Public transport ettiquette

[fireheart]

A few things for my newfound brethren who travel on buses or trains in my newly adopted city.

-If you are from a bogan (redneck/trailer trash/chav) suburb, please avoid getting into full-on catfights ON the train...at least wait until you get off! (This particular instance was a woman ranting at a man, either her husband or brother, about how he was spending money on himself, but not on her. Made for one hell of an awkward train trip)

-Please don't scare the everloving crap out of me by wandering up to a bus station weeping, drinking what appears to be warm milk from the bottle and weeping and ranting at the same time. (This one came from the church nearby, sat at the bus station, realised that nobody was falling for her pity act and left)

-Please have your fare ready. Trains mitigate this a bit by requiring you to have a ticket to get to the platform (instead of validating it on the train, you use the ticket to get through the gate.) but for the love of god, don't hold us up!

-In a similar vein, if you are on the smartcard trial, PLEASE check if said bus accepts the smartcard. There are a number of routes that don't.

-One for the bus drivers themselves: if you are running substitute buses due to track maintenance, please try and turn up within 10 minutes of the train departing, not 30 minutes. Also,if you are driving a bus that is typically private charter, PLEASE put the aircon on at least! (stuffy bus trip = tired fireheart)

-And finally, if you are going to rant about the conditions of said bus/train, please do it AWAY from the bus driver and other passengers!

[Blue Ginger]

A few extras:
-You are not supposed to marinate yourself in perfume. Two quick sprays is normally enough before you leave the house. 1 bottle should last longer than 1 week. - saw a girl spray herself 5 times in a 25 minute tube trip, 6 sprays around her body each time. She probably should have gotten the hint when people were actually vacating seats around her during peak time.

-Same goes for nail polish. It smells, stop using it on the train/bus.

-It's great that you are a smoker, but for F's sake, exhale it before getting on the bus/train. You aren't allowed to smoke on public transport for a reason.

-Remember that you are in a public place. That means you should stop talking about confidential info, especially if you are a lawyer and talking about a high profile case.

-And no one wants to hear how big that guy was last night or a second by second account of how he rocked your world or how your vibrator was better than the guy the night before. (All overheard on the tube).

[fireheart]

Oh, one more.

-Please don't block the entrance to the carriage if you're travelling on the train. And also please don't hold loud conversations about how you're going to cut some random person's hair...

[Sheldonrs]

And if you are on your phone, please remember it is a TELEphone, not a MEGAphone. YOU DO NOT NEED TO YELL INTO IT!!! The person on the other end can hear you even if you can't.

[Blue Ginger]

And don't keep yelling 'can you hear me?' when the train is in a tunnel. They can't, there is no service underground.

[greek_jester]

saw a girl spray herself 5 times in a 25 minute tube trip, 6 sprays around her body each time. She probably should have gotten the hint when people were actually vacating seats around her during peak time.

Actually, it sounds like a pretty smart strategy to me, particularly if she's careful to keep if off her clothes; marinate on the train to get some space to stretch out, then wash it off in the loo at work and spritz a normal amount on before leaving the bathroom.

[BlaqueKatt]

Actually, it sounds like a pretty smart strategy to me, <snipity>to get some space to stretch out

I found knitting to work effectively enough, and I didn't risk* anyone's health.

*asthmatics, people with fragrance sensitivities or pseudo-allergies**

**pseudo-allergies are very real physiological reactions similar to and sometimes as serious as conventional allergies, but without the immune system involvement/response, which means antihistamines and other conventional allergy medications/treatments have no effect. One of my friends has an anaphalactiod response to fragrances.

[darkroxas45]

-Remember that you are in a public place. That means you should stop talking about confidential info, especially if you are a lawyer and talking about a high profile case.

Technically couldn't you go to the court and mention that? Idk if it is different rules for Lawyers and Jury but we were told NOT to talk about the case or even do any independent research.

[Dreamstalker]

Depends on if they give away enough for you to tell which court (town/state/federal) and their name or the name(s) of anyone involved.

I've heard people giving credit card info over the phone on the subway/bus...if not every little detail, enough to be able to figure out the rest.

[prjkt]

I'm glad I'm not on public transport anymore...

People that smelled like they slept in an ashtray and bathed in sweat, as above, far too much perfume/deodorant/whatever - I really have issues breathing in close proximities to such people

One guy got really offended when I started coughing the moment he was next to me;

"What's your f*cking problem"

"You *cough* smell *cough* like a f*cking *cough* ash tray" *coughing fit*

[Sapphire Silk]

Technically couldn't you go to the court and mention that? Idk if it is different rules for Lawyers and Jury but we were told NOT to talk about the case or even do any independent research.

Jurors are not supposed to research cases because they could prejudice themselves at the trial.

Lawyers are different . . . though the information is still confidential, and could violate the attorney client privilege if you're talking to your client on the phone.

[Pagan]

And if you are on your phone, please remember it is a TELEphone, not a MEGAphone. YOU DO NOT NEED TO YELL INTO IT!!! The person on the other end can hear you even if you can't.

And there is no "Cone of Silence" that comes down over you. And for the love of the deity of your choice, take it off of speaker!

[Seanette]

And quit using it to blast "music" at everyone around you!!! Your taste in music would suck even if played through a DECENT speaker!

[MoonCat]

Also, if there are empty seats on the bus/train/whatever, SIT YOUR DAMN ASS DOWN!!! and stop blocking the aisle and the doors!!!

If your clothes smell like a pride of lions pissed on them, STAY OFF THE BUS! Damn near got asphixiated by some old fool TWICE in the last week (the same guy). I can't stand the 6-week-old-ashtray stench either, but this guy made my eyes water, it was that bad.

One more: Keep your dirty feet off the seat, and DON'T sit sideways with your knee poking out onto the seat next to you. That's fine when there's very few people on the bus, but not when it starts to fill up. Same goes for your suitcase-size handbag, your backpack, etc. Keep it on your lap or on the floor. You paid for ONE seat, not two!

[Sliceanddice]

*asthmatics, people with fragrance sensitivities or pseudo-allergies**

**pseudo-allergies are very real physiological reactions similar to and sometimes as serious as conventional allergies, but without the immune system involvement/response, which means antihistamines and other conventional allergy medications/treatments have no effect. One of my friends has an anaphalactiod response to fragrances.

you forgot real allergies anything thats more than esscential oils and alcohol causes me to get a rash, constricted airways and a immune system responce hence slicey does not even go into her mother room on sundays