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Oh, the entitled douchebaggery going on tonight... and at least one of Khirashi's guests is at my hotel (namely Captain Punchy).
Attempt the first at a free upgrade
SC: There was no directory left in our room, we'd like a different room.
Me: I'm sorry that housekeeping overlooked that, but we have spare directors, I'll grab one for you. Though, when in doubt, if you call the hotel operator, they can direct your call.
SC: Without a directory, how are we supposed to know how to dial the operator.
Me: ... everywhere I know of is dial 0 for the operator.
Attempt the second at a free upgrade
SC: The shower curtain is missing its plastic liner so water got everywhere in the bathroom when we took a shower, we need a new room.
Me: None of our shower curtains have plastic liners, they are water proofed fabric and go directly in the tub. It is an understandable mistake, we can have someone go up and clean the bathroom for you, but we aren't going to move into a new room for it.
SC: I've never seen a waterproof fabric shower curtain, no other hotel I've staid at uses them, why the hell would you use something so uncommon that guests won't be familiar with it.
Me: If you thought there was something wrong, why didn't you call down and ask to make sure?
SC: How are we supposed to do that without a directory in our room?
Me: We do follow the same convention of every other hotel and have 0 as the extension for the operator.
Attempt the third at a free upgrade
SC: Now there is no dial tone on my phone.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry, but we don't have anyone in engineering right now to fix that. We can either wait until the morning to have it fixed or we can move you into a different room of the same type.
SC: No, if we are moving we demand an upgrade to compensate for the inconvenience.
Supervisor (who has been at the desk each of the times this guest has come up): Are you kidding? You started by complaining about not having a directory, refused our offer to get you one and were told that if you needed to be connected to anywhere all you had to do was dial 0 and the operator would connect you. You had a problem with the shower curtain because you weren't familiar with that style, you thought there was something wrong, but just used it anyway rather than calling to ask if there was a problem or a different way you were supposed to use it and again claimed that it was because of a lack of directory, despite being told how to call the operator. And now you are claiming the phone isn't working, which is the first legitimate complaint you've made all night. Since it is a legitimate complaint, we are willing to move you to a comparable room, but we aren't going to do an upgrade for what in the scheme of things is a relatively minor inconvenience, that could have been avoided had you tried the phone earlier in the night when we still had people in engineering to fix it.
SC: How dare you speak to a VIP like that, do you have any idea how important I am to this company?
Me: $7 a day in revenue on average... in 2011... with nothing sense then until tonight.
SC:
you.
What terrible service
SC: What type of bullshit resort are you that doesn't offer room service?
Me: We stopped offering room service last year because so few people were ordering it... even now we only get about 1 or 2 requests a day to bring it back, which isn't enough to justify it.
SC: Well, how the hell am I supposed to get food then.
Me: ... go to the restaurant...
What do you mean there is a wait
SC: I've been waiting in valet for several minutes now and no one is here.
Me: I'm sorry, our valet person is currently assisting a guest to their room, they should be down in a few minutes.
SC: That is unacceptable to make guests wait this long, why don't you have more people working out here?
Me: Normally we aren't busy at 2am and having only one person doesn't cause any problems. Unfortunately it looks like just bad timing that two people needed his help at the same time.
SC: you
I'm noticing a trend.
Captain Punchy stays at my hotel
Yup, had a domestic tonight. Had to have security break them up. Husband tried to take a swing at one of the security guards. Husband is now staying at the Parr Blvd Hotel for the night... I hope he enjoys his accomadations.
Lt. Punchy stays at my hotel
Seriously,
two domestics in one night 
This time security didn't get involved, the wife removed herself from the situation and got herself her own room with the agreement that under no circumstances would we let her husband know that she was at the hotel. I also used her husband's comp points to pay for the room (oops, I could have sworn I was working with her comp account, I mean, they do have the same last name and address and all that
)
Khirashi jinxed me
Seriously, as soon as I finished reading his post I started getting noise complaints.
Ditto BroSCFischer
This post is the situation I'm dealing with right now also. Misery loves company I guess
Attempt the first at a free upgrade
SC: There was no directory left in our room, we'd like a different room.
Me: I'm sorry that housekeeping overlooked that, but we have spare directors, I'll grab one for you. Though, when in doubt, if you call the hotel operator, they can direct your call.
SC: Without a directory, how are we supposed to know how to dial the operator.
Me: ... everywhere I know of is dial 0 for the operator.
Attempt the second at a free upgrade
SC: The shower curtain is missing its plastic liner so water got everywhere in the bathroom when we took a shower, we need a new room.
Me: None of our shower curtains have plastic liners, they are water proofed fabric and go directly in the tub. It is an understandable mistake, we can have someone go up and clean the bathroom for you, but we aren't going to move into a new room for it.
SC: I've never seen a waterproof fabric shower curtain, no other hotel I've staid at uses them, why the hell would you use something so uncommon that guests won't be familiar with it.
Me: If you thought there was something wrong, why didn't you call down and ask to make sure?
SC: How are we supposed to do that without a directory in our room?
Me: We do follow the same convention of every other hotel and have 0 as the extension for the operator.
Attempt the third at a free upgrade
SC: Now there is no dial tone on my phone.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry, but we don't have anyone in engineering right now to fix that. We can either wait until the morning to have it fixed or we can move you into a different room of the same type.
SC: No, if we are moving we demand an upgrade to compensate for the inconvenience.
Supervisor (who has been at the desk each of the times this guest has come up): Are you kidding? You started by complaining about not having a directory, refused our offer to get you one and were told that if you needed to be connected to anywhere all you had to do was dial 0 and the operator would connect you. You had a problem with the shower curtain because you weren't familiar with that style, you thought there was something wrong, but just used it anyway rather than calling to ask if there was a problem or a different way you were supposed to use it and again claimed that it was because of a lack of directory, despite being told how to call the operator. And now you are claiming the phone isn't working, which is the first legitimate complaint you've made all night. Since it is a legitimate complaint, we are willing to move you to a comparable room, but we aren't going to do an upgrade for what in the scheme of things is a relatively minor inconvenience, that could have been avoided had you tried the phone earlier in the night when we still had people in engineering to fix it.
SC: How dare you speak to a VIP like that, do you have any idea how important I am to this company?
Me: $7 a day in revenue on average... in 2011... with nothing sense then until tonight.
SC:
you.What terrible service
SC: What type of bullshit resort are you that doesn't offer room service?
Me: We stopped offering room service last year because so few people were ordering it... even now we only get about 1 or 2 requests a day to bring it back, which isn't enough to justify it.
SC: Well, how the hell am I supposed to get food then.
Me: ... go to the restaurant...
What do you mean there is a wait
SC: I've been waiting in valet for several minutes now and no one is here.
Me: I'm sorry, our valet person is currently assisting a guest to their room, they should be down in a few minutes.
SC: That is unacceptable to make guests wait this long, why don't you have more people working out here?
Me: Normally we aren't busy at 2am and having only one person doesn't cause any problems. Unfortunately it looks like just bad timing that two people needed his help at the same time.
SC:
youI'm noticing a trend.
Captain Punchy stays at my hotel
Yup, had a domestic tonight. Had to have security break them up. Husband tried to take a swing at one of the security guards. Husband is now staying at the Parr Blvd Hotel for the night... I hope he enjoys his accomadations.
Lt. Punchy stays at my hotel
Seriously,
two domestics in one night This time security didn't get involved, the wife removed herself from the situation and got herself her own room with the agreement that under no circumstances would we let her husband know that she was at the hotel. I also used her husband's comp points to pay for the room (oops, I could have sworn I was working with her comp account, I mean, they do have the same last name and address and all that
)Khirashi jinxed me
Seriously, as soon as I finished reading his post I started getting noise complaints.
Ditto BroSCFischer
This post is the situation I'm dealing with right now also. Misery loves company I guess
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