Stupid parking lot tricks

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Okay, so you're in your big, puke-green minivan, and you're stalking somebody pulling out of a parking space in front of you. You notice a spot opening up behind you.

Holy falafel! What do you do?

A. Continue to wait for the person whose space you're stalking to pull out of the parking space so you can pull in, or

B. Throw it in reverse, nearing whacking one I.P. Freleigh and the line of shopping carts he's trying to push into the store, so you can pull into the empty space behind you.

If you chose B...please turn in your drivers license and sell your puke-green minivan before you kill somebody.

[wolfie]

One from a few years ago at the local mall.

As I was getting into my car, someone was stalking a space a few cars away. They backed up to let the guy out - blocking me in just as I was about to pull out.

The person they were stalking took their own sweet time to get moving. Finally, they pulled out, and the stalker headed for the space (leaving me room to get out, which I did). Of course, a "hawk" screamed around the corner and pulled into the space they were stalking. Stalker got out of their car to yell at the person who took "their" space.

While the argument was going on, another car came along and took the space I had just left. If the stalker had been watching their surroundings, they would have been able to take my space before the other car came along.

[Mnemjian]

Oh jeez... that happened to me once at the post office. Except for instead of shopping carts, I was in my car. And behind me was another car. So.... yeah.... no. You can't back up. No, honking at me won't help. Just get out of the way so I can take the parking spot and you can take another one only slightly farther away and we can all get on with our lives

[Sleepwalker]

If stalkers would just park at the back of the damn lot, they'd be inside in the time it takes for the car they are stalking to move. Sheesh.

[Daskinor]

Around here the fancy technology known as a Remote Starter is just to much for some people. Every year, 6 months, oh okay few weeks I have this similar story to tell.

I was checking out in the store so I decided to start my car. Warm her up and give the GPS enough time load and download traffic info. Takes a little while longer then I thought to finish so it was a good 10 minutes before I was walking out the door.

I get outside and I hear;

HONK HONK HONK HONK

HONK HONK HONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKK

I get to my car, shure enough some woman sees my car running and thinks I am getting ready to pull out. I walk up open the cargo area (volvo 850 gtl) and load my stuff.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

Oh no she din't!

I finish loading my stuff. Used the remote to turn off the car. Then walked over to the liquor store next door. She revved the engine and speed down and turned into the next row. I hear screeching as she almost hits a car pulling out in the row she went down. And guess what;

HONK HONK HONK HONK

[blas]

That sounds like something fun to try now that I have a car with remote start.

[chainedbarista]

the only time i've really needed to stalk was during the first three to four weeks in community college, since everyone and their dog brought their car; fortunately after about that time, most have dropped out for one reason or another, and parking congestion is relieved.

[mikoyan29]

If someone honks at me to get out of the parking spot that's generally when I decide that maybe I need to do more shopping.

Oh and rather than stalking for the spot closer to the store I will take spaces further out. As I figure by the time I find a spot closer to the store I will be in the store. Plus it's not like I don't need the exercise.

[ADoyle90815]

If someone honks at me to get out of the parking spot that's generally when I decide that maybe I need to do more shopping.

Oh and rather than stalking for the spot closer to the store I will take spaces further out. As I figure by the time I find a spot closer to the store I will be in the store. Plus it's not like I don't need the exercise.

That's what I do as well, I take the spaces farther back since waiting for a space takes longer than the walk to the store. Now, when the mall is really busy and someone honks at me to move out of that spot as I'm loading, I decide that I'm not quite done shopping so I go back inside.

[pitmonkey]

One time I was pulling out of a spot to go home after overnight. This old fart wanted the spot and started pulling in before I got out of the way. I was in no mood to put up with him and just sat there looking at him. I had put the van in park at this point. He was honking and jestering at me to get out of "his" way. Co-workers were getting ready to call the local LEO when he finally moved.

[Kogarashi]

I actually encountered a similar incident today while out running many many Christmas errands, though it was two people vying for an already empty spot.

So BabyGirl and I have parked and are now walking along the sidewalk into the store. We're passing through the disabled parking spaces near the entrance, when we witness this gem. In the driving lane right in front of the store are two cars. First in line is this big red truck with a handicapped tag on the rearview mirror. Second in line is this smaller white car with handicapped plates. Both eye the handicapped space nearest the store.

Red truck, in the lead, turns properly into the driving lane perpendicular to the store, then again into the parking space itself. White car, in an attempt to get the space first (or honestly not realizing red truck was going for it and thus pulling a common stunt), drives over the parking space line. Unfortunately for white car, red truck is fast enough that he's already halfway into the space when her nose gets in there, and she just stares kind of dumbstruck as he frowns at her and slowly eases his truck in the rest of the way at an angle to keep from scraping up either vehicle.

I'm bad. I briefly toyed with the mental image of a Disabled Deathmatch between the two drivers. As it was, I wanted to get done with shopping because it was our last stop of a very long errand day.

And because I don't know that I can describe the maneuver very well, I've attached a diagram. The red box is the red truck, the green box is the white car, and the color-coded arrows show their driving path. Blue dots are the "handicapped parking only" signs, preventing sane people from driving straight through the spaces, and the dark yellow dot is a lamp post, forcing the white car to pull a swervy maneuver to get into the space the way she was trying for.

[Project_Mars]

Ah stalking. This (and the fact that I am young enough and haven't had a need to be enough of a hurry (and a loathing of parking lots. (Oh! and surprise and a fanatical devotion to the pope))) is why i tend to park towards the back of the parking lots.