Dear (NOT) Asshole Who Cussed Out My Very Sweet Coworker:
YOU SUCK. You are a pathetic moron who obviously gets his jacks off telling people much smaller than you "Fuck you!" repeatedly, LOUDLY, in public, because they accidentally overcharged you (so you claim; personally I think you're the one who fucked up and got pissy when she tried to explain something). You also obviously enjoy the potential threat of getting a well-deserved ass-beatdown by telling other patrons of my store, one of whom is a fireman AT LEAST as large as yourself, to similarly "fuck off and mind your own business" when they tell you to knock off your bullshit. And yes, you ARE an asshole, so stop whining about how everybody is making you out to be the Bad Guy in this situation.
You reduced my coworker, a very sweet woman, to tears and no doubt racked up more stress points on her health meter, to the point where she had to leave the store and I honestly worry about her coming back (partly because our manager is a spineless 'tard who instead of kicking your worthless ass out the door, rushed over to placate your cocktardery). I hope you're very happy with yourself, and may fire ants nest in your anus for the rest of your days. DIAF.
Absolutely NO love whatsoever, Me
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Dear (NOT) Stupid Old Bitch,
The longer I remain trapped in the hell that is SW Florida, the more amazed and stunned I am by the sheer RUDENESS constantly exhibited by so many people down here. You are a classic example of that, having butted your way ahead of another customer (who was loudly and quite rightly making his displeasure with you known) while my back was turned, then having the brass to tell said customer off, just so you can buy your OMGPRECIOUS!! 24-pack of BEER. Which is the ONLY thing you were buying. You can also DIAF, thankyouverymuch, as you are just one of many crapstomers instrumental in reducing whatever faith in humanity I have remaining to charred ashes.
Me
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And one for the management...
Dear (NOT) Management,
An 8-hour shift that gives me a very late 15-minute break and an even later lunch half-hour (one hour BEFORE my shift is to end)????? Oh no no no no no no. I don't give a fuck if you are short-staffed, if I don't do the eating thing, I stop doing the standing-and-talking thing. This shit WILL NOT happen again. Because the next time it does? There is going to be much
I will not at all be surprised to learn, if in the near future I am able to arrange for a blood test, that I am pre-diabetic or fully diabetic, thanks to your fucknuttery. I'm already experiencing small shakes and lightheadedness when I go too long without food, thanks to your shitty shift-scheduling, and I've lost count of the numerous pain-pills I've been popping for the last several months from having been continuously on my feet that long with no goddamned food (and the candy aisle ain't an option except in cases of extreme emergency, seeing as that just makes my problems worse).
Oh, and the new schedule for the customer service desk you stuck me on for TWO DAYS DESPITE MY ALREADY HAVING TOLD YOU I CANNOT DO THAT SHIT ANYMORE after the hellacious day I had Monday?? NOT HAPPENING. EVER.
Happily shopping at your leading competitor next time, Me
YOU SUCK. You are a pathetic moron who obviously gets his jacks off telling people much smaller than you "Fuck you!" repeatedly, LOUDLY, in public, because they accidentally overcharged you (so you claim; personally I think you're the one who fucked up and got pissy when she tried to explain something). You also obviously enjoy the potential threat of getting a well-deserved ass-beatdown by telling other patrons of my store, one of whom is a fireman AT LEAST as large as yourself, to similarly "fuck off and mind your own business" when they tell you to knock off your bullshit. And yes, you ARE an asshole, so stop whining about how everybody is making you out to be the Bad Guy in this situation.
You reduced my coworker, a very sweet woman, to tears and no doubt racked up more stress points on her health meter, to the point where she had to leave the store and I honestly worry about her coming back (partly because our manager is a spineless 'tard who instead of kicking your worthless ass out the door, rushed over to placate your cocktardery). I hope you're very happy with yourself, and may fire ants nest in your anus for the rest of your days. DIAF.
Absolutely NO love whatsoever, Me
--
Dear (NOT) Stupid Old Bitch,
The longer I remain trapped in the hell that is SW Florida, the more amazed and stunned I am by the sheer RUDENESS constantly exhibited by so many people down here. You are a classic example of that, having butted your way ahead of another customer (who was loudly and quite rightly making his displeasure with you known) while my back was turned, then having the brass to tell said customer off, just so you can buy your OMGPRECIOUS!! 24-pack of BEER. Which is the ONLY thing you were buying. You can also DIAF, thankyouverymuch, as you are just one of many crapstomers instrumental in reducing whatever faith in humanity I have remaining to charred ashes.
Me
--
And one for the management...
Dear (NOT) Management,
An 8-hour shift that gives me a very late 15-minute break and an even later lunch half-hour (one hour BEFORE my shift is to end)????? Oh no no no no no no. I don't give a fuck if you are short-staffed, if I don't do the eating thing, I stop doing the standing-and-talking thing. This shit WILL NOT happen again. Because the next time it does? There is going to be much
I will not at all be surprised to learn, if in the near future I am able to arrange for a blood test, that I am pre-diabetic or fully diabetic, thanks to your fucknuttery. I'm already experiencing small shakes and lightheadedness when I go too long without food, thanks to your shitty shift-scheduling, and I've lost count of the numerous pain-pills I've been popping for the last several months from having been continuously on my feet that long with no goddamned food (and the candy aisle ain't an option except in cases of extreme emergency, seeing as that just makes my problems worse).
Oh, and the new schedule for the customer service desk you stuck me on for TWO DAYS DESPITE MY ALREADY HAVING TOLD YOU I CANNOT DO THAT SHIT ANYMORE after the hellacious day I had Monday?? NOT HAPPENING. EVER.
Happily shopping at your leading competitor next time, Me
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