I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll annoy you.

[ominousoat]

So I just had to speak with what must have been either a very, very out of shape woman on her treadmill, or a 300 lb woman attempting to circumnavigate her house. Either way, yipes. The call went a little something like this:

SC: *huff, puff* I'd like to *huff* make a *puff* payment.

ME: Okay, and how would you like to pay that?

SC: *phew* Uh...card... *puff*

ME: Okay...and what kind of card?

SC: *puff* debit *huff*

ME: *sigh* Oookay, and what kind of debit card is that?

SC: Uh...uh...*huff* uh...Visa.

ME: Alright, can I get the card number and expiration date?

SC: [takes about five minutes to pass this information along, clearly having a very hard time seeing the card...still huffing and puffing.]

ME: Okay, and the three digit security code?

SC: [heavy breathing]

ME: ...

SC: [heavy breathing]

ME: ...

SC: xxx

ME: Okay...[looks at screen, oh crap it's been denied.]...I'm sorry, but it didn't go through, would you like to pay with a check?

SC: [heavy breathing]

ME:...

SC: Yeah...

ME: Okay...and what is the routing number.

SC: [dead silence]

ME: *thinking she just died*

SC: [heavy breathing]

ME: *whew*

SC: [heavy breathing]

ME: *wondering if she's getting a check...or what...we're hitting the 45 second mark since the last reply*

SC: Its...[pause to get her breath]

ME: Yes...

SC: xxxxxxxxx

ME: Whew...

[she gives all of the information, declined! AUGH!]

SC: Uh...uh...*pant*

ME: Okay, I would suggest trying again tommorrow...

SC: Uh...uh...uh huh...*huff*

ME: Okay? Anything else I can help you with?

SC: So you think I should *puff* call again tommorrow?

ME: Yeeees...

SC: Uh...okay

ME: Thank you for calling...

SC: [heavy breathing]

[Giggle Goose]

Wow. So out of shape you can't even reach for your checkbook? Dang.

Or maybe she got really stressed out and nervous talking to a stranger and starting reacting physiologically.

[ChanceNCinny]

Just to point out an alternative.

During the allergy season or when I have a cold I sound out of breath on the phone if I am at all stressed or moving around during the call; because allergies/cold+asthma=difficultly breathing. Even if it might not seem that way when you talk to me in person it can come across that way on the phone. It also varies depending on the phone and how I am holding it.

[CrazedClerk]

she couldn't stop whatever the hell she was doing for a few minutes??

[cloudiko]

working out?

Good question, was she on the treadmill or something at the same time she was talking to you? I love when that happens - you answer the phone and all you get is heavy breathing. I'm glad to hear she didn't die or have a heart attack while on the phone with you.

[CanadaGirl]

All the heavy breathing is making me snicker. :P

[Will-Mun]

-Insert really naughty and nasty reason she was huffing and puffing and having a hard time moving around to get and see her things.-

[Boozy]

It took SEVEN posts for someone to imply that something untowards was happening on the other end. That's about six too many, frankly.

Shame on us. Shame on us all.

[Ringtail Z28]

That woman sounds like any one of my current coworkers. I swear a lot of those people sound like they're gonna drop dead from trying to do the strenuous activities that take place in a government office. Like standing up, walking (or waddling), using the restroom, and breathing. Now I plan on lifting weights after I get home, hopefully 'til my arms rip open after thinking about my coworkers.

[bigjimaz]

maybe she got really stressed out and nervous talking to a stranger and starting reacting physiologically.

Maybe her boyfriend Bubba had just gotten out of jail and was "renewing their love affair."

Nevermind

[Best Made Tacos]

I know I used to get a lot of people who would huff angrily at me down the phone if they didn't like what they heard. I thought it was incredibly rude, and fairly juvenile, really. I can understand being frustrated with some of the call centre rigmarole, but sighing loudly and often was their way of trying to pressure staff, IMO.
Mind you, it works the other way at times - I once got a customer complaining about the 'culture' of my employer (a large banking organisation) and throwing around the vaguest possible descriptions, about how angry he was with "the ethics" and "commercialisation" of the bank and how we were all 'faceless yes men', etc. I knew there was no way I could resolve this guys problem, and that he was going to expect me to, anyway. Yes, a lowly phone clerk was going to change the banks entire commercial and customer service attitude, just because one customer disliked it! I thought I was being tactful, but I must have let out my breath rather more quickly and forcefully than I realised, because he stopped mid rant and snapped "well, EXCYYYUUUSE ME for boring you!".
Clearly, I wasn't as enraptured by his endless litany as I should have been Still, it would have been funny if he had complained about me to my manager;

"What exactly did she say that upset you, sir?"
"She sighed at me! In a very offensive way!"

[Andara Bledin]

It took SEVEN posts for someone to imply that something untowards was happening on the other end. That's about six too many, frankly.

Shame on us. Shame on us all.

I assure you, that was one of my first thoughts while reading the OP.

^-.-^

[blas]

When my mother gets angry beyond angry beyond angry, her teeth are clenched shut and she will breathe like a kangaroo in labor............or whatever, she will LITERALLY huff and puff. It was the most embarrassing thing as a child......I'm convinced that it wasn't me being in the embarrassment in public, it was my mother with how loud she was huffing and puffing.

What's even better? The more angry she gets, the s l o w e r she'll articulate words. I mean, I always hope and pray to God that she stays sane while we go out in public, because my mother turns into this huge embarrassing freak when she gets angry.

Back on topic, she was probaby doing her daily regimen on the treadmill, and it was too hard after 3 steps.

[Becks]

It took SEVEN posts for someone to imply that something untowards was happening on the other end. That's about six too many, frankly.

Shame on us. Shame on us all.

Sorry, I took a few days off from the site.

[ominousoat]

-Insert really naughty and nasty reason she was huffing and puffing and having a hard time moving around to get and see her things.-

Well...I don't mean to brag, but I do have a pretty nice voice over the phone, and we *are* cheaper than a 900 number...