The Tow Files: Halloweenies

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"You just gotta have the right touch. Nobody can start this car but me."

That sounds like something my Mom would tell our old mechanic when it came to her 1973 El Camino Super Sport.

Every so often, ol' Elrod would decide he was going to act pissy - therefore requiring my Mom to spend more money to have him worked on. Every time she got him straightened out, something else would happen - and more often than not, it involved something or other underneath the hood.

We'd call our former mechanic over (Big James did house calls) and he'd come over, pop his key in the ignition (he to this day still carries a spare set of keys for our vehicle and our house) and it'd start right up pretty as you please for him.

And Mom vowing up and down that Elrod didn't want to start earlier. . . . if I were home and would see that, I'd bust a gut laughing at her. It's as if that car knew that she was getting tired of putting him either in the shop or having James come over - and then. . . .

Sure Mom, the car hates you . . . .

[SilverOrb]

Personally I like the whole dial-a-driver thing that popped up out of the woodwork a while back - you phone up the company, they drop off a driver who will drive you/the car home from point A, with the other car following so that they can pick up the driver at point B.

I work for a taxi company and we have a program for that. Expensive, but cheaper than-
* a DUI
* a towed car fee
* an insurance deductible if your car is vandalized overnight wherever you left it
* paying for a cab to go looking for your car

[wolfie]

You've just described what my friends and I do. we'll still go out to pubs and whatnot, but otherwise we'll stay at home and get drunk. Usually it ends with one very gropey boyfriend...

So long as he isn't a Wombat (as in, "eats roots and leaves").

[Jester]

The punch line is "eats bushes and leaves."

[mathnerd]

Though you could go with the same definition of "root" as in "Roto-Rooter", and a dirty joke become truly sick.

[dalesys]

Though you could go with the same definition of "root" as in "Roto-Rooter", and a dirty joke become truly sick.

Or Wonder Warthog vs. Lois Lamebrain...

"Look! It's all little and curly, like a piggy's tail!"

Wilt.

"I can still use my ...."

[Chromatix]

I thought it was "eats shoots and leaves".

[dawnfire]

I thought it was "eats shoots and leaves".

I thought it was "eats r**ts shoots and leaves

[Ironclad Alibi]

I thought it was "eats shoots and leaves".

That's a panda.

[Argabarga]

Or a spree killer in a cafeteria

[gerund]

I thought it was "eats r**ts shoots and leaves

In Australia "roots" means to have sexual congress (in the most basic form). (Also see in that list "root rat" and "Wombat").

So the original joke was:-

Why do you call him "Wombat"?
"Wombat"? We call him that cause he eats roots shoots and leaves.

Lynne Truss did a bowlderised version of this for a book title. I was not impressed as I am not the sort of person who eviscerates jokes because someone might be embarrassed.

[Shalom]

For old ones, in particular, you could specify a 1-2 month (or whatever) date range, and adjust it up or down, as needed, in subsequent searches.

Off topic, how do you do this? I've checked the Advanced Search link, and it only gives me the options Any Date, Yesterday, A week ago, A month ago, and so on up to A Year Ago, then you can check And Newer or And Older. I don't see how you can search a specific date range.

(Of course you can always google, e.g. "argabarga 2009 site:customerssuck.com", but that also gets you all sorts of posts from unrelated people, such as myself, who happened to have joined the site in 2009...)

[mhkohne]

Off topic, how do you do this? I've checked the Advanced Search link, and it only gives me the options Any Date, Yesterday, A week ago, A month ago, and so on up to A Year Ago, then you can check And Newer or And Older. I don't see how you can search a specific date range.

(Of course you can always google, e.g. "argabarga 2009 site:customerssuck.com", but that also gets you all sorts of posts from unrelated people, such as myself, who happened to have joined the site in 2009...)

To see one user's posts:

Click on the person's name, click 'View public profile' from the dropdown
Click the statistics tab
click 'view all theads started by...'

[AccountingDrone]

Sure Mom, the car hates you . . . .

My mustang absolutely hated my dad's mechanic. Pinned him against the garage door a few times until he got one of the other mechanics to work on it. Anybody else in the garage was no problem, but Zane, it hated him.

Mustang loved me, I could get it to run when nobody else could get it started [it hated cold wet days with a passion. Terrible for a car in Rochester NY] I was sad when a truck totalled it out in a parking lot