Wherein I am cockpunched by a toddler

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I ventured out to the local Inbred Carnival™ to replenish my motor oil supply (the Freleighmobile is in another one of its "burn oil like it's going out of style" phases) and to pick up a sub sammich for lunch at work tomorrow.

Inside the in-store Subway there is a large line of people waiting to order or for food, so I take my place behind a mother and her toddler-age daughter.

So I'm staring blankly ahead and out the windows as the toddler girl is doing fidgety toddler dowanna-wait-in-line things, like launching herself into the wall repeatedly.

Then she balls up her little hands into fists and starts swinging them around--and catches me right in the cherries.

I bend over and the mother starts apologizing and has the daughter apologize too. So I just shrug it off and tell the kid "Be more careful; my girlfriend won't like that!"

(note: I don't have a girlfriend.)

[Midnight12]

winced just reading that, poor irv. your future gf dislikes this?

[Victory Sabre]

You've got to wear a cup when you go there.

[bainsidhe]

I'm sorry, I just started laughing at your title. I realize I'm a bad person. So sorry. That and I can't help but think you've had a really shitty year.

[Moosenogger]

At least the mother was kind enough to apologize and let the girl know it's not proper to smash people in the jewels. Considering some of the parent stories I see on this site, this situation could have been worse.

[Draco]

Have to agree with Moosenogger. I half expected her to flip out on YOU for punching her little girl's hand with your crotch.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Gah! o___o
, *hands an icepack*

[Marmalady]

I can just see all the male CSers' eyes watering in sympathy as they read this.

*gives Irv double chocolate chip cookies to take his mind off things*

[Crossbow]

How do I make the word "OW" look high-pitched in text?

My sympathies, Irv.

[Bloodsoul]

If I remember correctly, in one of the Street Fighter or Capcom crossover titles Ken suffers the same fate when training with his young son.

[Captain Trips]

Have to agree with Moosenogger. I half expected her to flip out on YOU for punching her little girl's hand with your crotch.

Or worse, start yelling how you are a child molester for touching her precious little fist with your still-in-your-pants cock.

[tropicsgoddess]

OW!!! I'm still in awe (after all the "parent of the year" stories) That the mother apologized and made the daughter apologize to you for hitting you below the belt.

[ShadowBall]

Another one who's shocked Mommy didn't have a royal shitfit and start accusing you of being a pedo. She should probably learn to wrangle her kid because someday her kid will wallop someone who is less tolerant (crazy person, actual pedo, someone with boundary issues/abuse victim, etc.) and they might automatically respond to such contact in a way that neither Mommy nor Junior will like very much.

It is pretty sad when we are all astounded when a parent does the right thing since a vast majority of them stand up for their violent little snowflakes at every turn.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I actually don't ascribe any malice to what the kid did. She was just being a kid. I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[Draco]

Yeah, just sounds like she was swinging around her arms and you just happened to be a tad closer than you ended up wishing you were. It's not like she glowered up with you and then pounded you in the nuts. Then I'd be PO'ed at the kid. >.>