Wherein I get mistaken as a Hooker Muffin

[Rena_Muffin]

Well, bf said I should post this seeing as how it's one of those rare times I show backbone, even though I may have been in the wrong (kinda) for pretending to be something I'm totally not. I figure it should go here because this man was not a customer, even though he was looking to buy 'something.'

BG: Rena and Boyfriend Muffin frequently go out to movies because I am a film lover and I love the social interaction going to a theater gets me. There's a nice three dollar theater we really like to hit up and after the most recent death I got to encounter this week (my iphone officially died and there was no hope of reviving it as BF and I sadly learned) I was really in an appetite for destruction because BF wouldn't let me take my revenge on the iphone (this iphone and I have had a long battle since BF gave me his old iphone for Christmas. Essentially, the second I got it this piece of equipment decided it wouldn't work over half the time and after doing a lot of work on it like getting the battery replaced, etc.. and then having it just straight up die , I had fantasies of how I would dispose of it for good cause it was just another frustrating event this year).
Battle LA was playing so we figured we'd watch it so I could get my destruction and explosions fix and BF would get to watch an action flick.
BF and I split up at the theater cause I got a coupon for free popcorn and he figured he'd save seats in the theater. The line is kind of long and as I'm waiting, this man comes up behind me and starts looking me over.
I'm dressed in a skirt, kinda short but I have biker shorts under it cause I don't want to show off my unmentionables, and I'm wearing an anime shirt (Death Note) with a jacket and my wicked awesome black boots. Essentially, I didn't think when putting the outfit on it screamed sex but this man thought differently, as I soon learned.
End BG.

RM-You're always wonderful Rena Muffin
BF- Boyfriend Muffin
RG-Random Guy looking for tail

RG: (taps Rena on the shoulder)
RM: (turns around to face RG)
RG: (looking Rena Muffin over, this isn't going anywhere good) So, where's a pretty thing like you going out dressed like that?
RM: (Now not pleased and wants her free popcorn) No where you're allowed to go. Leave me alone. (turns back around)
RG: Aw baby don't be like that. I can be good company.
RM: (moving as far away from RG as the line allows) No thanks. I already have company, I'm just here for popcorn.
RG: I bet I could pay better for your "company." (makes a pass for Rena's backside only to get his hand slapped away.)

(It was this line that kind of clued me in to the fact I guess he took me for the type of company whose services you pay for. Originally I thought about just telling him the truth (here with my boyfriend, f*ck off or I'll call someone over, etc) but then this little evil voice I'll refer to as Evil Muffin wakes up. Under that influence I kinda turned to the darkside for a few seconds)

RM: (turning around, now possessed by the Evil Muffin) So, how much do you think my company is worth?
RG: xx.xx, I could pitch in a bit more for your popcorn.
RM: (faking a condescending laugh) Please Honey. The man whose 'company' I'm providing is paying xxx,xxx, and he's already paying for my popcorn.
RG: (actually stalks off muttering under his breath. I don't know if he got in that line to harass me or to actually get something, don't really care either way)

I actually waited until he was out of sight and then I broke out laughing. The people in front of me in the line (I think they were a couple), who I guess were listening in, both gave me a high five. We joked about it and they were nice enough to walk me to my theater in case the Random Guy wanted to give me trouble. I wish I'd gotten some contact info so I could have thanked them better but hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

I told Boyfriend Muffin about the whole thing, he wanted to know why I was still laughing slightly, and after assuring him I was blowing smoke, apparently I'm a convincing fake hooker, he broke out laughing too. He was actually more surprised that apparently he was paying in the hundreds of thousands for me when he's only doing slightly better concerning his employment than I am.
After the whole thin, I am a bit concerning, considering Vancouver is kind of small, I'll see RG again and he'll talk about what I pretended to be (my fault on account that I really wasn't thinking when I did this whole stunt) but I figure it's a real long shot.

Bonus:: Boyfriend did give probably the cutest, yet weirdest compliment ever after the whole thing. When I told him how much he was 'paying' me, he shook his head and said "How could I pay so little for something so priceless."

[LillFilly]

"How could I pay so little for something so priceless."

DAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!! *Sniff.* He's a keeper, that's for sure!

And who picks up hookers at the movies?

[Ironclad Alibi]

And who picks up hookers at the movies?

Nobody, but it doesn't stop them from trying.

[Rena_Muffin]

DAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!! *Sniff.* He's a keeper, that's for sure!

And who picks up hookers at the movies?

Oh yes he is. I could go on forever how Boyfriend Muffin is probably the best person in the world. He's been especially supportive this year with all the stuff that's happened. We're almost at our 3 year aniversary (June 20th!)

As for the movie theater thing, BF and I have both been hit on in weird places. I've been mistaken as a "companion" at a few anime conventions (the excuse I had here was I was dressed as Lust so maybe that's the reason? Idk, it's an anime convention and there are costumes WAY more suggestive than mine) and at a Red Lobster and the Movie theater. BF has never really been mistaken as a hooker but he's been hit on by girls and guys alot, though nothing sucky has ever really come of it.

[fma_fanatic]

RM: (faking a condescending laugh) Please Honey. The man whose 'company' I'm providing is paying xxx,xxx, and he's already paying for my popcorn.

Bwhahaha! Priceless.

And yes dear, your BF is a keeper. I'm sure he's glad to have your company, no matter how much he "pays"

[Zellie Crescent]

Bill is a lot like your BF with the things he says, I was reminded of him when I read the parts about your BF. Rena you've got yourself a keeper.

[Seshat]

Where I live, prostitution is legal. An outcall (not being in the brothel) starts at three figures and only goes up from there. And there's always a backup person hanging around somewhere, for the prostitute's safety: that person needs to be paid too.

And that's before sex is involved.
The 'girlfriend experience' (where the girl pretends and acts as the client's girl) adds even more.

Paying for your popcorn? Geez. No way, mate.


(Side note: there's a community of prostitutes who do semi-charity work. They have much, MUCH lower rates for the disabled on a pension. Some just do sex-assistance: they help position the disabled person and their partner, and anything else required to make it possible for the pair to be intimate.)

[PepperElf]

DAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!! *Sniff.* He's a keeper, that's for sure!

And who picks up hookers at the movies?

guys who can't get dates

[Shalom]

Some just do sex-assistance: they help position the disabled person and their partner, and anything else required to make it possible for the pair to be intimate.)

Sounds like Bujold's L.P.S.T.'s in real life. That is majorly cool. Kudos to them.

[Seshat]

It's a very emotionally sensitive job - they have to be professional without being intrusive - or having your professionalism itself being intrusive.

With some patients/clients, they can position them then go out of the room. Others need them there the whole time.

Anyway.. yeah, Shalom. It's cool that there's people doing it. The ones I've met seem to be cool people.