Rules of thumb when out in public

[Xarthedia]

A few pet peeves of mine. Anybody feel like adding to the list?

And I figured this was best suited in Sightings. If I'm wrong, my bad, and please relocate to the appropriate place.

1. Act your age, not your shoe size. Basically, this means that you do not purposely try to destroy something that doesn't belong to you. If, for instance, I see you on the bus, and you're using your tiny pocket knife (which you carry to look 'cool') to pry loose one of the hammers that are there in case the bus has an accident, be warned. I'm always reading a paper on the bus, and if you're sitting anywhere near me, I will roll said paper up and whack you with it. What are you, 5 years old?
2. If you absolutely must have your cellphone's sound on in a normally quiet part of the world, at least have the decency to turn the volume down. The last thing I need is to be scared half out of my wits while I'm calmly perusing the shelves of my favorite store, all because Mr. Self-important set his cellphone's volume to the highest setting possible since he doesn't want to miss a call from his half-uncle's father's ex-brother-in-law's fourth cousin twice removed. If you can't figure out something as simple as turning the volume down, at least use a ringtone that isn't another nauseating example of money-machine boyband bull.
3. Thank people when they help you. When I'm waiting in sub-zero temperatures for 45 minutes straight to get home in the middle of the night, I might just offer you my cab if I see that you have children. I do not, however, do this just to have you say 'Yeah', load in the wife and kids and then take off. You ungrateful sonofabiscuit. By now I don't care if you have young kids with you. Least that'll teach them what you get by being rude.

[GayleShy]

If you use a public restroom, for the love of all that is holy, wash your hands. I do not want to touch anything you've touched afterward, and trust me, I WILL call you on it if I catch you doing that while I'm off the clock.

I honestly don't think your child is the cutest little thing on God's green earth, I've got two neices who've already claimed that title in my heart, and I don't like ill mannered kids who don't know how to shut the heck up in a store or a movie theater.

On the same lines, you people need to use better judgement when taking your offsping to a movie. If it says "rated R for graphic content," it means it. Trust me, you WILL get dirty looks from the people around you when you poor child starts screaming because the guy on the screen just had his head chopped off and it showed everything.

I was in line first. I don't care if I work there, I did not say that you could cut in front of me, and not, there is nothing in the handbook that says that either.

The great outdoors is not your trash can. I will also call you on littering if I am not working. It makes me mad seeing people toss their crap on the ground.

[powerboy]

Who the hell do you think you are, you are not special. So with that being said, Put back something, where you found it.

If I say, that we do not have change for that $100.00, then it means that, that we do not have change. I know it makes it hard, but there is nothing I can do about it.

If I look over at your direction, do not, try to act tough, and want to start something, because if something did happen, I would win in the long run.

If I smile over at your GF, Wife, Daughter, it does not mean that I am flirting, it means, that I am smiling.

If I am walking, do not come walking from the other direction, while walking right beside me, where some part of you touches my arm. Have you ever heard of Personal Space?

[BookstoreEscapee]

If you are using a public restroom (part 2): If you pee on the seat, clean up after yourself! The last thing I want to do when I have to go is clean up someone elses pee (or worse). If you absolutely can't let your pristine thighs touch the seat, use one of those nifty seat-shaped liners or cover it with toilet paper. It's really not that hard.

If you are waiting for someone to come out of a store, don't idle your car in the middle of the lane where traffic is trying to get around you. Find a spot, pull over to the curb, drive around in circles, I don't care. Just move out of the way!

It's a given that you don't leave your dog in your car while you are shopping (or at least it should be). Also, don't tie your dog to a lamppost outside the store where he will bark at everyone trying to pass on the sidewalk. Someone did this one day, it was a medium sized dog, did not seem aggressive or anything, but he was barking like crazy and frightening little kids. I told my manager and she said we couldn't do anything because the store doesn't own the sidewalk. ! If you must go shopping, take the dog home first!

[zzapp the witch]

Using a public restroom Pt 3: Please to be washing the toilet seat if you had some unexpected overflow. The last thing I need to walk in on while teaching my daughter to use the public potty is a bloody (as in blood, not British curse) buttprint from your heavy duty, industrial-sized, charcoal filtered Always being tucked between your buttcheeks. Yes, I've done it, yes, I use that brand, and yes, I have washed public toilet seats after doing that. I even used a paper towel and tap water, not toilet paper and spit. Its really not that hard to do, everyone's done it, and I'm sure that if there is a line, no one will bitch if you stop them from going into the stall while you clean up your mess. Also, the damn things come with wrappers that you can tuck them back into when you throw them out, and barring that, there's toilet paper to wrap them in. Leaving used pads hanging (somewhat comically) halfway out of the receptacle for them, tangled with the bloody tampon strings is not very considerate.

Train your kids to not blow snot balls onto the glass counterfronts at the deli. I like to be able to tell that the cheese I'm looking at isn't some kind with green peppers in it without getting on tip toe. Yes, my kids have left fingerprints on the glass, hell, they've blown steam on it. But one thing I have trained my kids to NOT do is stand there (while you're yelling at the deli lady to make sure your roast beef comes to EXACTLY 1 lb) going SNORT HORK SNORT HORK with every inhale and exhale on the glass, blowing green gobs of redigested boogers picked and eaten the night before. Honestly, how does a kid store that much crap in his sinuses??!! (The deli lady was trying not to vomit).

Men: You may not be able to see the wet spot, but everyone else can. One shall not be the number of the shaking, nor three, for that is playing with thyself. The number of the shaking shall be two, and they shall be firm shakes, removing all droplets from the penis and into the urinal. To be honest though, its not the wet spot that bothers me, that in itself is kinda funny. Its the scratching of the balls and SNIFFING OF THE FINGERS that gets me. I've got a boyfriend, we share a bathroom. I have smelled his pee. It does not smell good. Does it smell better with age? Please tell me, women everywhere are dying to know!

Wash your hands after changing your poopy infant. I was in the bathroom when you came in, and you had my sympathy. That was quite the explosion. But you have a very calm baby who thankfully just laid there and cooed while you cleaned his cute litte butt. I noticed that you exited without washing your hands. Sure, I've pulled the diaper wipe bit before, but initially you got quite the handful, I know this because of the vocal exclamation and hand gestures. But you WIPED IT ON YOUR PANTS! Then, directly out of the bathroom and into grocery I saw you trying a food sample they had out. Apparently something stuck to your fingers because you had to LICK EVERY SINGLE ONE ON THE POOPY HAND!!!! If you're going to make a habit of this, paint your nails a solid color instead of the french tip style, because I could see the brown line still caught under your nail.

[rvdammit]

If I say, that we do not have change for that $100.00, then it means that, that we do not have change. That is why, we have a sign posted, stating that we do not accept anything over a $50. I know it makes it hard, but there is nothing I can do about it.

This is one I always hope is tempered with a little common sense, afterall if I'm buying stuff within $5 of a hundred (e.g. $97.83) i'd hope you'd have change.

[ArenaBoy]

Xarthedia, is your avatar from the Warning Label Generator?

Anyway:

1. For the love of gord do not throw your job title around, it makes you look like an idiot.

[Xarthedia]

Xarthedia, is your avatar from the Warning Label Generator?

I can honestly say that I don't have a clue. I just did a google search for "sarcasm" and it popped right up. If the shoe fits...

An in relation to zzap's Booger Babies - here's another one of mine:

You're free to spit, hark, snort and gag around your friends and by yourself, even for sport. But in the middle of a busy plaza isn't exactly the best of times to be engaging in any of those. Especially if it's summer and you're just blowing those delightful globs all over the place while most people are wearing sandals or, god forbid, are walking around bare-foot. Stepping in your saliva and it's byproducts is not my idea of a fun-filled afternoon out; buy a spit-cup if your mouth is watering too much for you to be able to swallow it back down.

And one more...

If there's a "No Smoking" sign in the area, it means that, get this, smoking is not allowed in the immediate vicinity of that sign. Apparently you can read, so quit playing all high and mighty if I tell you to put out your cigarette - I don't work there, so you can't get me fired. I smoke too, but not where I'm not allowed to, and certainly not around mothers with young children like the one you just gave a faceful of nicotine.

[XCashier]

The great outdoors is not your trash can. I will also call you on littering if I am not working. It makes me mad seeing people toss their crap on the ground.

I've done that before. I've blasted my car horn or rolled down the window and yelled, "Litter bug!" when I've seen someone throwing garbage out their car window. I hate litterers. And on that note...

DO NOT THROW CIGARETTE BUTTS OUT THE CAR WINDOW. I cannot stress this enough. We live in the desert, the wild plants are tinder-dry most of the year, and you're throwing a still-hot cigarette butt into that patch of brown grass. Can you say, "raging wildfire"? Hundreds of acres burned, homes destroyed, resources used, possibly even lives lost, all because you can't be bothered to use your ashtray. Don't have an ashtray in your car? Go to your local auto parts shop and buy one!

For the sake of everybody's sinuses, BATHE! Use deodorant and toothpaste! And go easy on the perfume! What, were you born in a barn?

You are an adult, act like one. Nobody is impressed when you pitch a fit because your coffee rung up 2¢ higher than the sign posted on the shelf. Politely pointing it out to the clerk and patiently waiting for him/her to correct it is how adults handle it.

Oh, and don't make fun of the employees to me. I will not see the humor in your sarcastic asides, and more than likely will point out the blaringly obvious facts that they are human, have no say over the rules of the place, and there's plenty of blank applications at the Customer Service counter if you, the customer, think you can do a better job than they can.

[powerboy]

This is one I always hope is tempered with a little common sense, afterall if I'm buying stuff within $5 of a hundred (e.g. $97.83) i'd hope you'd have change.

Well yeah, we would have change then, but I mean for someone to buy something for $1.00, and they hand us a $100 bill, and expects us to make change for it.

I just changed it, because we have taken down the sign at work. And I could have explained it better

[DesignFox]

A few of mine:

If there is a long line- I know it's hard, I know it's inconvenient, I know it sucks- but please, wait your turn. Everyone else in the store has been waiting patiently for their turn...you can, too!

Please don't interrupt me when I am with another customer. That is rude! You would not want someone else stealing my attention from you, don't do it to anyone else!

Huffing, puffing, tapping your nails on the counter, and giving me dirty looks will not make me ring faster. I am doing the best I can. Actually, the more of a rush you are in is directly proportionate to how slowly I will ring your transaction when you get to me.

For the love of all things that don't suck, clean up your pee-pees in the bathroom! I don't want to have to clean up after you just so I can use the potty!

GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE! That is rude, rude, rude! Also, don't glare at me and get all huffy if you ARE on your phone when you walk in the door and I don't immediately greet you and offer you help...Afterall, you ARE on your PHONE... that doesn't indicate to me that you are in need of my help at the moment.

Complaining about the long lines actually just adds to the problem. Shut up. I know.

I am not the babysitter. Take care of your children.

Speak clearly.

Complaints are fine; also occasionally legitimate. Being nasty about them will not get you anywhere though. Honey draws more flies than vinegar.

Ok, I'll shut up now.

[RentalRacer]

Kinda OT...You have chosen to drive a Toyota Prius. I applaud the fact that you wish to have a vehicle that gets excellent fuel mileage. However, driving a Prius does not excuse the fact that you are going 10MPH under the speed limit. I assure you, your Prius will still achieve excellent MPG while driving the speed limit. I'm willing to look past the fact that it has taken us roughly 2 miles to get up to 45MPH, even though I know your car will accelerate faster than that without even trying hard. When I pass you, I am not being rude. I have not tailgated you while I have been looking for the right time to pass you as so many others probably do. There is no need to honk your horn/flash your lights/flip me off.

[Sofar]

Men: You may not be able to see the wet spot, but everyone else can. One shall not be the number of the shaking, nor three, for that is playing with thyself. The number of the shaking shall be two, and they shall be firm shakes, removing all droplets from the penis and into the urinal.

One day they'll put toilet paper at the urinals. By the way, those with the wet spot are likely not wearing any undergarments.

This is one I always hope is tempered with a little common sense, afterall if I'm buying stuff within $5 of a hundred (e.g. $97.83) i'd hope you'd have change.

I once tried to pay for a purchase of 101 dollars and 75 cents with a hundred and a five and was turned away for it.

I've only one rule, and that's please dress nicely. Now, in my perfect world everyone wears a tie and a waistcoat and smiles and waves to me as I walk down the street, but for everyone else, I know it can get to be a roaring toasty eighty degrees in the summer here in Seattle, but maybe you can be persuaded to leave the house in more than a wife-beater and cut-off sweats. Some of us apparently can't afford new slacks when the old ones get 'oles in 'em, but maybe you can sew patches on them, stitch up the split seams, maybe. As if anyone still knows how to sew. Maybe you don't have to wear dungarees everywhere. If you are a heavy smoker, p'raps you can get your grubby dacron jacket cleaned more than once a year. Maybe you could even tuck your shirt in time-to-time, but that's really too much to ask from most people.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'd also request that if you're an old man with hairy shoulders and back, to cover those up. Just like if you're a woman with a muffin top to eschew low slung jeans and cropped tops. I understand that it's hot in summer, but there are nice floaty cotton tops you can wear to cover up your stomach which are just as cool. Finally, embrace your size. If you are a size 18, then wear an 18. Shoehorning yourself into size 12 will not magically grant you that size.

[Carolinagirl]

#2 02-11-2007, 10:47 PM
GayleShy GayleShy is offline
Cashier Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 46



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If you use a public restroom, for the love of all that is holy, wash your hands. I do not want to touch anything you've touched afterward, and trust me, I WILL call you on it if I catch you doing that while I'm off the clock.



AMEN................... it makes me sick when people DO NOT wash their hands.... would never want to eat at their house.