Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How to ruin thanksgiving - brain bleach required NSFW

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How to ruin thanksgiving - brain bleach required NSFW

    I read this at another message board I go to. warning nsfw and not safe for sensitive stomachs

    Poor guy had his thanksgiving dinner pretty much ruined. He'd raised the turkey himself for the year and had gotten it to 50 pounds. Only... two days before thanksgiving, ...the dog tried to eat the turkey...

    [blanked for those who don't want to know]Well, he tried to eat the turkey while it was *still alive*... AFTER violating it (yes that). ... In front of the man's wife and three children aged 3, 5, & 7. They were pretty horrified. The man had to put the turkey out of its misery himself the next morning.[/blank, here's your ]

    Not sure what the man's family had for dinner. According to the thread he was able to salvage the breasts and a wing. But it wasn't going to be for thanksgiving dinner now... not sure what it was going to be used for... I mean sure he still had 19 pounds of meat left but I don't think anyone would want to eat it now...

    Although the replies to his thread were... priceless. Including asking for pics of the dog and making jokes about the turkey meat.
    Last edited by PepperElf; 11-28-2011, 02:05 PM.

  • #2
    How insensitive.
    Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

    Comment


    • #3
      Well to be honest... it's the kind of message board where replies like that are expected.
      especially when the OP put what happened in the thread title. and posted it to the somewhat no-holds-barred section of the boards.
      Last edited by PepperElf; 11-28-2011, 03:35 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        That's not the way you stuff a turkey.
        To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

        Comment


        • #5
          Yeah, the cream is for the coffee, not the stuffing.
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

          Comment


          • #6
            Kids, the dog is injecting the mead...
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

            Comment


            • #7
              Yet one more reason to get the family dog neutered.

              Comment


              • #8
                I guess the dog wanted to make the gravy this year.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I can't out-comment you guys, cuz those rock!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Dog: "Lil buddy, I know you're really really stoked about this holiday gig you've got this year but...
                    I'm just a dumb sonofab...., can't speak to well, (actually not at all) so I'll have to show you what a bad bad idea that gig is.

                    First, you are really and truly screwed.

                    Second, the job bites.

                    Third, you'll be literally gutted by it.
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Panacea View Post
                      Yeah, the cream is for the coffee, not the stuffing.
                      I'm crying.
                      If anyone breaks the three pint rule, they'll be running all night to the pisser and back.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Canine turkey basting at it's finest....
                        I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                        Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                        Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                          Canine turkey basting at it's finest....
                          "Sick of having to squeeze those bulbs to get all that goodness inside your turkey?
                          Sick of having to prepare that mixture and slave away for hours inside the kitchen?
                          Well that's about to become a thing of the past with...

                          THE CANINE BASTER!

                          Just allow your dog to baste your turkey and your turkey will be Thanksgiving perfect in just a matter of minutes! No cooking, no stuffing and clean as anything! Simply allow your dog and the turkey 45 minutes alone and your turkey will be ready in no time!

                          Call now and we'll throw in a second Canine Baster for free! Cut your Thanksgiving preparation in half! You will be the envy of the neighbourhood"

                          How much does this cost you ask? Not $500, not $300, but 5 easy payments of $49.95 including postage and handling! Pay by credit card and we'll throw in this free DVD-"101 Ways To Stuff Your Animal"

                          Call now! 1-800-TURKEYS "


                          Warning; side effects may include dry mouth, nausea and vomiting. Do not allow Canine Baster to baste your furniture or your legs. Canine baster may end up basting other animals resulting in pregnancy. Turkey Sales Inc. do not take any responsibility for misuse of this product.
                          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                          Now queen of USSR-Land...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This whole thread is making me laugh my ass off!

                            Thanks, I needed that!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Those puns are mighty fowl, my friends....

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X