"What the hell are peaches doing in pear sauce?"

[Cookie]

Monday night I was away from my phone to try out a yoga class. On the train ride home, I realized I had a voicemail from a number I didn't recognize. Oh well, I figured I'd listen and call back. It started off and I was pretty sure this person had been talking over my voicemail message. In their defense, they sounded like they were older. I'm not calling this person sucky, but more likely confused. This voicemail had to be heard to be believed. This is not quite verbatim and shortened a little bit, but not far off:

Caller: I am really worried about the willful spending of money that's going on. I am worried about all the money we owe on this house. Somebody has to be!
Me:
<insert about 15 seconds of dead silence>
Caller: I'm gonna bake a cake. You know what? I'm gonna bake a cake. Because I want something to eat other than ice cream.
Me:
Caller: I made some jello. I said to myself, I want to make some jello. So I wanted to make it with peaches and I took the peaches out of the cabinet, but they said "peaches in pear sauce" and I said, "What the hell are peaches doing in pear sauce?!?!"
Me: <trying really hard not to totally lose it on the train>
Caller: I bought some cookies. I went to the store and I bought some cookies and they were really cheap, too! Vanilla cookies! I saved 40 cents"
<voicemail abruptly ends>

[Kittish]

That was... excessively weird. My first guess would be someone who lives alone and was so desperate for any sort of interaction that they rambled on to the voicemail recorder til it cut them off. Any bets that whoever it was just kept right on rambling on til they got a dial tone? That's assuming they weren't also on a cell phone, in which case there's no telling how long they kept rambling.

You know, I'd be tempted to save the number and just randomly call it from time to time just for the entertainment value. Plus, who knows, the person at that number might turn out to be interesting once you get past the desperate for any sort of contact part.

[Mr Hero]

Caller: I made some jello. I said to myself, I want to make some jello. So I wanted to make it with peaches and I took the peaches out of the cabinet, but they said "peaches in pear sauce" and I said, "What the hell are peaches doing in pear sauce?!?!"

I can answer this one. They were put there by a man in a factory downtown.

[Becks]

They were put there by a man in a factory downtown.

You are my...Hero...

[Marmalady]

They were put there by a man in a factory downtown.

I'm stealing this.

[Ashaela]

I think I know why they're having too much willful spending of money.... S/he keeps buying other sweet things instead of eating the peaches!

I feel bad for the peaches, too. They didn't ask to be put in pear sauce, and now they may never be eaten. :-(

[Lovecats]

I think I know why they're having too much willful spending of money.... S/he keeps buying other sweet things instead of eating the peaches!

I feel bad for the peaches, too. They didn't ask to be put in pear sauce, and now they may never be eaten. :-(

Let's have a moment of silence for the peaches

[dalesys]

... I could go for a couple a peaches in au pair sauce ...

[Lachrymose]

I can answer this one. They were put there by a man in a factory downtown.

If there was one thing I was lacking today, it was an earwom.

Glad you could provide.

[XCashier]

"What the hell are peaches doing in pear sauce?!?!"

"The backstroke?"

[sms001]

If there was one thing I was lacking today, it was an earwom.

I already had one going, but this replaced it handily, and for the better.

As for the phone call - WTH?

[MoonCat]

... I could go for a couple a peaches in au pair sauce ...

Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree...

[greek_jester]

You know, one part of the random ramble I can kind of sympathise with.

I like pears, but they don't tend to be very long lived, so I buy these pear pots at my local supermarket (ingredients list: Pears, Pear juice. That's it.) One day I thought I'd pick up the next size up so I could make a dessert with it (pre-chopped, so less messy), & discovered that for some strange reason the pears in the larger pot were stored in grape juice. WTF? Doesn't help I'm intolerant to grapes or pure grape juice...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I can answer this one. They were put there by a man in a factory downtown.

They come in a can.

[dalesys]

They come in a can.

That ragged edge left by the can opener...