Hotel Tales: "Coffee Addict" Edition

[mathnerd]

reloaded an Epi-Pen with the noble bean soup...

You win. lol

[Food Lady]

Pshaw. Amateur.

A TRUE coffee addict would have made sure he/she had the packet before going to his/her room, so that the coffee could be made in the room immediately upon awakening.

Not that I'd know ANYTHING about being a coffee addict. No, not at all.

Where's the like button?

[Jay 2K Winger]

A true coffee addict has as stash of coffee with him/her at all times and doesn't need to waste the time going to the front desk in an emergency.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[Skarredmind]

LOL, we have coffee pots that run like soda machines with coffee concentrate just add hot water. So we have hot "fresh" coffee 24-7. Its AMAZING how people act like this is clearly impossible, and that I *MUST* be telling them a story to use up old coffee or something.

1) On Night Audit I work from 10p-8a, I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old at home. Even if I had to brew pots, there would be fresh coffee. ALL NIGHT LONG. I would drink most of it, but seriously, any excuse to get out from behind this desk is a good one too.

2) Why is it so hard to believe that coffee can be concentrated and served on demand?

3) Whether you believe me or not, I *CAN'T* brew a fresh pot... it doesn't work that way. Being mad doesn't change this... but it does make hate you.

[AccountingDrone]

We travel with our own coffee, filters of both cone and muffin, and a french press - we want our own brand because mostly hotel packet coffee basically sucks. [current brick is light roast Gevalia - the base Exchange carries it.] Also a selection of loose teas - Russian Caravan, a decaf chai, Earl Grey and Dragon Pearl Jasmine.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I doubt you'd think so if *I* was the one who made it. I'm told my coffee makes an excellent paint stripper - and like paint stripper, there are warnings regarding how it shouldn't be taken internally....

I was once put in charge of making the coffee at my work since I was the first one there. The problem is that no matter how I made it, they would complain and kvetch about how it was like making love in a canoe.

AKA "Fucking Close to Water"

Now not being a coffee drinker myself, I never tasted the coffee since to me it tastes nasty. Love the smell, the taste makes me gag. I drink sodas. Same drug, different delivery system.

I explained that to my coworkers and they showed me how to make it. I do what they do, following the number of scoops, the amount of water...to the gorram letter.

Then it hit naive 18-year old me. They were @#$%ing with me. So I got evil and got my revenge.

There was at the time a new product coming out called caffeinated water. All the caffeine in a cup of coffee but in a water bottle for those early morning joggers.

So I bought some. And used it in the coffee maker. To make coffee. A quick search on the internet taught me that the darker the roast, the less caffeine is in the coffee beans so I chose a nice light, caffeine rich New England Roast.

Then I made a nice pot of hellbrew.

They still complained. But this time the complaint was that their teeth were still wiggling and one guy could flat out not sit sill. We got more work out of him in one morning that we normally do in a week.

That was the last time they had me make the coffee.

[mathnerd]

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

I often joke that my corporate sponsor is Juan Valdez.

[Peppergirl]

I often joke that my corporate sponsor is Juan Valdez.

Can he sponsor both of us?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Pshaw. Amateur.

A TRUE coffee addict would have made sure he/she had the packet before going to his/her room, so that the coffee could be made in the room immediately upon awakening.

Not that I'd know ANYTHING about being a coffee addict. No, not at all.

Or, if the coffeemaker has a timer, set it up and program the timer before bed the night before so that the coffee will be ready and hot a good 15 minutes before you're scheduled to get up.

Also, if at work, I couldn't tell you about damaged coffee being emptied and stored behind a desk for emergency use. . .

And no, I can't tell you how that reserve bag got in my locker, either. Must have been our girl in the Market . . .

[greensinestro]

I know lots of people who drink coffee all day long, and nothing else. Just like some that drink Coke all day to curb their addiction.

But, I'm surprised you didn't mention that this guy seemed to expect you not to just make him a pot of coffee, but also to make breakfast for him. Maybe he's been at other hotels that offer a 24/7 food area.

[XCashier]

Then I made a nice pot of hellbrew.

They still complained. But this time the complaint was that their teeth were still wiggling and one guy could flat out not sit sill.

Did he pull his shirt over his head and chant, "I am Cornholioooo! Are you threatening me?"

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Did he pull his shirt over his head and chant, "I am Cornholioooo! Are you threatening me?"

Now that would have been a good day at work!

We had a manager at one store (known as KB) who simply could NOT make coffee fit to drink, which was the main reason I would do that first thing when I got to work (after clocking in and putting my purse up.)

He had made coffee one morning and it was like drinking motor oil! If I had chest hair, it would have fallen out, it was THAT strong!!!! We thought we'd have to get a crowbar to pry Mohair (our store manager then) off the ceiling

Needless to say, we never, never, ever let KB near the coffee maker again.

[ShinyGreenApple]

LOL, we have coffee pots that run like soda machines with coffee concentrate just add hot water. So we have hot "fresh" coffee 24-7.

I must have one of these for home use. I must.

But if I wanted coffee that bad (who is up at 4AM?!) I would have just driven to Starbucks or the nearest local shop. But I guess SC didn't want to do this since it would have been money out of his pocket.

[jedimaster91]

There was at the time a new product coming out called caffeinated water. All the caffeine in a cup of coffee but in a water bottle for those early morning joggers.

So I bought some. And used it in the coffee maker. To make coffee. A quick search on the internet taught me that the darker the roast, the less caffeine is in the coffee beans so I chose a nice light, caffeine rich New England Roast.

Then I made a nice pot of hellbrew.

They still complained. But this time the complaint was that their teeth were still wiggling and one guy could flat out not sit sill. We got more work out of him in one morning that we normally do in a week.

That was the last time they had me make the coffee.

Mongo, I love you.

[king4aday]

hotel coffee

I had to laugh because I just had some teenage girls check in to my hotel and they asked me if there was coffee in the room. I said "yes there are coffee makers in all of our rooms, but we also serve starbucks coffee in the express restaurant." The girls just went absoloutley WILD that we would have starbucks coffee. It made all the other guests in the lobby crack up. It was a highlight of an otherwise HELLISH night.