The "Soda Nazi"

[Bright_Star]

I was ringing up a customer the other day who had bought groceries. I put 2 bottles of soda in a bag & was getting ready to put it into another bag to prevent it from falling through when I started having problems with it. I was trying to set them both side by side in the bag but the bottles had other ideas They kept tipping over & it was pissing me off & it took FIVE tries of it before I got them situated the way I wanted. That's when i looked up at the customer & he literally screamed..."I DON'T WANT THOSE SODAS!! THEY'RE GONNA SPILL ALL OVER THE PLACE IF I WERE TO OPEN THEM!!" I said..."They'll be ok if you just let them sit for a while." He said..."HELL NO!!!!!"
As if that wasn't bad enough, his family, who was sitting by a bench near my register was watching us & the one lady said....."LOOK! IF you can't do your fucking job right then you shouldn't be working here!!!" I was like---> I really wanted so much to say..."IF you think you can do better then why don't you come over here then & do my job better??" But I thought I better not say that as much as I wanted to so I just gave them this look---->
I was Miss Clumsy but jeez! Did they have to be so anal about it?

[BookstoreEscapee]

pertinent words: IF I WERE TO OPEN THEM...

Well, sir, are you planning to open them in the next 15 minutes or so? They'll probably get just as shook up in the car on the way home..

[Imogene]

I got a visual of someone saluting a bottle of Pepsi from the thread title.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Heil Pepsi! :accelerated goosestep from all the caffeine:

[Jack7957]

I've read of a trick you can do with a soda can. It was claimed to be from Penn & Teller, though I can't find it online, and haven't tried it myself yet.
Take a can of soda and shake it up. Now distract your audience for at least 10 seconds. If you then open the can, it will not explode all over the place.
I haven't tried it myself yet, because when I do, I want to be outside and it's been too cold to try it.

[Jester]

As both a fan of Penn & Teller and a magician myself, let me say this:

If you see a magician do something, do NOT assume that what you see is what is actually happening.

In other words, you may not want to try that at home, kids. Just saying.

[Anakah]

Reminds me of when someone drank out of a soda before I rang it up... They handed me the soda and wouldn't you know, I dropped it. And they still had to take it because they already drank from it.

[digilight]

I know that when opening a bottle of champagne you want to tap the bottle three times with something metal (like your keys or a bottle opener) this will calm the fizzing so it wont explode on you. Just like with a soda can you tap the top of the can a couple of times. Although 2 litter bottles seem to always have a mind of their own. it seems like 7-up is the worse offender, it can sit for a month and will still try and bubble over when you open it up.

[PharmTechPhantom]

I've had people who'd opened their sodas and not bother to put the cap back on properly. So it spills everywhere and I just look at them like "You know this is your fault." Most of them silently acknowlege their lapse in judgement.

[Broomjockey]

Although 2 litter bottles seem to always have a mind of their own. it seems like 7-up is the worse offender, it can sit for a month and will still try and bubble over when you open it up.

I have to disagree. Cream soda is the worst I've run across for this. I've had it happen after simply picking up the bottle, setting it on the counter, and opening it. Blech.