Never Thought I'd Say It...

[unholypet]

...but fuck the police.




At least around my little towns.


ROUND ONE! FIGHT!!!

So, I'm sitting at a stop sign.. traffic ahead of me goes left and right... cop is parked in a parking lot to me left, a lane away.

I wait for traffic, and get halfway across the first lane, going right, to get on the second lane, going left when...

The policeman has his brakes on, SQUEALS THE SHIT out of his tires, nearly rams the side of my car when he breaks again, which makes him fishtail, then drive around the front of my car (still tailing in the back) and goes down the road to yell:

Cop: Hey! Steve! I got your call, man! Let's head to the (local bar) in an hour!!

So, I use my memory and call to complain about him.
Phone Lady: Oh, #XXX XXX is the Sheriff, you can't complain about him *click*

DEFEAT


ROUND TWO! FIGHT!!!

I am driving the 35 speed limit, when a cop with his emergency flashers comes behind me. This is a road with ditches on both sides stretching for miles, and I cannot pull over, so I slow down and go as far to the side as I can, and start to stop. Cop lay on the horn.

BEEEEEP BEEP BEEPBEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- etc.

So, I stop. He stops, keeps beeping. So.. I sit there, confused, while he beeps, and stick my head out the window shrugging. He waves for me to go...

Start driving on, slowly, he is beeping at me non-stop... emergency flashers going. I go the speed limit, it changes to 45, so I do...

And then I get to a parking lot, where he stops me.

Cop: Yeah, I just really didn't want to stop at my brother's house. Next time just speed up when you see police flashers.

I gawk, and watch him drive off. Calling to complain, again, tells me Frederick is a good man *click*

DEFEAT!

ROUND THREE! FINISH!

Someone touched the silent alarm at work. We waited 35min. for a call. Nothing.

One hour goes by before the police office calls, and we explain it was an accident. They say they have to send a car over anyway, because of safety in case we're being held up. No problem!

Later, pizza driver leaves on a delivery. When he comes back, police show up after three hours... the damn station is half a street away. Pizza driver is questioned...

Cop: Are you robbing the store?
PD: Uh.. I work here.
Cop: Okay, just don't do it again.

...what.

CONFUSION!

[Aethian]

Uh...er...hrm... *stares vacantly*

[unholypet]

Speechless ;_;

[Bella_Vixen]

I'm going to borrow Becks' -a-thon.

[Trayol]

There are too many levels of failure for my brain to form a better response than:

Can you call the nearby state police headquarters and report this?

[Lachrymose]

These sound straight out of Super Troopers!

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

There's a Police Complaint Center, but I don't know if they actually do anything. Should definitely report them to someone. And keep a record. I think those dispatches are recorded (though I don't know for sure).

[ditchdj]

Perhaps the state police would like to hear about it. From what I recall (during the civil rights era) hick towns in the south that took it upon themselves to make their own laws on a whim the way they saw fit found the National Guard and the Feds all over their asses.

[unholypet]

While the State Troopers do come by (once every seven months), they warn the stations they're coming, and merely do patrol.

I have lodged complaints with the state several times. If they ever did anything, there's been no notice from me, and I'm sure I'd never be contacted about it.

EDIT: Sorry:

found the National Guard and the Feds all over their asses.

A lot of them are IN the local National Guard post, and zippidy-doo-dah again.

[Sheldonrs]

Sounds more like "Reno 911".

[PepperElf]

Phone Lady: Oh, #XXX XXX is the Sheriff, you can't complain about him *click*

says who

I'd say... if the system won't let you complain, well they don't own the local newspapers. And there's always the state police.

I'm sure they'll be like if they get complaint coming down from someone above them

[unholypet]

I'd say... if the system won't let you complain, well they don't own the local newspapers. And there's always the state police.

Believe me, I've tried the state. Nothing's changed =/

As for the newspaper, let me merely convey that I live in a very very small town-area. The two writers worked my job once, the editor is related to the lady-who-works-behind-me (and is married to the police dispatcher's mother), and their photographer's family is 4% of the local police >_<

[ditchdj]

I can see why you have that look on your face in your avatar.

[unholypet]

I can see why you have that look on your face in your avatar.

LOL! Same for you, Mr. Simon Grumpy! XD

[Talon]

You know, where I grew up there was an old joke. If you call the cops to report your car has been stolen, they'll reply "Sorry sir we have no transport, can you come and pick us up?"

That might have been more funny if one of the local drug dealers hadn't set up shop across from a primary school, and half a block from the local police precinct.