It's too fluffy

[cloudiko]

I am a hostess at a diner that loves to cater to the elderly. Not that I minded that much at first, but then I realized a majority of the sucky customers were the elderly. Impressive, considering most of our clientel are teenagers, families with lots of ill-mannered children, cranky old people, and white trash. Anyway, here is just one instence where I wanted to bang my head into the wall.

An old woman came into the Resturant where I work on Saturday evening, right in the middle of the dinner rush. She was holding one of our take-out bags, and had the trademark angry old woman scowl on her face. That bag, it turns out, had one of our pies in it and I thought, "oh, she must have had a moldy or too-dry pie and wants a refund." (It has happened in the past with other customers, so I was hoping this would just be a routine refund and she would go scowling back into her car and go home) But here is how I was (again) horribly wrong:

COL= cranky old lady
Me = obviously stated, me

Me - "Hi ma'mn, how are you today?"
COL - *glares at me*
Me - (sometimes repetition is necessary...I guess) "What can I do for you today?"
COL - "I don't like this pie" *shoves pie at me, and I place it on the counter*
Me - "Is it stale, ma'mn? What's wrong with your pie?"
COL -"I don't like this pie. It tastes bad. I wanted a lemon meringue, but you said you were out."
Me - "I never personally said we were out, but let me go look for you to see if we have more in the walk in."
COL - "Good."

So I head to the walk in, only to discover we lack the pie she wants. Thankfully one of my coworkers tells me there is one in a box in the bottom of the pie case, so I get it and head back to the front counter. By now, a line has formed behind this woman, and she refuses to budge so the other customers could pay. So now, I have an irate line of customers and an irate old woman.

Me -"So you're in luck. I managed to find you the last lemon meringue."
COL -"Great."
Me - "So that will be x amount of dollars, please."
COL -"What? You're making me pay for a new one?"
Me -"Yes, because we can't trade out pies ma'mn. You took a slice out of the one you have, so you can't return it. Plus, it's company policy."
COL - "What am I supposed to do with this old one?" *angrily gestures at pie on counter*
Me -"You get to keep it."
COL -" Don't you guys have a guarentee on freshness? Something like 'you're supposed to like it or your money back'?"
Me - "No, we don't."

Note - at this point, I want to tell her we have a guarentee that if your pie is moldy/broken up/stale we will trade it out for a new one, free of charge. I also want to ask her why she bought a whole pie she didn't even like. If you don't like the pie you bought, sucks to be you. You get to eat it anyway.

COL - "I want to speak to a manager."
Me - *trying so hard to not to roll my eyes* "Okay, be right back."

So, now I return to the back and tell my manager about my conversation with this old lady who hates her pie.

Manager: "Does she think we're going to exchange her pie or something?"
Me : Probably. That's what it sounds like. She thinks that just because she personally doesn't like it that we will exchange it."
Manager: "Of course she does."
Co-worker also in the back: "Wow, way to reel in the winners, cloudiko."
Me: "You mean, way for (the Resturant) to reel in the sucky customers. I just get to deal with them."

So my manager proceeds to out to the front and verbally duel with this old woman. The only snippet of the conversation I caught (because we were so busy and I had to open the second register to help the real customers who are stuck behind this lady) was classic. This cranky old woman said my favorite line out of all the sucky customers I've ever dealt with so far.
However, to truly enjoy it, here it is in context:

Manager - "What's wrong with your pie, ma'mn?"
COL - "I just don't like it."
Manager - "I've gathered that, but what is it you don't like about it?" (I think he was also hoping for a legitimate excuse such as "it's stale" or "it fell apart when I opened the box" Instead, the following jem
COL - "I don't like this pie. It's too fluffy."
Me - (Now at the salad bar) *hysterical laughing*

It's too fluffy.
Wow, priceless, right?

Anyway, my manager (who is a wuss and yields to every SC who walks through our doors) sorted out the problem with the cranky old woman, she left, and all the staff enjoyed the pie that was "too fluffy" for her liking. All's well that ends well, I guess. I'm glad I got a good laugh out of her abusurdity.

** the pie she returned was a chocolate peanut butter one, topped with whipped cream and the like.

[Reyneth]

What kind was it?

And to me, lemon meringue is one of the "fluffier" pies out there - perhaps topped only by coconut cream (unless you put as much coconut in it as my family does) or a mousse pie! So she was not wanting her so-called "fluffy" pie but wanted one that is legitimately light and airy - therefore fluffy?

[Bright_Star]

um....what does that mean by "too fluffy?" Did she think it was gonna float away or something?...lol.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I want to know what kind it was too. I was thinking lemon meringue from the thread title...I thought "fluffy" was a good thing in baked goods...

[Boozy]

Sounds like you work in a very similar place as the one I did. I learned a lot working there, such as:

Old People + Baked Goods = CS Fodder

Looking forward to more of your stories!

[bigjimaz]

If she thought it was fluffy, she probably shouldn't go to the pie shop here in town. Their lemon meringue pie is 10 inches around, as are all of the pies there, but a full 6 - 7 inches high.

Now I'm hungry for a nice coconut creme pie. The problem with this is they won't open again for 11 hours and I'm stuck with a Wally World peach cobbler, which is akin to peach preserves on a cardboard-like crust.

[SuperB]

I've had people tell me they didn't like the sobe's they just bought, as if I'm going to just let them open and try them all until they decide what they want.
One woman came back with a drink complaining about some ingredient in it.
"Well I guess you might want to read the label of the next one, eh?" as if I were their freakin mother...

[cloudiko]

It was a chocolate peanut butter pie. It comes topped with whipped cream and the like, and isn't really what I consider to be "fluffy." You're all thinking what I kept thinking - isn't a lemon meringue considered to be one of the "fluffiest" pies there is?

[cloudiko]

Oh, and I completely agree with you, bigjimaz - I really want a slice of fluffy cocconut cream pie right now. And it's amazing to think that people really believe they can taste test food and then return it.

Shockingly enough, I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again this week with another baked good of some sort too; except this time I think I'm just going to laugh at them.

[Andara Bledin]

*blinks*

... lemon merengue... fluffy... um, yeah....

Aren't chocolate peanut butter pies kind of thick-ish? I can imagine the whipped cream being fluffy but the pie itself should be nice and solid-like.

Mmm.... now my mouth is watering for a nice and fluffy banana cream pie.... *drool*

^-.-^

[Dark Psion]

Oh, I wondered where that rabbit went?