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<BG>I work for a local council in Mytown. Australia has three levels of government - federal, state and local. We oversee things like rates and property, roads and traffic, planning, building, etc. I'm in the Building department. My council is one of the wealthiest in Mytown and has more complaints made by entitled SCs than just about any local goverment in Mytown. <end BG>
As I mentioned in this post, we have a chronic complainer, Mrs X. She used to call frequently, in one of those moany, weary voices, as if we were too much trouble to speak to like grown-ups. Of course, repeated variations on the word 'no' change her voice to a whiny child, followed by screaming before she hangs up the phone. Unfortunately she got the name of my one-time Director, who is now CEO of the council. All complaints go to him. If he won't help (and he's learned not to) then she goes to the councillors, who kick up an even bigger stink because they are too stupid and self-important to tell her to get lost.
In a way I feel a bit sorry for her because she's clearly a lonely, bored old lady whose only joy is to spy on and complain about everyone in her street/suburb/town/city/world/etc. That feeling ends PDQ when I have to speak to her though!
My manager is the only one who doesn't have the spine to refuse to speak to her or make her put all her complaints in writing, as all other departments have done. Therefore we get her on the phone semi-regularly. Everyone in the department knows her, and it's something of a game to make the new people have to speak to her. This was her most notorious phone call. Sadly I didn't take it, but frankly the one-sidedness of it makes it all the funnier.
"Good morning, this is Mytown Building Services, Colleague speaking."
"Oh. Hello Mrs X."
"I see, you're having problems with the builders next door."
"Mm, no, they can use chainsaws in their work. Yes, from 7am."
"Well, no, they can only use them in the garden they've been hired to work in."
"No. No, they can't cut down your trees unless branches overhang the fence into the neighbour's garden."
"Your plants? What other plants are they cutting? Ivy or something?"
"Your flowers? How are they cutting your flowerbeds?"
"Oh, they're leaning over the fence to cut up your flowerbeds? Mrs X, I think you need to call the police. That's definitely not legal."
"But I don't understand why you won't call the police. They really are in the wrong."
"Oh."
"Why is it your fault they're cutting up your flowers?"
"You threw lemons at them? Why did you throw lemons at them?
"You thought they were making too much noise?"
"No, you've been told before that they can start at 7am."
"No, today is definitely not a public holiday."
"Well, you have only two choices. You can call the police and have them told about the whole situation or you can fix your garden and not throw lemons at the builders again."
"No, I'm afraid council can't help you with this. It's a civil matter."
"No, you'll have to speak to your lawyer. We can't help you with this."
"No, sorry about that. Goodbye."
And much laughter was had thereafter...
As I mentioned in this post, we have a chronic complainer, Mrs X. She used to call frequently, in one of those moany, weary voices, as if we were too much trouble to speak to like grown-ups. Of course, repeated variations on the word 'no' change her voice to a whiny child, followed by screaming before she hangs up the phone. Unfortunately she got the name of my one-time Director, who is now CEO of the council. All complaints go to him. If he won't help (and he's learned not to) then she goes to the councillors, who kick up an even bigger stink because they are too stupid and self-important to tell her to get lost.
In a way I feel a bit sorry for her because she's clearly a lonely, bored old lady whose only joy is to spy on and complain about everyone in her street/suburb/town/city/world/etc. That feeling ends PDQ when I have to speak to her though!
My manager is the only one who doesn't have the spine to refuse to speak to her or make her put all her complaints in writing, as all other departments have done. Therefore we get her on the phone semi-regularly. Everyone in the department knows her, and it's something of a game to make the new people have to speak to her. This was her most notorious phone call. Sadly I didn't take it, but frankly the one-sidedness of it makes it all the funnier.
"Good morning, this is Mytown Building Services, Colleague speaking."
"Oh. Hello Mrs X."
"I see, you're having problems with the builders next door."
"Mm, no, they can use chainsaws in their work. Yes, from 7am."
"Well, no, they can only use them in the garden they've been hired to work in."
"No. No, they can't cut down your trees unless branches overhang the fence into the neighbour's garden."
"Your plants? What other plants are they cutting? Ivy or something?"
"Your flowers? How are they cutting your flowerbeds?"
"Oh, they're leaning over the fence to cut up your flowerbeds? Mrs X, I think you need to call the police. That's definitely not legal."
"But I don't understand why you won't call the police. They really are in the wrong."
"Oh."
"Why is it your fault they're cutting up your flowers?"
"You threw lemons at them? Why did you throw lemons at them?
"You thought they were making too much noise?"
"No, you've been told before that they can start at 7am."
"No, today is definitely not a public holiday."
"Well, you have only two choices. You can call the police and have them told about the whole situation or you can fix your garden and not throw lemons at the builders again."
"No, I'm afraid council can't help you with this. It's a civil matter."
"No, you'll have to speak to your lawyer. We can't help you with this."
"No, sorry about that. Goodbye."
And much laughter was had thereafter...
Does she honestly not understand the role of the council? They are there to provide community services....like what you mentioned, plus libraries 
(at least my local council does that)
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