Wednesday's Pop Quiz!

[blas]

Cuz you guys love these so much!

Get your pencils handy!

Now, it's the Morning Suicide Rush on the freeway at about 7:55 am. As per usual, as per every day, everyone is late and thinking only of themsleves and trying to go 80+ mph to make it to work.

Add in some rain. A lot of rain. Mix it with the high speeds of the freeway, it's to where you have to have your windshield wipers on the highest setting, or closest to it.

Sometimes the freeway gets so backed up because of the general traffic, other times because of the weather and smart people driving with their brains (opting to go 65 instead of 75, for instance).....you can see where this is going.

The right lane is clogged up worse than a hairy bathtub clog, the nasty snot/soap/hairball kind. Everyone in the right lane is crawling. Even the ones annoyed with going the actual speed limit don't dare go into the left lane because traffic in the left lane is going so fast, you probably won't see someone coming from behind you in time.

Enter idiot merging onto freeway. Attempting to merge as fast as possible, into a clogged right hand lane, and no one in the right hand lane can move over because 1) it's hard to see because of the rain and 2) traffic in the left lane is going so fast, no one wants to take a chance.

I just happened to be the last car in the right lane before this motorized moron got towards the end of the merge lane.

Did he:

A) Let off the gas and ease his way into the right lane
B) Let off the gas, ease his way into the right lane, then pass when safe
C) Keep attempting to merge as quick as possible, nearly clipping off the back end of my car
D) Keep attempting to merge as quick as possible, nearly clipping off the back end of my car AND then tailgated me so close I couldn't even see his headlights (not that idiots like that ever have them ON when it's raining!) and kept doing so until the exit, where he then honked at me to go when I couldn't because I didn't have enough time to clear traffic.

If you guessed C, close but no cigar. D is the right answer.

Look, I fully advocate merging at the appropriate speed in completely dry conditions and when traffic is moving along swiftly. If you try to merge at 50 mph on a dry, sunny day and you are the reason everyone starts to scramble and freak out, I'm going to be VERY mad at you. If the weather and roads and traffic are ideal, merge at the correct speed limit. But in bad weather, poor visibility, and slow traffic situations, don't you dare EVER, EVER, EVER try to merge as fast as you can and try to cut people off, especially when you've shown you don't even have the balls to get into the other lane and pass once you've failed at cutting me off!

Sometimes, you have to let off the gas to merge properly, sometimes you gotta brake, sometimes you gotta gun it. This was one of those times where you let off the gas and find the right moment to let yourself in. DO NOT gun it and see if you can cut me off.

And by the way, moron...when it's raining and poor visibility, turn on your fucking headlights. People like you are obviously the reason newer model cars come with automatic lights.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Too bad there's no option E: Keep attempting to merge as quickly as possible, be forced to slam on your brakes, get rear-ended by the semi behind you that's hydroplaning all over the place, and die in a fire.

[blas]

I like option E, but that poor trucker really wouldn't deserve to lose his job or be faulted for something like that.

[protege]

D sounds like what nearly happened to *me* not long ago...

As usual, I take the parkway to work. It's faster than attempting to cut across Pittsburgh at its widest point. Traffic usually moves quickly--I've had people literally pass me like I was standing still--even at 70mph Because traffic tends to move, I usually get into the far left lane, and stay there. Too many ramps and slow-moving trucks on the right. Plus, the far right lane eventually goes off towards I-579.

The day this all happened, was pretty much the same. Traffic was moving along at a good clip, until we approached the "Allegheny County Country Club" (aka the prison). Not sure why, but everything seems to slow right here. Most people know this, and usually slow to below 55. Too many ramps and tourists (all of whom can't drive worth a damn ). Keep in mind too, that you actually go through a short tunnel, with a few closely-placed ramps on the left. (At this point, I've already moved into the far right lane.)

As I'm going with traffic (55mph or slower), this dipshit in a Dodge SUV come roaring down one of the left-hand ramps. But, rather than stay in the left lane, he decides to force his way into the middle lane. As he's trying to do that, someone further ahead...suddenly hits the brakes. Both cars in that lane slam on the brakes...but the SUV is going too fast

He nearly tipped his vehicle over but not before swerving into *my* lane about a half-carlength ahead and nearly clipping the wall! As if that wasn't enough...the SUV-driving moron then cut me off too! Good thing I wasn't going fast, and was back far enough

Let's just say that when I got the chance to pass, I wasn't the only car that gave him the "Pittsburgh Salute," nor was I the only one to tell him "you could have killed someone! Learn to fucking drive!"

What can I say, other than it pisses me off that I, along with several other people, could have been *seriously* injured or killed, simply because some dipshit was in a hurry

[mikoyan29]

It's really funny when you have someone driving like an ass like that get off at the same exit as you only to be 1 or 2 cars ahead of you and waiting at the light. Wow.....all your little maneuvers saved you a whole ...nothing....

[protege]

Oh, it's hilarious I've had people literally blow past me on the highway...only to pull up to them at the next light. If they're *really* lucky, I get to see them pulled over too

For example, I was taking my grandmother back home one afternoon. We're maybe 15 miles from the farm...when some redneck in a beat-up Taurus went flying past me. Keep in mind that I'm in her car, doing about 70mph on I-79. That Taurus had to be doing 90 and then some

He got what was coming--there was a state trooper sitting on the median...who promptly put the blues on, and pulled him over

[lupo pazzesco]

If I failed the quiz, can I have extra credit at the end of the term, somehow... I dun want my grades to slip. >.>

[slavetotheman]

Let's just say that when I got the chance to pass, I wasn't the only car that gave him the "Pittsburgh New Jersey Salute,"

There... fixed that for ya

I've had more than my share of similar instances. My favorite recent episode was driving along I-78 at night. Picture it: 3 lanes heading westward, it was lightly raining, and the only two vehicles within sight were me, going around 70 mph in the right-hand lane and an 18-wheeler in the middle lane, just about starting to pass me (probably doing a good 75-80 mph or so). Oh, right, and a late-model Buick parked on the shoulder/breakdown lane about 200 yd down the road. Whose brake lights had just gone off, and it appeared the car was starting to move. Slowly. Certainly he wasn't going to merge into my lane when there was clearly nobody behind me for at least a quarter mile... right? Well, we wouldn't be reading this monologue here if I had any well-placed faith in humanity, now would we? Thank God the driver of the semi saw this colossal fail unfolding and moved over to the left-hand lane in time for me to get around the turdmonger with a death wish. He couldn't have been going more than 45 mph when I went past.

They say defensive driving is operating under the assumption that everyone on the road is a blithering idiot. I call it "realistic" driving.

[bean]

Last night I was doing 45 on a road where people usually do 50-55 (speed limit is 40). I had a car passing me on the right going a little faster than me, so I had no room to move over.

Someone pulled into the median to turn left onto my side of the road. No problem. Except.. they .. slowly.. edged.. out.. in.. front.. of.. me. I flashed my lights when I saw them starting to edge out. No dice.

I wound up slamming on my brakes (locking them up) and laying on the horn. They moved over once the car next to me blew past them (that car was also laying on their horn), then greeted me with their high beams as soon as I passed them. I wound up coming damn close to hitting them as they pulled out, and they got a Dallas Salute<tm> out the window.

Of course, she was yakking away on her fucking phone when I passed her.

I hate Dallas drivers so much.

[blas]

Well now, don't I feel silly. Protege pointed out the best point of all. When those idiots end up at the same red light or intersection as you, therefore, not having saved any time.

After turning off the freeway this morning back onto the main drag, I was going to take the next immediate right to a gas station, and moron was going straight. He had a red light. I turned right before he did. So he really saved a TON of time nearly cutting me off and tailgating me!

But I'm sure it was somehow my fault the light was red. I didn't get the chance to see the light turn green and see him whizz off and weave in and out of traffic.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

It's really funny when you have someone driving like an ass like that get off at the same exit as you only to be 1 or 2 cars ahead of you and waiting at the light. Wow.....all your little maneuvers saved you a whole ...nothing....

This happens here in Greensboro *EVERY* FREAKING DAY.

Some idiot (aka Mr./Ms. OMGI'minahurryandgottagetthereorwe'rellagonnadie) has to zoom past everybody in the lane.

Boner points if it's on a road (such as Church St. which is the road that takes me to the Litter Box) that has a solid yellow line on both sides (meaning NO passing at all, but morons still do this, as they are so special)

(More boner points if they're afflicted with "Cellphoneitis.")

Whiz past peple, play "Chicken" with the vehicles on the other side of the road, darting in and out of the lane only to be caught at the next red light.

That's what I call Self-Pwnage there.

Even more amusing: these idiots don't get it. They drive like a damn lunatic whose ass is on fire only to have to slam on brakes at the next light because it's went to red. They got no further that they would have otherwise.