Ah... no...

[Imogene]

I've been living out of a friend's hotel for a week as of tomorrow... I ran away fro home and am just waiting for the money to continue on to my eventual destination. She works the overnight shift, and I tend to wander down to hang out with her at least briefly whenever she comes on shift... this particular night, she's jonesing for a cigarette, but has none. She asks a group of guys who have been hanging around since I got to the hotel if they have any cigarettes. They have obviously been drinking heavily already, and have left a 12 pack and a 24 pack inside while they sit on the porch next to the pool. Friend goes out to ask, and sits down to talk to them, so I wander out to just hang out. Guy 1 sees me and asks if I can grab his beer off the table inside... I'm too nice, so I poke my head inside, and see the box on the table isn't open. I go back out and ask if he meant the box on the floor...
"No, the box on the table... do the two of you want a beer?"
I: "I don't drink..."
F: "I'm on the clock..."
I go back in and bring out the box on the table...
G1: "No, that box is for the fridge..."
I: "It was the only box on the table... did you mean the box on the floor?"
G1: "You're right, of course... do you want a beer?"
I: "I still don't drink..."
I go get the other box and hang out with the group, and get asked a lot more if I drink, or smoke, or random legal and/or illegal drugs.
I: "No, none of that... I'm insane enough sober, much less inebriated..."
G2: "I guess I can respect that..."