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Someone’s log.
As I continue my mission to explore the same territory day after day encountering strange lifeforms usually less intelligent than a sponge I realize that I have now been on this mission for over 3 years. I once asked a member of the corporate drone species what the ship’s name meant and what he said translated to something about not being allowed to distribute fecal matter. Oh well I don’t really care.
Encounter 1
Anyways a couple days I encountered a species of alien that is unfortunately all too common and tend to reproduce like tribbles if not executed immediately. This alien was a member of the NonShouldians. This specimen was difficult to recognize at first as they communicated electronically through our comm. System rather than face to face. My transcript of the communication is as follows:
NS (nonshouldian), ME (miniature engineer)
NS: I came into to your store and asked about burning mp3s to disks and being making a disc for a cd player and two different people told me to buy blank dvds and cds. I’m having someone burn 100 discs to ship out to people to listen to for a course and I’m paying someone to do this for me. (summary)
ME: Maam to have them play in both a cd player and a computer you don’t need to copy it to dvds and send two discs if you burn it as an audio cd then it should play fine in both it just won’t be in mp3 format
NS: see I don’t like that you say should instead of it will work (this is where I became aware of her species as the main characteristic of a Nonshouldian is that they always obsess when you say should)
ME: Maam that’s just how I talk I can’t guarantee what kind of equipment they have or what files you are working with but an audio CD but a standard cd player and a computer should be able to read an audio disc just fine, any computer comes with free music software and it’s the same kind of format if you buy a disc in a store.
NS: but you saying it should work concerns me because I want this to work
ME: fine maam it will work
NS: see now I don’t believe you
Me: if it’s really that big a concern have him burn one and test in both a computer and a cd player and that will tell you there that it works
NS: I came into the store and asked two different people about this you are supposed to know about what you’re selling (I suspect this specimen may have some yrntupsychic blood in her, I recommend a full dissection to examine her and see her genealogy) and asking me to make one and test it is ludicrous
Me: well that would show whether or not it works, but I can’t speak to 100% certainty without knowing all the specifics and even then, but testing it yourself will show you that it works in a cd player and computer.
NS: but that won’t tell me if it will work for my customers because I don’t know what equipment they have. (I fully expect any intelligent being reading to have facepalmed if they palms... or faces for that matter, sadly this species tends to be unintelligent)
The conversation continues at length along these trends for some time, and once again I am lazy so we skip to the end.
NS: So hypothetically if it works like it should it will play in both cd players and computers and car stereos
Me: (desperately) yes.
NS: ok thanks. *end communication*
Per standard procedure after this encounter I engaged the necessary troykian mind cleansing exercise of introducing me forehead to a wall repeatedly, this being a severe case I proceeded to do this 30 times.
Encounter 2
Now this seemed to be the night for remote communication as I received not one, not two but three more communications from another customer. The first call being how much is Microsoft office, the second call is how much is it for us to perform our installation services and one the third call when the individual asked about windows 7 I figured it would be best to just make them tell me what they wanted to do instead of enduring the unoquestian mating dance of 500 steps that she seemed to be engaging in. This revealed that this person was a member of the No8ians wanting nothing to do with the newest federation offerings whether they had tried it or not and are willing to almost double the cost of any purchase just to embrace their beloved septian software. This species has been cropping up a lot lately and while the federation is introducing a big change most of the No8ians have not even tried or seen the new 8 and maybe should consider learning about the technology they use instead of just being stubborn.
Encounter 3
A couple weeks ago when orbiting the planet known as Saturday I ran into a member of the Goldagestians species that had run afoul of two different members of the BStechadvice terrorist squad telling her she should seek from us an a fruit tablet running federation software known as windows 7. Once I informed her that there is no such thing she spoke of fecal matter and ended up purchasing the fruit tablet anyways but still insisted on returning to the terrorists for assistance rather than us who actually would give her proper advice.
Encounter 4
Tonight while visiting the Wednesday Asteroid I encountered a species crossbreed that should be avoided at all costs. This individual was a combination of yrntupsychic and condescendicon genes. There is a name for these particular combination but it’s unpronounceable and translates to orifice through which refuse is expelled. I encountered this being while escorting an inmydayvian to the voice recording hardware. Once I had answered his questions as best I could as I had never used these devices before I began to help another waiting alien who seemed to be a member of the wontreadians as I was able to answer 2 of his questions just by looking at the box. The third question I had to query the foreign database made by the great old one sony and was unfortunately was unable to gleem an answer. Returning defeated I informed him of this and his friend who at first I assumed was also a wontreadian spoke up. He requested if there was a direct contact line to the great old one where instead of a website there might be “an intelligent human being” to speak to. Ignoring the slight because I had failed the enthusiasm training due to lack of effort I replied I could probably get him one from the website to which he informed me that I should call them myself as we were the supplier of this product and then walked away. I decided it would be best to ignore this specimen and finish communicating with the wontreadian, odd though this wontreadian appeared to be a holy man of his species you think if anyone would read it’d be them.
These are the major incidents in my recent mission to mildly go where we have gone before.
Some minor incidents involve many different species unable to pronounce Cyan or Magenta, and a few encounters with aliens who think mentioning other stores and their offers will entice me to perform the ritual of begging through offering free stuff but they were denied, disappointed and dumb.
Thus I sign off this log but most likely will continue this mission for the foreseeable future, whether I like it or not.
previous logs: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=94504
http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=100065
As I continue my mission to explore the same territory day after day encountering strange lifeforms usually less intelligent than a sponge I realize that I have now been on this mission for over 3 years. I once asked a member of the corporate drone species what the ship’s name meant and what he said translated to something about not being allowed to distribute fecal matter. Oh well I don’t really care.
Encounter 1
Anyways a couple days I encountered a species of alien that is unfortunately all too common and tend to reproduce like tribbles if not executed immediately. This alien was a member of the NonShouldians. This specimen was difficult to recognize at first as they communicated electronically through our comm. System rather than face to face. My transcript of the communication is as follows:
NS (nonshouldian), ME (miniature engineer)
NS: I came into to your store and asked about burning mp3s to disks and being making a disc for a cd player and two different people told me to buy blank dvds and cds. I’m having someone burn 100 discs to ship out to people to listen to for a course and I’m paying someone to do this for me. (summary)
ME: Maam to have them play in both a cd player and a computer you don’t need to copy it to dvds and send two discs if you burn it as an audio cd then it should play fine in both it just won’t be in mp3 format
NS: see I don’t like that you say should instead of it will work (this is where I became aware of her species as the main characteristic of a Nonshouldian is that they always obsess when you say should)
ME: Maam that’s just how I talk I can’t guarantee what kind of equipment they have or what files you are working with but an audio CD but a standard cd player and a computer should be able to read an audio disc just fine, any computer comes with free music software and it’s the same kind of format if you buy a disc in a store.
NS: but you saying it should work concerns me because I want this to work
ME: fine maam it will work
NS: see now I don’t believe you
Me: if it’s really that big a concern have him burn one and test in both a computer and a cd player and that will tell you there that it works
NS: I came into the store and asked two different people about this you are supposed to know about what you’re selling (I suspect this specimen may have some yrntupsychic blood in her, I recommend a full dissection to examine her and see her genealogy) and asking me to make one and test it is ludicrous
Me: well that would show whether or not it works, but I can’t speak to 100% certainty without knowing all the specifics and even then, but testing it yourself will show you that it works in a cd player and computer.
NS: but that won’t tell me if it will work for my customers because I don’t know what equipment they have. (I fully expect any intelligent being reading to have facepalmed if they palms... or faces for that matter, sadly this species tends to be unintelligent)
The conversation continues at length along these trends for some time, and once again I am lazy so we skip to the end.
NS: So hypothetically if it works like it should it will play in both cd players and computers and car stereos
Me: (desperately) yes.
NS: ok thanks. *end communication*
Per standard procedure after this encounter I engaged the necessary troykian mind cleansing exercise of introducing me forehead to a wall repeatedly, this being a severe case I proceeded to do this 30 times.
Encounter 2
Now this seemed to be the night for remote communication as I received not one, not two but three more communications from another customer. The first call being how much is Microsoft office, the second call is how much is it for us to perform our installation services and one the third call when the individual asked about windows 7 I figured it would be best to just make them tell me what they wanted to do instead of enduring the unoquestian mating dance of 500 steps that she seemed to be engaging in. This revealed that this person was a member of the No8ians wanting nothing to do with the newest federation offerings whether they had tried it or not and are willing to almost double the cost of any purchase just to embrace their beloved septian software. This species has been cropping up a lot lately and while the federation is introducing a big change most of the No8ians have not even tried or seen the new 8 and maybe should consider learning about the technology they use instead of just being stubborn.
Encounter 3
A couple weeks ago when orbiting the planet known as Saturday I ran into a member of the Goldagestians species that had run afoul of two different members of the BStechadvice terrorist squad telling her she should seek from us an a fruit tablet running federation software known as windows 7. Once I informed her that there is no such thing she spoke of fecal matter and ended up purchasing the fruit tablet anyways but still insisted on returning to the terrorists for assistance rather than us who actually would give her proper advice.
Encounter 4
Tonight while visiting the Wednesday Asteroid I encountered a species crossbreed that should be avoided at all costs. This individual was a combination of yrntupsychic and condescendicon genes. There is a name for these particular combination but it’s unpronounceable and translates to orifice through which refuse is expelled. I encountered this being while escorting an inmydayvian to the voice recording hardware. Once I had answered his questions as best I could as I had never used these devices before I began to help another waiting alien who seemed to be a member of the wontreadians as I was able to answer 2 of his questions just by looking at the box. The third question I had to query the foreign database made by the great old one sony and was unfortunately was unable to gleem an answer. Returning defeated I informed him of this and his friend who at first I assumed was also a wontreadian spoke up. He requested if there was a direct contact line to the great old one where instead of a website there might be “an intelligent human being” to speak to. Ignoring the slight because I had failed the enthusiasm training due to lack of effort I replied I could probably get him one from the website to which he informed me that I should call them myself as we were the supplier of this product and then walked away. I decided it would be best to ignore this specimen and finish communicating with the wontreadian, odd though this wontreadian appeared to be a holy man of his species you think if anyone would read it’d be them.
These are the major incidents in my recent mission to mildly go where we have gone before.
Some minor incidents involve many different species unable to pronounce Cyan or Magenta, and a few encounters with aliens who think mentioning other stores and their offers will entice me to perform the ritual of begging through offering free stuff but they were denied, disappointed and dumb.
Thus I sign off this log but most likely will continue this mission for the foreseeable future, whether I like it or not.
previous logs: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=94504
http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=100065
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