My life's been pretty surreal since the government shutdown (I work for a company in a national park. No job for me until further notice), but a couple days beforehand, THIS weirdo wandered up to my desk.
This guy is wearing a camo jacket and sort of hunching at me, if that helps you picture the scene. He comes up and...I don't even remember what he leads with, but he proceeds to basically make me squirm with a series of horrible lectures.
The first one was about how civil war is coming, and 2/3 of the population will soon be dead, and When That Day Comes, Young Lady, You Had Better Stand. Then he just stood there repeating "STAND!" at me, with his dead eyes locked somewhere on top of my head, while I sort of nervously nodded and shuffled (I do NOT do well with intensity like this from strangers, and I do NOT discuss politics or the state of the country at work).
The second one was about how Cabela's is offering a $10,000 reward for the pelt of a black wolf (fortunately this seems to be an unsubstantiated rumor someone started in a gun forum, or I'd be boycotting Cabela's). He kept talking about black wolves and grey wolves like they were separate species. He told me how the wolves have killed all the elk in Idaho and Montana, and now they're working on killing the cattle and killing and eating the humans.
At this point I wanted to say "No offense, sir, but...are you trolling me? Did you just say wolves EAT PEOPLE???" Also, I didn't think of it because I was so shook up at the time, but I wish I had rolled up my sleeve and showed him the tattoo of two semi-famous wolves who were killed by a bounty hunter in the 1890s...I think that may have ended the discussion on a note I would have felt happier about.
Then the third lecture was about how he used to have high security clearance, and therefore (?) we should nuke the Middle East. As in, all of the Middle East. Just take a submarine over there, and it would be the work of "45 minutes to solve all our problems". At this point I really felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, but the phone started ringing and I let it ring about four times and then sidled away mumbling "I've got to take that."
This dude came back to lecture my manager, who, luckily for him, was called away by a random coworker and didn't have to listen. All I heard was "When the Japanese were in internment camps in the 1940s..." and luckily I was counting my bank after that and didn't have to hear it. I asked the manager what the guy had said about the camps, but he shrugged and said "As soon as I saw it was him, I tuned completely out."
Please do not make this thread about any of the monumentally obnoxious topics brought up by the dude. If you'd like to debate about any of them with me, I am starting a thread on Fratching for that exact purpose. What I'm focusing on here is how the guy was nuts, and how trapped I felt. I really wish I'd shown him my tattoo and found a polite way of telling him to fuck off.
I couldn't help thinking of some of the people who used to call Gravekeeper's government lines. I didn't want to think these people were real.
This guy is wearing a camo jacket and sort of hunching at me, if that helps you picture the scene. He comes up and...I don't even remember what he leads with, but he proceeds to basically make me squirm with a series of horrible lectures.
The first one was about how civil war is coming, and 2/3 of the population will soon be dead, and When That Day Comes, Young Lady, You Had Better Stand. Then he just stood there repeating "STAND!" at me, with his dead eyes locked somewhere on top of my head, while I sort of nervously nodded and shuffled (I do NOT do well with intensity like this from strangers, and I do NOT discuss politics or the state of the country at work).
The second one was about how Cabela's is offering a $10,000 reward for the pelt of a black wolf (fortunately this seems to be an unsubstantiated rumor someone started in a gun forum, or I'd be boycotting Cabela's). He kept talking about black wolves and grey wolves like they were separate species. He told me how the wolves have killed all the elk in Idaho and Montana, and now they're working on killing the cattle and killing and eating the humans.
At this point I wanted to say "No offense, sir, but...are you trolling me? Did you just say wolves EAT PEOPLE???" Also, I didn't think of it because I was so shook up at the time, but I wish I had rolled up my sleeve and showed him the tattoo of two semi-famous wolves who were killed by a bounty hunter in the 1890s...I think that may have ended the discussion on a note I would have felt happier about.
Then the third lecture was about how he used to have high security clearance, and therefore (?) we should nuke the Middle East. As in, all of the Middle East. Just take a submarine over there, and it would be the work of "45 minutes to solve all our problems". At this point I really felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, but the phone started ringing and I let it ring about four times and then sidled away mumbling "I've got to take that."
This dude came back to lecture my manager, who, luckily for him, was called away by a random coworker and didn't have to listen. All I heard was "When the Japanese were in internment camps in the 1940s..." and luckily I was counting my bank after that and didn't have to hear it. I asked the manager what the guy had said about the camps, but he shrugged and said "As soon as I saw it was him, I tuned completely out."
Please do not make this thread about any of the monumentally obnoxious topics brought up by the dude. If you'd like to debate about any of them with me, I am starting a thread on Fratching for that exact purpose. What I'm focusing on here is how the guy was nuts, and how trapped I felt. I really wish I'd shown him my tattoo and found a polite way of telling him to fuck off.
I couldn't help thinking of some of the people who used to call Gravekeeper's government lines. I didn't want to think these people were real.
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