Habits of Highly Defective College Students

[smileyeagle1021]

8 -- Run over your fellow students.

8B-- cause a three car pile up at the main entrance to your campus.
Extra credit for making it so it also blocks the busiest surface street in Utah county.
Graduate Cum Laude if you do so during rush hour.
This happened more than once while I was there... no one at UVU could figure out the complexities of having two turn lanes turning at once and roundabouts.

[wolfie]

8B-- cause a three car pile up at the main entrance to your campus.
Extra credit for making it so it also blocks the busiest surface street in Utah county.
Graduate Cum Laude if you do so during rush hour.

Awarded posthumously if the first impact in the pileup occurs when you cut off a semi.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Awarded posthumously if the first impact in the pileup occurs when you cut off a semi.

Sounds similar to a Darwin . . .

[fireheart]

There is a computer lab in the teachers college on campus. You can only access this particular lab by getting security to clear your card. There is a reason for this.

It does NOT mean propping the door open with a recycle bin so that your buddies who haven't been cleared can get in and out.

Eta: students in lectures who cannot shut up. Now in the lecture, I might take some notes and play some games alongside it. Or I might surf the net (like I'm doing now) but I will actually listen and participate. The row in front of and behind me however, do not. They have been chatting non stop and the row in front of me has been passing notes back and forth. Seriously, you are not in high school....

[wolfie]

There is a computer lab in the teachers college on campus. You can only access this particular lab by getting security to clear your card. There is a reason for this.

It does NOT mean propping the door open with a recycle bin so that your buddies who haven't been cleared can get in and out.

Sounds like this is a high-security lab, so presumably it has cameras as well. Why not check the footage to see who's propping the door open? These people then get ONE warning. Second offense? Their card gets its lab access turned off. Need something that's only on the lab computers in order to pass the course? Tough shit.

[fireheart]

Sounds like this is a high-security lab, so presumably it has cameras as well. Why not check the footage to see who's propping the door open? These people then get ONE warning. Second offense? Their card gets its lab access turned off. Need something that's only on the lab computers in order to pass the course? Tough shit.

They probably will. There are PLENTY of computers with free access available. Part of the reason behind the security access is to restrict it to students who are actually part of this particular school (in this case, it's the School of Education.). It was formerly only available to postgrad students (regardless of whether they were doing coursework or research degrees), now it's available to all education students.

The doors are also automatically locked after a certain time period anyway (at night) so if you're in there, you can get out, but you can't get back in. The time that this occurred was during the day though. Nearly all the locks on campus are keycard-based. There's a chip in your ID card (student or staff) that you can use to get in and out.

ETA: Someone finally spoke up about the talking in one of my lectures.

[Antisocial_Worker]

9 -- Steal the candy.

The other day I had to go in and talk to advisers to get ready for the upcoming summer session. After putting together a tentative schedule, I got shunted over to the financial aid section of the office. There had just been a shift change and the new girl was settling in behind the desk. While I waited, studying various meaningless plaques on the wall, I heard her call out to someone across the aisle to ask if they had any gum or candy.

The person she asked, asked her why she didn't have any at her own desk, to which she replied she'd stopped keeping candy at her desk after too many students dumped the entire bowl into their backpacks.

This means it happened more than once. Enough times, in fact, for her to get sick and tired of subsidizing someone else's sweet tooth.

[mathnerd]

Just after the 1812 Overture!

I know this is an older post, but my inner Know-It-All refuses to stay in her cage.

The 1812 Overture was written for the dedication of a Russian Cathedral and recounts Russia's involvement and eventual defeat of Napoleon in the Napoleonic Wars, and has absolutely nothing to do with the American War of 1812. If you listen carefully you will find various Russian folk music themes, Russian Orthodox chant melodies and the French and Russian national anthems, all intertwined to tell the story. Very little original composition is present in the entire piece as it is mostly a very creative arrangement of the above melodies.

Back to topic...

Don't use your school's computers in an attempt to purchase substances that are illegal in the country in which you reside, even if the website is based out of a country where said substances are illegal. You will find your computing privileges at the school revoked, which will make it very difficult to finish your coursework, especially if said coursework requires on campus computer lab time.

[catcul]

One of my instructors at a community college mentioned that she decided to leave teaching at the bigger university nearby to teach at the community college so that she could actually teach students who wanted to learn. She said she made this decision the day one of her students arrived into class in a bikini and on roller skates.

I guess that class wasn't during the winter semester.

[fireheart]

I guess that class wasn't during the winter semester.

Based on some of the folks I've seen on "Snog, Marry, Avoid?" I'm not surprised if it WAS during the winter semester.

[EricKei]

Aaaand speaking of hitting pedestrians...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oNpiWQO6UM >_<

[Antisocial_Worker]

10 -- Write the answers in the wrong language.

This one is all mine.

I should have taken Spanish in high school, I know, but the Spanish class at my high school was basically an adult daycare for Mexican migrant workers in their mid-20's who were looking for an easy A. They'd sit in the back (and some of them were as old as 27 years old) and fight with each other, and only the strongest survived in that class, especially considering that the teacher was moderately insane.

But no. Instead I took French, and live in a city where the top three languages spoken besides English are Spanish, Russian, and Chinese. There is no call for French. I never used it and thought I had forgotten it.

This was until I began taking Spanish this second go-round in college, however. I find that the French dislodges from the silt of my mind at the most inopportune times such as yesterday when I was cheerfully taking a Spanish test, only to realize when I finished that I had written about half of it in French.

Bugger all.