's a green explorer!" *Yes, it's a pretty common color/model of vehical.*
"Everyone's on drugs today!" "OK?" "Everyone's happy!" *If it requires drugs to make you happy you should consider a change of lifestyle*
"It smells like skunk down here." "That's my new deoderant." *Why does this not suprise me?*
"Hey, I took up two parking spots!" *It's not my fault you can't park*
"It's warm in here I want to wear a swim suit." *Please. Don't. You are 56 and balding. That alone is more than enough.*
(While holding a small carved mirror and pretending to swing it at the shoulder I just had a tetanus shot in) "If you hit me with that I will kill you." "You promise?" "Yes." "So if I ever get deathly sick I can come over and you'll do me?""...." (This was in front of customers)
"That's some pretty rock, it's limestone." *I doubt they are building a seawall with limestone.*
"I don't know why there are reflector strips on the roads." *You don't know .... having hit four things in three days thus breaking the front bumper on your car .....never mind.*
"I'm five." *No sh-t. The question is, are we talking about IQ or age?*
"It's a clean bucket!" *you think this is an intelligent statement?*
"I can hear the ocean!" *We work on it? What did I miss?*
"I don't see the cats, they don't love me anymore?" *They're CATS!*
"I'm manly today, I didn't shave." *No, thats called a lack of personal hygene*
"It's 7/11!" *Blank look* "It's the 7th day of 2011!" "Ah" *Stop trying to think, you'll hurt someone*
"There's a green explorer!" *Yes, it's a pretty common color/model of vehical.*
"Everyone's on drugs today!" "OK?" "Everyone's happy!" *If it requires drugs to make you happy you should consider a change of lifestyle*
"It smells like skunk down here." "That's my new deoderant." *Why does this not suprise me?*
"Hey, I took up two parking spots!" *It's not my fault you can't park*
"It's warm in here I want to wear a swim suit." *Please. Don't. You are 56 and balding. That alone is more than enough.*
(While holding a small carved mirror and pretending to swing it at the shoulder I just had a tetanus shot in) "If you hit me with that I will kill you." "You promise?" "Yes." "So if I ever get deathly sick I can come over and you'll do me?""...." (This was in front of customers)
"That's some pretty rock, it's limestone." *I doubt they are building a seawall with limestone.*
"I don't know why there are reflector strips on the roads." *You don't know .... having hit four things in three days thus breaking the front bumper on your car .....never mind.*
"I'm five." *No sh-t. The question is, are we talking about IQ or age?*