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Wrong lane, buttbrain

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  • Wrong lane, buttbrain

    To the fuckling in the silver Cobalt in front of me as I was coming home from work:

    Yes, the street is kinda screwed up because some (probably unnecessary) road work is being done. How observant of you to notice the cones marking the temporary traffic lanes until all the work is done.

    However, because you are unobservant/stupid/got your drivers license out of a box of Frosted Flakes or from Big Stu's Driving Skool-O-Rama And Cow Methane Distributor, you drove to the left of the cones.

    Thus, you were driving down the street in the wrong lane. And you forced a couple oncoming vehicles to stop and throw it in reverse so you could get through.

    Please turn in your license and sell your car. It's too good for an imbecile such as yourself. I don't even think I'd trust you with feet.

    (Un)Happily Motoring,
    Irv
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
    Thus, you were driving down the street in the wrong lane. And you forced a couple oncoming vehicles to stop and throw it in reverse so you could get through.
    In a situation like that, I'd stop but NOT back up - he caused the problem, he can fix it. On the other hand, I might try backing up but "forget" which vehicle I'm driving (#1 has reverse at the forward position of the left gate, which is 1st gear on #2, while #2 has reverse at the rear position of the right gate, which is 4th gear on #1).

    Of course, with vehicle #1 I definitely wouldn't back up - not only is it far more intimidating that asshat's Cobalt, but it's a bitch to back up, and I wouldn't be able to see the innocent person behind me (normal situation when you've got a 53 foot dry van).
    Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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    • #3
      Quoth wolfie View Post
      In a situation like that, I'd stop but NOT back up - he caused the problem, he can fix it. On the other hand, I might try backing up but "forget" which vehicle I'm driving (#1 has reverse at the forward position of the left gate, which is 1st gear on #2, while #2 has reverse at the rear position of the right gate, which is 4th gear on #1).

      Of course, with vehicle #1 I definitely wouldn't back up - not only is it far more intimidating that asshat's Cobalt, but it's a bitch to back up, and I wouldn't be able to see the innocent person behind me (normal situation when you've got a 53 foot dry van).
      I had one idiot try to drive in one of the exits to our parking lot. It is a narrow exit designed for right turns only. The idiot eventually decided to try to drive in the exit with me still in the way. A Civic Hatchback vs my SUV. The moron eventually left after about 45 seconds of laying on the horn.

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      • #4
        Quoth mattm04 View Post
        I had one idiot try to drive in one of the exits to our parking lot. It is a narrow exit designed for right turns only. The idiot eventually decided to try to drive in the exit with me still in the way. A Civic Hatchback vs my SUV. The moron eventually left after about 45 seconds of laying on the horn.
        Had someone do that near my grandmother's farm. Usually, when I've been out, I like to take the back roads. So as usual, we were heading up a hill...when some redneck in a minivan decided she didn't want to wait. I'm trying to get Grandma's Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera (not exactly a big car...but huge compared to the Toyota) out of the way so she can pass. Rather than wait, the dumb bitch forced her way by...and ended up getting the 'van stuck in a ditch Not just any ditch, but a deep one, filled with mud, broken timbers, rocks, etc. Meaning...not only did she get her 'van stuck, but probably destroyed her exhaust system too Had she not flipped me off, I would have been nice and pulled her out. Instead, I left her to her own devices
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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        • #5
          People do that here all the time. Irv can vouch for me, that in Wisconsin, from the moment the snow goes away (actually, sometimes when Frosty still hasn't finished his diahrrea yet!) up until the moment it starts getting cold and snowing again, there's road construction. And it's never the roads that really need it (aka, the roads with potholes that can swallow entire small cars).

          As it is, right now, every night I have to take a different route to work because the main drag is under construction, and once the workers go home for the day, it seems like they move the barrels right into the middle of the road. Once or twice of me having to hug the gravel shoulder and nearly send my poor little car into the ditch to avoid hitting the barrels, and I decided it'd be better to just leave 10 minutes earlier every night, and just stay on the freeway a few more miles, take a different exit, and take a few more miles out of the way to get to work. That road is under construction as well, but the barrels are out of the way at night, at least.

          And in the morning, since I always stop at my parents' house, I have to go a few miles out into the country and then a hop and a skip and a jump back onto the freeway where there is no construction so I can avoid the same stuff I avoid at night.

          This construction is just so dumb....they are taking huge chunks of concrete out, little by little....barrels in the middle of the road......it's such a pain!

          Gotta say, I'm already used to the smell of cow shit every morning.
          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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          • #6
            Quoth blas87 View Post
            People do that here all the time. Irv can vouch for me, that in Wisconsin, from the moment the snow goes away (actually, sometimes when Frosty still hasn't finished his diahrrea yet!) up until the moment it starts getting cold and snowing again, there's road construction. And it's never the roads that really need it (aka, the roads with potholes that can swallow entire small cars).
            But of course. This is probably about the third year or so that the same road I take to work has had some kind of work done on it.

            I guess it's just inevitable when there's so much salt being put down on the roads and getting ground into the surface during the winter.

            There's also always at least one major freeway project going on. This year the one I keep hearing about is I-94 from the south side of Milwaukee to the Illinois state line, which I drive on only about once a year.
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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            • #7
              Quoth blas87 View Post
              As it is, right now, every night I have to take a different route to work because the main drag is under construction, and once the workers go home for the day, it seems like they move the barrels right into the middle of the road.
              Around here it's not the workers, but douchebrains who think it's funny to move the cones/barrels/horses so that people can't get by, or so that people actually drive into the construction area.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #8
                I know for a fact it's the workers. There are too many cops around here for anyone to be able to get away with that. No one can even steal one of those gadinks (flashing lights on the barrels) without a cop catching them. Too funny. Because traffic violations in construction zones are worth double $ and points off your license, cops stalk construction zones.

                I mean, if my Neon is having a hard time getting through without riding the shoulder, those barrels need to be moved. To the side of the road where the work is actually being done. I can only imagine how it goes for larger cars and even trucks or semis.
                You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                • #9
                  Down deep in the south, there is one thing I do have to wonder about the mega-construction projects...During the summer -- which usually last roughly 8-9 months -- we're lucky if the LOWS are below the upper 80's (f) at times (we're doing OK this year)...During winter, we have none of that white powdery stuff (some think it's a legend), rain nearly ceases, the humidity drops down below 80, and it's rare that the lows even flirt with freezing...Would our "winter" not be the best time for road work? Why do they insist on going into overdrive to get these things done and hang out around the ginormous machines that dispense MOLTEN ASPHALT when it's ninety-ohdeargodi'mgonnamelt outside?
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                  • #10
                    Because that would be smart, and that's not allowed.
                    1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                    -----
                    http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

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                    • #11
                      Quoth EricKei View Post
                      Would our "winter" not be the best time for road work? Why do they insist on going into overdrive to get these things done and hang out around the ginormous machines that dispense MOLTEN ASPHALT when it's ninety-ohdeargodi'mgonnamelt outside?

                      You forgot one important detail - since roadwork can't be done in Northern states in winter due to the white stuff, construction companies will have equipment sitting idle while they're still making payments on it. Southern states should be able to get a discount by getting their road work done during the "off-season".
                      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth wolfie View Post
                        You forgot one important detail - since roadwork can't be done in Northern states in winter due to the white stuff, construction companies will have equipment sitting idle while they're still making payments on it.
                        Doesn't stop them from trying--they'll lay asphalt right over ice if necessary here in Pennsylvania. Then they can't understand why the road starts buckling and cracking
                        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                        • #13
                          Quoth protege View Post
                          Doesn't stop them from trying--they'll lay asphalt right over ice if necessary here in Pennsylvania. Then they can't understand why the road starts buckling and cracking
                          They must have went through the same training center as the ones here in NC 'cause they can't figure out how we end up with holes so big in some of the roads that they'll swallow a car.

                          Like the car that got swallowed up out on Wendover Avenue past the local hospital going toward the middle of town a winter or two ago. They are just now replacing that part of the road (should be completed by tomorrow morning as well as the replacing of water lines along that stretch.)
                          Last edited by DGoddessChardonnay; 06-08-2009, 11:10 PM.
                          Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                          • #14
                            Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                            They must have went through the same training center as the ones here in NC 'cause they can't figure out how we end up with holes so big in some of the roads that they'll swallow a car.
                            But then there's this bridge, which got closed last year. Closed, after someone called 911, that the deck dropped several inches 7 months later, it was finally deemed safe and fully reopened.
                            Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                            • #15
                              Quoth protege View Post
                              Doesn't stop them from trying--they'll lay asphalt right over ice if necessary here in Pennsylvania. Then they can't understand why the road starts buckling and cracking
                              Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                              Like the car that got swallowed up out on Wendover Avenue past the local hospital going toward the middle of town a winter or two ago. They are just now replacing that part of the road (should be completed by tomorrow morning as well as the replacing of water lines along that stretch.)
                              Quoth protege View Post
                              But then there's this bridge, which got closed last year. Closed, after someone called 911, that the deck dropped several inches 7 months later, it was finally deemed safe and fully reopened.
                              Not to sound insulting, but WHAT ARE THEY SMOKING?! Whatever it is, I hope it's not getting in the water.

                              Good grief. That broke my brain.
                              1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                              -----
                              http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

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