Stupidest threat I ever heard

[PepperElf]

There's an unusual computer shop here... unusual because the owner also owns a gun store. Both stores are side by side and are easily interconnecting, and both post signs stating that customers are encouraged to carry inside.

One of the workers (or perhaps the owner) was telling my BF and me about a customer who started threatening him...

Me: ... he threatened you? You have easy access to quite a few firearms and he threatened you? How stupid is that?


I think the customer was banned but... seriously, how stupid do you have to be to threaten someone who can easily defend themselves from you?

[Crossbow]

That's actually dumber than robbing a doughnut shop that's next door to the police station....





Not much dumber, I grant you. But still....

[Syriilord]

I remember coming across a story once, years ago, about a guy who tried to pull off an armed robbery. In a gun store. While several armed and uniformed police officers were subduing someone else who'd had the same brilliant idea not five minutes earlier.

He actually walked past 2 police cruisers to get into the gun shop. Walked past several quite obvious cops who were arresting someone, and pulled a gun on the guy behind the counter. Who was standing there talking over the finer points of several handguns with another customer, both of whom were currently holding a gun.

Now, I don't know about you, but if I were stupid and desperate enough to try armed robbery, any one of those points in bold above would have given me pause to reconsider my choice of target.

Some people
I think he probably spends his time now hiding out in Canada, ordering pants from catalogs

[NorthernZel]

I remember coming across a story once, years ago, about a guy who tried to pull off an armed robbery. In a gun store. While several armed and uniformed police officers were subduing someone else who'd had the same brilliant idea not five minutes earlier.

IIRC, it was one of the most famous Darwin Award articles.

[mharbourgirl]

When I was a teenager, a local radio station had a short program called 'News that didn't quite make the news', bunch of dumb funny stuff that happened around the area. The best story they ever told was about this dude that decided to embark on a career of break and entering.

The shop he picked?

A burglar alarm company.

Ok, you laughed too soon. The really good bit?

DIRECTLY across the street from the local precinct.


Then there was the guy who decided to rob a restaurant. At noon. Weekday. Somehow he missed the six RCMP cars in the parking lot. Blows inside, waves a gun around and hollers 'Give me all your money!'

12 police officers stood up and stared at him. He never made it back out the door 'cause he was under a pile of really pissed off cops who didn't appreciate their lunch being interrupted.

Ah, humans, you amuse me greatly.

[Squeaksmyalias]

I had a guy I once knew threaten me, in front of two uniformed armed officers while I was sitting with their K9, who loved me (I was called the dog's friend). He didn't make it within five feet of me before the dog took a protective stance in front of me, he made some threats and then the officers burst out laughing and asked him if he was really threatening the K9's friend in front of two cops. He started to mouth off to them, the color drained from his face and I'm not sure how he didn't manage to pee his pants by the look he had. I think the best part was, he knew long before that I know quite a few police officers, including being friendly with both of the towns k9s.

[PepperElf]

heh. you all reminded me of something i read online at another site...

don't know if i posted this one before but...


The man saw an urban youth in a track suit and chains walk into the gun store and ask the owner where he can practice shooting his new High Point .40 before using it as a tool for his "trade".

Owner: the river underneath the bridge, it's a wonderful place to practice.
Urban youth: *left with a big smile*
Man: *after the youth left* Did you really intend to send the guy shooting inside the city limits right next to the police station?
Owner: Yes, and thank you for not opening your mouth and ruining the surprise.

[Treasure]

here's a bright one:
Trying to rob a Flower Shop - on Valentines
cause hey - there's a LOT of money in there -

never mind all the knives and sticks (rose stems, bamboo, curly willow, pussy willow, etc etc) and other things that could be used to detain the idiot.

as some poor fool discovered.
(I want to say the story is out of Florida, but its got to be 12 years old by now)

[MoonCat]

There was one case where a guy tried to rob a hotel.

That was hosting a law enforcement conference.

It even said so on the sign outside. But we all know people don't read signs!

Yeah, that guy didn't get far.

[Barracuda]

Reminds me of this scene from the movie Code of Silence. Classic.

[Polenicus]

I have one for you, real life and all.

When my family lived in Vernon, BC, my mother worked in Diversions. What that is is basically a program intended to find an alternative was to correct first-time young offenders, rather than putting them through the courts and the juvenile detention system. So she saw a LOT of stupid kids, but this took the cake.

This group of kids were drinking up at Silver Star ski resort, and decided it was a good idea to break into the emergency rescue shack, and steal the fire extinguishers inside. They proceeded to rampage around the parking lot and surroundings, spraying everything they could with white foamyness, including quite a few vehicles for that time of year (It was the off-season)

Why were there so many vehicles?

Because the RCMP was having their annual convention at the resort. The place was at capacity, and it was ALL COPS.

These kids? Managed to damage the car of the retire commissioner for the RCMP.

Thankfully, the harm done was mostly minor, and the cops were more amused at the profund lack of judgement shown. The kids had never been in trouble before, and were terrified when they realized how badly they had screwed up.

[Syriilord]

IIRC, it was one of the most famous Darwin Award articles.

That must be where I read it. I'm a huge Darwins fan. Even have a few of the printed anthologies.

[Dreamstalker]

There's a clip on 1000 Ways To Die (it might originally be a Darwin award) showing surveillance camera footage of some moron who was trying to rob a jewelry store...but walked into the gun shop next door. He failed to notice the signs because he had a stocking on his head.

Pulling a gun in a gun store? Yeah, he got filled with holes.

[dalesys]

And I'm having flashbacks of Fearless Fosdick...

[emax4]

I recall a story from News of the Weird or something, where some guy carjacked a van, and the van was transporting a bunch of karate students. I would love to have seen that... After the first chop I wonder what the perpetrator was thinking...