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We have moose around here with special powers, mind control powers, that cause people around them to simultaneously forget driving and safety rules, and become uncontrollably enthusiastic photographers. Today I saw their king.
In the last year here I have seen deer, bears, foxes, wolves, a brindle boxer, bald eagles, blue jays, a cougar, salamanders, el caminos, snakes, and some breathtaking scenery, all more photogenic than moose. Still somehow without fail, if you go around the blind corner of a narrow 80km/h road and find seven cars pulled 1/2 over with the people who are supposed to be driving nearby taking photos, you can bet the farm, there will be a moose nearby.
Leaving town to the south there is a number of bridges which are being rebuilt, so they are all down to one lane, with stoplights at each end. As I approach I get the yellow, so I stop. As the other side gets the green they proceed through, with the lead car stopping in the middle of the bridge. With the 4 cars behind sitting stuck on the one lane bridge, with concrete barriers on both side and nowhere to go. The car sits there, while my light goes through green, yellow, red. As my light gets to green again the couple gets out of the car, heads to the side, and starts taking pictures. I look over, and sure enough, there is the moose, eating swamp plants and controlling minds. As the cars stuck on the bridge and the cars behind me start honking, the wife waves everyone off, as if they are somehow being a nuisance. As my light continues through three cycles green, yellow, red, I notice the man in the second car back get out of his car, and he walks over and murders the couple with a hammer. No, really, he starts taking pictures of this moose too. As if this is what we are meant to be doing right now. This particular moose was that good.
I gave up, U-turn, and decide to drive north for a bit, before turning south. I returned to town about 9 hours later, and everyone had moved on, so I assume people stood there taking pictures until the light gave out, then carried on with their lives.
Bonus Entitled Lady, No Moose Involved
When you are finally at the head of the line, and there are six other people waiting in line behind you, after your purchases are rung up you go 'Oh, I need to get a gift card for Tony' and meander off, everyone in line is silently hating you. When you return minutes later, your gift card is rung up, and then you go 'Oh, shit, I really should get Amy one too', and wander off again, that glance the ten total strangers now in line behind you exchanged was us telepathically planning to lynch you, just FYI. By the time you got back again the plan was pretty detailed, we had steps, maps and code words, all communicated mentally, that's how much we were hating you at that moment. DON"T DO THAT AGAIN!
In the last year here I have seen deer, bears, foxes, wolves, a brindle boxer, bald eagles, blue jays, a cougar, salamanders, el caminos, snakes, and some breathtaking scenery, all more photogenic than moose. Still somehow without fail, if you go around the blind corner of a narrow 80km/h road and find seven cars pulled 1/2 over with the people who are supposed to be driving nearby taking photos, you can bet the farm, there will be a moose nearby.
Leaving town to the south there is a number of bridges which are being rebuilt, so they are all down to one lane, with stoplights at each end. As I approach I get the yellow, so I stop. As the other side gets the green they proceed through, with the lead car stopping in the middle of the bridge. With the 4 cars behind sitting stuck on the one lane bridge, with concrete barriers on both side and nowhere to go. The car sits there, while my light goes through green, yellow, red. As my light gets to green again the couple gets out of the car, heads to the side, and starts taking pictures. I look over, and sure enough, there is the moose, eating swamp plants and controlling minds. As the cars stuck on the bridge and the cars behind me start honking, the wife waves everyone off, as if they are somehow being a nuisance. As my light continues through three cycles green, yellow, red, I notice the man in the second car back get out of his car, and he walks over and murders the couple with a hammer. No, really, he starts taking pictures of this moose too. As if this is what we are meant to be doing right now. This particular moose was that good.
I gave up, U-turn, and decide to drive north for a bit, before turning south. I returned to town about 9 hours later, and everyone had moved on, so I assume people stood there taking pictures until the light gave out, then carried on with their lives.
Bonus Entitled Lady, No Moose Involved
When you are finally at the head of the line, and there are six other people waiting in line behind you, after your purchases are rung up you go 'Oh, I need to get a gift card for Tony' and meander off, everyone in line is silently hating you. When you return minutes later, your gift card is rung up, and then you go 'Oh, shit, I really should get Amy one too', and wander off again, that glance the ten total strangers now in line behind you exchanged was us telepathically planning to lynch you, just FYI. By the time you got back again the plan was pretty detailed, we had steps, maps and code words, all communicated mentally, that's how much we were hating you at that moment. DON"T DO THAT AGAIN!
That's what I would have felt like doing, too. Without knowing where you are geographically, I have to say these stories remind me of what my step-brother says Montana is like. His in-laws live there, so I've always taken the stories with a grain of salt because instead of a nice vacation someplace warm, he's forced to spend weeks on a working farm. Heh.
They ARE stunning, but hey, social contract on driving trumps that ANY day.
I AM the evil bastard!
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