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Just a few quickies since I really haven't had any epic tales to tell of late.
Scenario the First:
It is 1 AM and you are doing your grocery shopping. Making your way down an aisle you notice that there is a pallet of energy drinks sitting in the middle of the aisle which store employees are stocking the shelf from. One side of the aisle is too narrow to get through and there is an employee stocking on the other side. Do you;
A) Turn around and go another way;
B) Politely ask the employee to move so you can get past;
C) Try to ram your cart through the narrow end, getting it stuck and causing two flats of energy drinks to fall on the floor?
If you picked C, you might be one of our customers! (The customer actually was apologetic about it and helped us pick up the cans.)
Scenario the Second;
It is 6 AM on a Saturday morning and you've run in to buy a few things. There is only one cashier on duty, and at the time you're ready to check out he happens to have a line about five deep, because the laws of physics state that if there are only five customers in the store they will all want to check out at once. Do you;
A) Wait patiently;
B) Go to one of the six self-checkout lanes that are open and have no line;
C) Barge to the front of the line, interrupt the current transaction to complain at the cashier about how they need to open more lanes and this is horrible customer service, then get back in line, complain some more when it's your turn to check out, cut off the cashier mid-sentence every time he tries to apologize and say his apologies are lies, and then declare that from now on you're only going to Competing Grocery Store That Charges Much More For The Exact Same Products And Isn't Even Open Until 8 AM on Saturdays?
If you selected C, you might be one of our customers! (Guess who was back doing her shopping at our store again two days later, BTW?)
Scenario the Third;
It's 1:53 AM. Per state law, liquor sales stop at 2 AM. You want to purchase liquor, which for security reasons is locked up after 10 PM and requires a supervisor to step into the locked-off area and retrieve the bottle of your choice. Do you;
A) Make a choice quickly and get rung out on time
B) Not even be in this situation, because you planned ahead and came earlier
C) Spend several minutes dithering over what kind of cheap vodka to buy while the supervisor reminds you that the clock is ticking, such that by the time you make your choice and the supervisor rushes you to a register, it's too late anyway and the POS refuses to allow the sale because it's after 2?
If you selected C, then I guess you may as well go ahead and complain at the supervisor about how you not being able to get your booze is everyone's fault but your own.
Bonus WTF: Pretty sure that's not even legal
About six months ago, before I switched to graveyards, I was near the end of my 2-11 shift when an elderly gentleman of a particular ethnicity approached me.
C: You sell dog?
Me: Excuse me?
C: Dog?
Me: Do you mean dog food? That's on Aisle (aisle that dog food is on).
C: No. Meat. Dog.
Me: ...meat for dogs?
C: No. Dog meat. For cooking.
Me:
...No, we don't.
C: My friend told me you sell dog.
Me: No, sir.
C: You used to?
Me: Not since we opened.
C: You sure?
Me: ...pretty sure.
C: Oh. (walks away)
The next day I ran into the meat department manager, who happens to be of the same ethnicity as this customer was. I told him the story and he just started laughing hysterically.
Scenario the First:
It is 1 AM and you are doing your grocery shopping. Making your way down an aisle you notice that there is a pallet of energy drinks sitting in the middle of the aisle which store employees are stocking the shelf from. One side of the aisle is too narrow to get through and there is an employee stocking on the other side. Do you;
A) Turn around and go another way;
B) Politely ask the employee to move so you can get past;
C) Try to ram your cart through the narrow end, getting it stuck and causing two flats of energy drinks to fall on the floor?
If you picked C, you might be one of our customers! (The customer actually was apologetic about it and helped us pick up the cans.)
Scenario the Second;
It is 6 AM on a Saturday morning and you've run in to buy a few things. There is only one cashier on duty, and at the time you're ready to check out he happens to have a line about five deep, because the laws of physics state that if there are only five customers in the store they will all want to check out at once. Do you;
A) Wait patiently;
B) Go to one of the six self-checkout lanes that are open and have no line;
C) Barge to the front of the line, interrupt the current transaction to complain at the cashier about how they need to open more lanes and this is horrible customer service, then get back in line, complain some more when it's your turn to check out, cut off the cashier mid-sentence every time he tries to apologize and say his apologies are lies, and then declare that from now on you're only going to Competing Grocery Store That Charges Much More For The Exact Same Products And Isn't Even Open Until 8 AM on Saturdays?
If you selected C, you might be one of our customers! (Guess who was back doing her shopping at our store again two days later, BTW?)
Scenario the Third;
It's 1:53 AM. Per state law, liquor sales stop at 2 AM. You want to purchase liquor, which for security reasons is locked up after 10 PM and requires a supervisor to step into the locked-off area and retrieve the bottle of your choice. Do you;
A) Make a choice quickly and get rung out on time
B) Not even be in this situation, because you planned ahead and came earlier
C) Spend several minutes dithering over what kind of cheap vodka to buy while the supervisor reminds you that the clock is ticking, such that by the time you make your choice and the supervisor rushes you to a register, it's too late anyway and the POS refuses to allow the sale because it's after 2?
If you selected C, then I guess you may as well go ahead and complain at the supervisor about how you not being able to get your booze is everyone's fault but your own.
Bonus WTF: Pretty sure that's not even legal
About six months ago, before I switched to graveyards, I was near the end of my 2-11 shift when an elderly gentleman of a particular ethnicity approached me.
C: You sell dog?
Me: Excuse me?
C: Dog?
Me: Do you mean dog food? That's on Aisle (aisle that dog food is on).
C: No. Meat. Dog.
Me: ...meat for dogs?
C: No. Dog meat. For cooking.
Me:
...No, we don't.C: My friend told me you sell dog.
Me: No, sir.
C: You used to?
Me: Not since we opened.
C: You sure?
Me: ...pretty sure.
C: Oh. (walks away)
The next day I ran into the meat department manager, who happens to be of the same ethnicity as this customer was. I told him the story and he just started laughing hysterically.
It was their way of getting around the Federal requirement that the drinking age be 21. The Feds eventually said "He ha, very funny, guys. Now fix it," and threatened to withdraw all Federal highway funding if the law was not amended...So, it was. (Federal funding is a considerable portion of the budgets for such things)
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