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  • 4 Sightings, 1 Restaurant

    Less disturbing than the infamous 2 Wenches, 1 Goblet, but disturbing all the same.

    Last night my boyfriend and I went out to dinner at the local Outback. It appeared that half the population of the county had also decided that was a fine idea, with the result being that there was a wait of almost fifty minutes. As we didn't have anything better to do, we decided to just wait it out, and while waiting we saw the following:

    1. -- A man using a spit cup. For those of you fortunate people who are not familiar with smokeless tobacco, a spit cup is a necessity because if someone is chewing tobacco or skoal or dipping snuff, they're going to produce enormous amounts of thick, black-brown saliva that must be spit out. I'm not a fan of tobacco use in general, because cigars and cigarettes stink, but I'm especially not a fan of chewing tobacco because it's a truly stomach-turning sight to see someone bring a cup to their lips every few seconds and squirt out another brown gob. You know that cup is getting fuller and fuller and fuller, and you know what it's being filled with.

    And there he was, in the crowd, spitting into a cup.

    2. -- I had to get away from the nasty bastard from the first sighting and stepped outside. It was raining and so I stood under the porch. There's a bit of a narrow passage between the porch and the area where, in better weather, you can sit outside and eat. A fat woman emerged from the restaurant, saw me standing in that narrow passage and said, "Move. I need to go that way."

    3. -- There was a strange older woman roaming about the waiting area just blurting out all the details of her friend's and her husband's current hospital stay. Then she got on her phone and proceeded to talk very loudly about the same things, just in case somebody in the waiting area had happened to miss it. ICU, chance of recovery, the accident that caused it all... All was presented in loving, loud detail.

    4. -- I saw an asshole from work show up, wearing a tiger-print Santa hat no less. This person didn't do or say anything to me. I'm not even sure they noticed me but nevertheless, just being in proximity to them made my bowels quiver. They're just the sort of person you want to march up to, shake their hand, and tell them how personally and deeply offended you are that they persist in breathing.

    And that was it, thankfully -- although the waitstaff burst out in the birthday song three or four times and that's always annoying, but nothing you can blame them for.
    Drive it like it's a county car.

  • #2
    Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
    1. -- A man using a spit cup. For those of you fortunate people who are not familiar with smokeless tobacco, a spit cup is a necessity because if someone is chewing tobacco or skoal or dipping snuff, <snip>
    Ugh. Absolutely disgusting.

    There were two scenes in Kill Bill vol 2 that make me nearly vomit every time I see them: the one where Budd spits in the Bride's face, and the one where the Bride throws the spit cup in Elle Driver's face. I'm actually glad for the part where Elle gets her face stuck in the toilet; it cleans the mess up.

    Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
    2. -- A fat woman emerged from the restaurant, saw me standing in that narrow passage and said, "Move. I need to go that way."
    Did you ask her for the magic word? I would have

    Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
    3. -- There was a strange older woman roaming about the waiting area just blurting out all the details of her friend's and her husband's current hospital stay. Then she got on her phone and proceeded to talk very loudly about the same things, just in case somebody in the waiting area had happened to miss it. ICU, chance of recovery, the accident that caused it all... All was presented in loving, loud detail.
    Meh. I've been that woman . . . talking to my cousin at Longhorn's when Dad had his open heart surgery.

    Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
    4. -- I saw an asshole from work show up, wearing a tiger-print Santa hat no less. This person didn't do or say anything to me. I'm not even sure they noticed me but nevertheless, just being in proximity to them made my bowels quiver. They're just the sort of person you want to march up to, shake their hand, and tell them how personally and deeply offended you are that they persist in breathing.
    Quite a pleasant thought of something to say; focus on the joy of such statements when forced in the company of the ungodly obnoxious
    They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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    • #3
      1. It's a very disgusting habit I tend to associate with rednecks and lower class people, even though my own father who is a well off middle class person, did it when I was growing up.

      I also, for some odd reason, want to slug these people in the face when they call it a "dip". Not sure why. Maybe because I can't tell if they are talking about chewing tobacco or themselves. It just gets under my skin.

      2. I believe the correct response would have been, "I believe the exhibit for the hippos at the zoo is the other direction, Ma'am."

      3. I always love it when people do this... not really. I don't like hearing about this kind of stuff when it concerns people I know let alone a complete stranger.

      Are they dead? No
      Are they in bad shape? No
      Are they going to be ok? Yup

      That's the only information I need to know or care to know.
      Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb. - exmocaptainmoroni

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      • #4
        Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
        They're just the sort of person you want to march up to, shake their hand, and tell them how personally and deeply offended you are that they persist in breathing.
        You would actually want to touch them?!?!?

        Ewww!

        SC
        "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

        Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

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        • #5
          Quoth Panacea View Post
          Meh. I've been that woman . . . talking to my cousin at Longhorn's when Dad had his open heart surgery.
          This was a little different, actually. She was approaching random strangers and just blurting it out face to face as though she had a reason to talk to them. She said it to my boyfriend first, which made me wonder if maybe she'd recognized him from there or something, but then she moved on to someone else and started up all over again.

          "My husband and my best friend are both in the hospital! They're in the ICU and I came over here to eat, but it's taking so long..." And so on and so forth.

          Quoth Mystic View Post
          2. I believe the correct response would have been, "I believe the exhibit for the hippos at the zoo is the other direction, Ma'am."
          Translated literally, the French term for what you've just provided me with is "staircase wisdom."

          Quoth BroSCFischer View Post
          You would actually want to touch them?!?!?
          Indeed, because the proper way to go about it is to be very polite.

          "Well hello there!" *pump hands furiously* "I just want you to know that every day that you continue to make it to work safe and sound, without driving your car in the river or having a truck drive over you, every day that you continue to insist upon drawing breath, is a day that I become more and more convinced that God no longer loves me. I sincerely hope you die alone and screaming." *air kisses* "Ta-ta now!"
          Last edited by Antisocial_Worker; 12-24-2011, 02:12 PM.
          Drive it like it's a county car.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
            This was a little different, actually. She was approaching random strangers and just blurting it out face to face as though she had a reason to talk to them. She said it to my boyfriend first, which made me wonder if maybe she'd recognized him from there or something, but then she moved on to someone else and started up all over again.

            "My husband and my best friend are both in the hospital! They're in the ICU and I came over here to eat, but it's taking so long..." And so on and so forth.
            I missed that part. My brain interpreted it as talking loudly on a cellphone, which is what I did (in the parking lot, let me say, not the restaurant itself).

            That lady needed to get a grip.
            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
              Indeed, because the proper way to go about it is to be very polite.

              "Well hello there!" *pump hands furiously* "I just want you to know that every day that you continue to make it to work safe and sound, without driving your car in the river or having a truck drive over you, every day that you continue to insist upon drawing breath, is a day that I become more and more convinced that God no longer loves me. I sincerely hope you die alone and screaming." *air kisses* "Ta-ta now!"
              For maximum effect, after stating all this, breezily turn away and walk off smartly. Not at a dead run, but you want as much distance (and obstacles, ideally) between you and them by the time their brain manages to strip away the politeness and realize what you just said to them.
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

              Comment


              • #8
                Meh. I've been that woman . . . talking to my cousin at Longhorn's when Dad had his open heart surgery. :-)
                Been on the receiving end of that type of conversation while wandering about either Wallyworld or Garden Ridge I got to be rather adept at steering a shopping cart w/one hand and holding my phone with the other.
                Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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