I hate to call her an SC

[Food Lady]

because she apologized a million times, but I am so annoyed, so I'm posting. I am so sick of being told (not asked) that I'm pregnant. At least now I know why; she said something about the area above my waist. But last I checked, the uterus resides below the waist. It doesn't even make sense At this point every month some customer says something. I already feel fat due to the 8 pounds of water weight, and I have to be all nice and say "that's ok! " because I'm at work. What am I supposed to do, call in for a week every month? I've tried everything: diuretics, button-up shirts worn loose over a tank top, big tee-shirts. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I'm behind a counter; that seemed to figure in to her assessment today (something about my leaning against it, I don't know). You all know how often I post about this. What do I do??? I can't take the hit to my self-esteem. And people do not call me fat, btw. I'm not skinny.

[MoonCat]

I sympathize {{hugs}}. Short of wearing a shirt that reads "No, I'm NOT pregnant" I don't know what to suggest. You'd think people would know by now not to make personal comments like that.

[Food Lady]

Yep.
Big shirt must be a maternity shirt.
Fitted shirt must be a stretchy maternity shirt.
Open button-up is a curtain to look past to find the baby bump.

Maybe next time I should say, "Nope, I'm celibate" or "Not unless it's Christmas and my name is Mary."

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Get a gag knife and say you're going to abort it then and there. Then "stab" yourself.

Or burst into tears and wail about how the father died/left you/ turned out to be married.

Or go into graphic detail about the Facehugger that attacked you on your way to work.

[PepperElf]

Also, check how much salt you're getting. IIRC too much salt intake can make the bloating even worse.


as for the SCs ... stiff politeness is all I can suggest. Or "I"m not but thank you for your concern. Good day." etc.

[Pixilated]

Ugh. Can't offer anything in the way of advice that hasn't already been given, but I'm sorry you're having to put up with this.

If you're in a joking/sarcastic mood, you could say, "Oh, I'm carrying it for a friend" and watch their reaction ...

[stitchwitch]

I once responded to that question with "if I am call the Pope and erect a shrine." I was still a virgin at the time. The look on the lady's face was priceless. (btw, she asked b/c I was throwing up alot due to stomach flu.)

[Food Lady]

Also, check how much salt you're getting. IIRC too much salt intake can make the bloating even worse.

I know I'm getting too much salt. I don't usually go for chips and whatnot, but when I have PMS I let myself have it. But I do naturally have very slim hips (same measurement as my waist) and a pooch above the waist more than below. Why don't people get that some people are built that way?

[emax4]

Get a gag knife and say you're going to abort it then and there. Then "stab" yourself.

Or burst into tears and wail about how the father died/left you/ turned out to be married.

Or go into graphic detail about the Facehugger that attacked you on your way to work.

I love those all! I was thinking of a big shirt that says in blatant lettering, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell!"

[BlaqueKatt]

I know I'm getting too much salt. But I do naturally have very slim hips (same measurement as my waist) and a pooch above the waist more than below.

The fat cells in your stomach will store more water if you aren't drinking enough water*, and diuretics will make you MORE bloated for that reason.

*actual water-soda, juice, sports drinks, coffee, milk, etc don't count as far as your body's concerned.

[shopgirl15]

I would go into my dark cynical mode and say its actually an 8 pound tumor they're going to remove next week.

[siead_lietrathua]

if you can stand having pressure on your abdomen during that week, you could try wearing a compression shirt or something? might make it more comfortable too, but everyone's body is different so YMMV

[Food Lady]

I did try on one of those waist cinchers recently. It didn't help much. Wish I had the money to have a corset made. Seriously. Have wanted one for 15 years. And of course no one said anything today because the change is that dramatic.

[blas]

My doctor told me I needed more calcium some years ago, and she told me that taking in more calcium could help offset my body's tendency to go into camel mode.