birds birds birds!!!

[Sliceanddice]

i drove to Tucson with mama slicey for here retina specialist (because mommy is unable to take care of herself) so after threatening her with nerdy music is she tried to change the radio station from my country music and explaining why i get to choose the radio station: I am the one driving and she can pick the radio station once she can drive her self to Tucson and back she can pick the station (spoiler alert thats at least a cataract surgery away from not happening)[side note: i know it sounds bitchy but do you know how many time i've had to listen to 'Lets take a selfie' and 'Royals' and crap like that because she would not let me listening to music i actually like] we drove up without a hitch enjoying the very green landscape of a summer rain drenched desert and had a very uneventual day unless you count the second hand book store i love mysteriously being Batman free and crushing my tiny tiny heart.

until we are driving home.

we are somewhere between Whetstone and Huachuca city and suddenly there is this bird.

I have time to think this
"Oh hey its a bird"
"Is it come towards me?"
"OMG ITS NOT GOING TO SWERVE!!!!!!!"
close my eyes so i dont have to see the death cause there is no time for me to swerve and not hit it. Then there is a Bump and my mom say in surprised "was that a bird?" and she starts laughing at me cause i ma shaking a bit
"why did it have to commit suicide with me" but if it was meimei she would be on the side of the road crying her eyes out cause she has a tender heart.

[XCashier]

the second hand book store i love mysteriously being Batman free and crushing my tiny tiny heart.

That wouldn't be Bookman's, would it? I miss those stores.

"Oh hey its a bird"
"Is it come towards me?"
"OMG ITS NOT GOING TO SWERVE!!!!!!!"
"why did it have to commit suicide with me"

They do that, and yes, you do have to wonder why. I once had a flock of starlings fly right in front of my car, so I slowed down to let them pass. They pass, I speeded back up, and they circled around to swoop in front of my car again! Sadly, I hit three of them before I could slow down again.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I was driving along with my boyfriend, doing last minute errands before going to drive down to Otakon. I saw this beautiful heron, and then I saw the dump truck near where it was taking off.

This was the sound series my boyfriend was treated to.
"Oooooooh--- GASP----inconsolable crying."
Poor thing got clipped as it was trying to gain altitude. I was crying for a bit after that, even though boyfriend tried to speed up to get me away from both the soon to be corpse and the dump truck.

[Sliceanddice]

That wouldn't be Bookman's, would it? I miss those stores.

yes bookmans im going to miss them too when im in montana.

i love books...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I once had a flock of starlings fly right in front of my car, so I slowed down to let them pass. They pass, I speeded back up, and they circled around to swoop in front of my car again! Sadly, I hit three of them before I could slow down again.

No offense to anybody saddened by this, but I would consider that a good start.

Starlings are nuisance birds if there ever were any. They nest near the receiving door at the swamp so they occasionally fly inside the store when the door is opened, fly around so we can't put on the motion detectors at night until they're out of the store. They shit all over everything and as often as not they just die someplace inside the store so it smells like rotting flesh.

If only there was some way to get them out of there that doesn't involve shooting them....

[BearLeeBadenaugh]

I dunno if it would work with starlings, but I cleared a cupola of pigeons using a couple pounds of seed corn and a couple bottles of everclear. Soak the corn in the booze, scatter, and wait until the pigeons are drunk. It's real easy to get em with a fishing net then.

Kept em in a large cardboard box until we replaced the screens, then poured out the plastered pigeons and watched em stumble around the lawn.

[prjkt]

Did have a magpie try to play chicken with my front tyre once.

Unfortunately for him, my tyre won.

[bhskittykatt]

I hit a pigeon recently. I figured it would be smart enough to get out of the road. His buddy was. He wasn't.

I also saw a small bird death recently. It flew out low across the road and went headfirst right into the side of the tire of the van in front of me. It promptly bounced off and plopped down, dead. It was such a bird-brained moment (see what I did there?), I actually laughed.

(As for the car radio, I was told growing up that when I was the one driving, I could pick the radio station. Somehow after I got my license, this was amended to I could pick the station when I was the one driving and was owning my own vehicle and paying the insurance and maint on it. )

[protege]

I made a mess of my grandmother's car because of birds. Not my fault...

As I was driving her home in her '95 Olds Cutlass Ciera, there was a large flock of birds flying parallel to the highway. I'm doing about 55-60mph, going with traffic. As I start to come around a curve, the entire flock suddenly turns to the right, as I'm about to pass them. If you've never had the pleasure of seeing birds bounce off your bumper, hood, windshield, and roof, you don't know what you're missing How the glass didn't shatter, I have no idea. But, I did end up spending 2 hours washing bird guts and blood off the car

[Ophbalance]

Last summer, as I was returning from some errand, I was driving home from the local town just down the road apiece.

I'm driving down a small hill (it's NC, we only do small hills) and notice a buzzard in the middle of my driving lane. And this is pretty much the diatribe going through my mind.

Me: *lifts foot off gas*... huh, that's a big un. Move it buzzard
-- car keeps rolling, bird keeps not moving --
Me: *foot now lightly riding the brake*... well go on and move you dumb thing.
-- car keeps rolling, bird keeps not moving --
Me: *foot now NOT lightly riding the brake, but putting some real pressure into it*... good Lord MOVE already you stupid bird
-- car keeps rolling, bird keeps not moving --
Bird: *THROWS OPEN FULL WING SPAN!* MARVEL AT MY GREATNESS!!
Me: *PANIC STOP!!!!*... sweet mother of GOD, look at the wings on that thing! Holy shit, it's bigger than my CAR.
Bird: FUCK YOU PUNY HOOOOOOOOOMAN, I SHALL NOW MAKE HASTE FOR THE SKY!

Having never seen a buzzard that close before, they have an impressive wingspan on them (to say the least).

[Cia]

Pheasants make a really loud banging sound when you hit them and then they bounce. Birds aren't meant to bounce like that.

[XCashier]

yes bookmans im going to miss them too when im in montana.

i love books...

Me too. Fortunately, I found some great bookstores / chains in this state, so maybe Montana has some, too. I would think larger cities like Billings would have some good bookstores, or ones nearby state universities. Where in Montana are you moving to? (Gonna raise a crop of dental floss? )

[AccountingDrone]

I made a mess of my grandmother's car because of birds. Not my fault...

As I was driving her home in her '95 Olds Cutlass Ciera, there was a large flock of birds flying parallel to the highway. I'm doing about 55-60mph, going with traffic. As I start to come around a curve, the entire flock suddenly turns to the right, as I'm about to pass them. If you've never had the pleasure of seeing birds bounce off your bumper, hood, windshield, and roof, you don't know what you're missing How the glass didn't shatter, I have no idea. But, I did end up spending 2 hours washing bird guts and blood off the car

this was a tom turkey splatting the passenger side of the windshield.

[An Haddock]

Was driving through our speedline (read: elevated electric train) parking lot years ago with my old Dodge Challenger. Couple of pigeons on the blacktop ahead of me.

Normally these birds are smart enough to avoid humans. They're around cars constantly.

I guess this one failed his vision test or the pigeon equivalent of the SAT's because dumbass just sat there as I drove over him. His buddy had the sense to take off. A later examination of the car revealed a few feathers lodged in the grille.



Another time I was driving on a semi-major highway nearby and this stupid ass big fat raccoon came ambling out from a cemetery right next to the highway. As I was driving by. Doing 60.

There was a slight *thunk* and fortunately no damage done to my car, but I was going so fast I had no way to avoid the dumb son of a bitch. I barely saw it before I hit the thing. I can only assume at that speed it must have 'sploded.

[bhskittykatt]

I guess this one failed his vision test or the pigeon equivalent of the SAT's because dumbass just sat there as I drove over him. His buddy had the sense to take off. A later examination of the car revealed a few feathers lodged in the grille.

That was exactly what happened when I hit the pigeon! I didn't see where he landed but I had to have hit him. Probably landed in the tall grass and got eaten by an eagle later (the eagles out there have a taste for seagulls and pigeons). It was just like, why did you not move?!?

Another time I was driving on a semi-major highway nearby and this stupid ass big fat raccoon came ambling out from a cemetery right next to the highway. As I was driving by. Doing 60.

There was a slight *thunk* and fortunately no damage done to my car, but I was going so fast I had no way to avoid the dumb son of a bitch. I barely saw it before I hit the thing. I can only assume at that speed it must have 'sploded.

I was only doing about 20. A small family of raccoons were crossing the street, and one of the juvenilles lagged behind. I saw the family cross but this little guy ended up bolting out right in front of me!

I drove clear over him and checked on him in my rearview. He rolled about three times, then jumped up and bolted up a tree. Phew!