I Think His Viagara died at the light . . .

[DGoddessChardonnay]

*still wiping eyes from laughing too hard at blas' ED post*

And speaking of Erectile Dysfunction folks, let me tell you about the dangers of letting your Viagara peter out at a stoplight. . . .

Mom and I are on the way home (she had picked me up at work around 3) and we're toodling along Summit Avenue heading toward home. Traffic isn't too bad this time of day, unless you get stuck behind a school bus. Luckily we didnt' get caught behind any this afternoon.

We get past where the two lanes of Summit split (the northbound lane goes underneath an overpass which is at the end of Phillips Avenue, just past the local CBS affiliate tv station) and the southbound lane goes up a hill and there's a left turn lane with a light where Phillips runs into it.

Mom gets the car into the lane and it was backed up 4 cars. Normally it's not that long of a line, but also when the sun is headed downward in late afternoon, it puts a glare on the turn signal that makes it hard to see the light at times. The light was green, so we were hoping everyone would just make their turn and move.

It wasn't quite that time of day yet . . . but we heard every car in front of us blowing their horns. We were too far back (and also in a small compact car it's hard to see past other vehicles) to see what was going on, but we were suspecting somebody was just sitting there at the light and not moving.

No sooner did the big Dodge Ram in front of us blow his horn, he crossed over the median that separates the left turn lane from the turning lane that you take from Phillips Avenue to get onto Summit and gunned it across and scooted across in front of the traffic to make his turn.

Yep . . . moron in an SUV, lights on and just sitting there at the light. Not moving and in the meantime the light had turned red again.

While everyone else is still sitting there, probably thinking of a way to commit murder and get away with it, Mom checks the rearview. Nothing was coming on our right, so she scooted over into the straight lane and we simply sailed past the line to turn at the next crossing so we could scoot up to Phillips from the opposite direction.

No blinkers, no hazard lights, no hood propped up . . . no indication that the vehicle was broke down.

I wonder if that idiot is still sitting there at that light . . .

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

His Viagra died at the light, you say?

I guess that means it...peter-ed out.

[Kogarashi]

This reminds me of a time when my mom, aunt, and I were out and about on a Sunday morning. We'd gone to another aunt's church about an hour away to sing a song, and were on our way back home to make it to the last portion of our own church's meeting block.

We were about five to ten minutes away from the meetinghouse when we came to a one-lane bridge (it's since been widened to two lanes). Since two directions of traffic cross this bridge, there was a traffic light at both ends to regulate the cars going across. One lane would get the green while the other waited, then the light would change and the other lane would get to go. Since this was a very rural area, it was more efficient to set up the traffic lights so that they changed when the sensors picked up the presence of cars waiting, rather than being on a timer.

The light for our side was red when we approached, so we got in a line of about three cars. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. In the amount of time we waited, the light should have changed at least three times, especially since there was only the occasional car coming from the opposite direction.

That's when we noticed that the lead car in line was sitting more than a car-length behind the stop line, far enough back that they weren't triggering the sensors. And as we watched, a little trickle of smoke wafted up from the driver's window, followed by a hand reaching out to flick ashes off of a cigarette.

Yes, we were all stuck behind someone who had decided to have a Sunday morning cigarette break in the middle of the road.

At about that point, the driver of the car immediately in front of us climbed out and approached the smoker's car, made a few gestures to the sensors in the road, and then went back to his own car as the idiot finally pulled his car forward. No sooner had the lead car graced the road sensors than the light finally changed, and we were all free to go.

But I can't help but wonder how long we would have been left sitting there had no one actually gotten out to point out the lead driver's idiocy (or, to be generous, cluelessness).

[freeatlast]

In the town where I live, there is an exit from one of the grocery stores going out onto the heaviest travelled street in town. There is a big white line to pull up to, which make you set off the sensors. If you don't pull up to the line, the light will not change. One day, I had stopped at that store to pick up something on my way to work. When I pulled into the line waiting to turn, we sat and sat and sat some more and the light didn't change. Then I realized that the car at the front was nowhere near the line, so he hadn't hit the sensors. I finally pulled over into the other lane and turned right. I then turned left into another parking lot and circled around and out onto the street. When I went through the light in front of the grocery, all of the other cars had followed my lead, and the dumbass at the front of the line was ..... still.....sitting.....there

[blas]

I specifically remember being 16 years old, a fresh brand new driver's license in my purse, enjoying my newfound privilege......and being stuck at a GREEN light behind some old fart who fell asleep.

This was my hometown, so there was only one straight lane at this intersection. I sat through that entire session with him, and the next time it turned green, I backed up and went around him. He still sat there, sleeping.

[Kogarashi]

Wow, tigerlily, deja vu. ::shiver:: Aside from the horn honking, I'd swear you were stuck at the same bridge as me.