This is not respectful or even acceptable

[thatcrazyredhead]

I wasn't trying to argue, either. Just wanted to clarify.

[Dips]

I mentioned this thread to Mr. Dips while we were eating out at a bar. He looked a little puzzled, so I got specific. I asked if he could see anyone calling his paternal grandmother "Sweetie."

He just looked horrified. I'm sorry, but mean well or not, that's just not something either of us would call a lady.

But I have to say I'd have secretly enjoyed the fallout if anyone had tried it. His grandma could take you down a few pegs with a Look. She taught school for 50 years; you could tell.

We miss her.

[AccountingDrone]

I have an odd habit of calling older women Auntie-Ji, picked it up from an indian roomie I had for a while. His mother told me to call her that, and I was hanging out with a lot of the local indian population, and there were a lot of aunties around, so it got to be habit.

[Miss Maple Leaf]

The point is that using terms of endearment to address strangers is patronizing and rude at any age, IMO.

I agree with this 100%. I hate when strangers refer to me by a term of endearment. I find it highly disrespectful. Close friends and relatives (and certain coworkers) I don't mind, but anyone else? I'm either (my name) or ma'am.

[tropicsgoddess]

I agree with this 100%. I hate when strangers refer to me by a term of endearment. I find it highly disrespectful.

I agree too. For me it seems patronizing for a stranger to call me that, especially a strange man. There's only one man that is allowed to call me sweetheart, babe or baby or anything close to that and that man is SO.

[dragon_wings]

I'm 24 but don't look it and have had teens and adults younger then me call me ma'am. I hate being called ma'am. It's either 'miss' or <my name>.
Some pet names annoy me some don't. Anything pet name that seems southern annoys me cause I grew up in the south and hated it. One the other hand anything British or the like makes me squee.
I had a youngish American customer call me 'luv' once and I was like 'Huh? I love that!'

Eta: And I call everyone 'Dude'. Well anyone I know and am familiar with. Just yesterday I made a comment on Facebook referring to my mother, one of her friends, and her cousin as 'Dudes'.

[EricKei]

I tend to take it in stride when people call me by those terms, but I try to keep it formal when I'm among strangers -- I tend to use Sir and Ma'am unless I am explicitly been told otherwise (which I have, on occasion -- and even then, it takes me awhile to stop doing it).

Among my family, however, anything goes. One as-yet-unmentioned ToE that has persisted over the generations with us has been "Boo", but ONLY when it's an older person addressing a younger one, as in "Would ya please get me some more coffee, Boo?"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Among my family, however, anything goes. One as-yet-unmentioned ToE that has persisted over the generations with us has been "Boo", but ONLY when it's an older person addressing a younger one, as in "Would ya please get me some more coffee, Boo?"

"Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the eyes!"

[Frantic Freddie]

I'm 24 but don't look it and have had teens and adults younger then me call me ma'am. I hate being called ma'am. It's either 'miss' or <my name>.

You'd be 'Miss' to me as in,"Miss,you don't look 24,are you 23 or 25?"

[Laund-o-rama Mama]

count me as another older than I look! I'm in my 30s but I constantly get asked when I graduated high school and if this is a summer college job.

On the job I have to grin and bear it when the older men (why is it always older men??) slink up to me with the "hon"s and "sweetie"s. But outside the job I don't put up with it!* I once told a group of smarmy, condescending older men in a bar to quit calling me honey. They were all "yes MA'AM!" Damn right!

*I do not mind if anyone elderly uses ToE. I have a soft spot for nice elderly folk. And I would never DREAM of calling any woman my grandmother's age "sweetie"!

[Primer]

The only ones I use "sweetie" etc on are my dogs, and that's been since only recently. Even DH gets called by his name. Just the way I was raised. When I was younger, if the person was obviously older than me, it was "sir" or "ma'am." I had a hard time when they were my age or younger, as until I was in my mid/late 20's, I was always the youngest one in my crowd. Now that I'm older, everyone is "sir" or "ma'am" regardless of age, except on the rare occasion when my classes are acting up. Then it becomes "children." BTW, I teach college.

[Ironclad Alibi]

"Call me anything, just don't call me late for dinner."

[PepperElf]

I mean, this is the south, and a woman saying to me or any other younger woman is pretty much how we talk down here. But saying it to a bent, frail, clearly very elderly lady is not respectful.

I'm in the mid south and when I'm at work (actually when I'm off work too) everyone I talk to is "ma'am" or "sir" if I don't know their names... (save for a guy I saw wearing a Navy CPO shirt - I called him "chief")

[ShadowTiger]

The 72 year old hardware guy in my store calls people around his age "young fella," in jest, and in respect, to create a bridge between them. He's being social. I can't imagine him being disrespectful toward anyone.

I call any female, almost regardless of age, hon, and I'm not even sure why. It just comes to me, coupled with a huge amiable smile. ( <-- Like that, or ^-^ ) Haven't had any issues with it yet.

I think that the title that a person accumulates and the way people act toward them are two different kinds of respect. If a person calls me "young fella," but is totally and completely friendly and respectful despite the age difference, why should it matter? If I got riled up over that, I'd consider myself to be the antagonist.

[BiscuitMunroe]

I work in a gay bar, where I can and do call everyone sweet, hon and dear. at my day job, dealing with the youngish men (16-27ish) I will accidentally slip. Their girlfriends don't like that very much... :S