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  • #1

    Dumber than a sack of bricks

    On the phone...

    The view is bigger; the room is not

    SC: "What do you have with two beds on XX date?"
    Me: "I have a courtyard view double queen room for $YYY and a water view one for $ZZZ."
    SC: "So, the water view one is bigger?"
    Me: "No, the rooms are the same size, it's just that one faces the water and one faces the courtyard and parking lot.
    SC: "Oh, okay. Well, I have AAA and AARP."
    Me: "Great! That would bring it to $XXX for the courtyard view and $YYY for the water view."
    SC: "And the water view one is the bigger room, right?"
    Me: "...no, the water view just has a view of the water, and the courtyard faces the courtyard and parking lot."
    SC: "Oh! So it's just the views that are different!"
    Me: "Yes, that is correct."
    *Asks a few more questions*
    SC: "So let me ask you, what's the difference between the courtyard and water views again? The water views are bigger, right?"
    Me:

    Thank you for calling...

    SC: "What is your toll-free number?"
    Me: "It is 1-800-XXX-XXXX."
    SC: "Is that the number I called?"

    ...no, sorry, it looks like you actually called us on our 900 line. This call will be $2.50 per minute. Please enter your credit card number followed by the "#" sign.

    Nah, we're just messing with you

    SC: "Are you guys open?"

    Nope. We're answering the phones just to tease you. Sorry (not really).
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
    SC: "Are you guys open?"

    Nope. We're answering the phones just to tease you. Sorry (not really).
    I have a coworker who answers the phone when we're not open. It drives me nuts because it's not like she's actually helping them, I dunno, renew books or place a hold--she answers and tells them we're not open.

    So maybe that explains the folks who do ask if we're open when they call . . . .

    No excuse for your dumb customers, though!

    Comment

    • #3
      After the third query maybe you should've said, "No, the water view one is actually only half the size of the other one" and let them sign up for the room with the view of the parking lot.

      Comment

      • #4
        Cam - Back at the pizza joint, we HAD TO answer the phones after we shut down for ther night and were scrambling to get the place clean so we could GTFO. Naturally, little things like that were no excuse not to catch a call by the second ring. We simply answered, "Thank you for calling DaddyJim's on ___, I'm sorry, but we're closed." This failed to prevent a certain percentage of callers from immediately telling us what they wanted on their pizza. We just assumed that these were the same people who responded to "May I please have your phone number?" with "Large Works, no onion, and an order or cheeseticks..." >_< Our system there literally would not let us do anything on an order until we got a number.
        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

        Comment

        • #5
          So much selective hearing! So much fail!

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth camjuniper View Post
            I have a coworker who answers the phone when we're not open. It drives me nuts because it's not like she's actually helping them, I dunno, renew books or place a hold--she answers and tells them we're not open.
            Since's we're a 24/7 operation, if we answer the phones, that would imply that we're open.
            Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
              SC: "So let me ask you, what's the difference between the courtyard and water views again? The water views are bigger, right?"
              "What did I tell you the first three times you asked that question?! Why do you ask questions when you refuse to listen to the answers?"

              I hate willful stupidity.
              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
              My LiveJournal
              A page we can all agree with!

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth XCashier View Post
                "What did I tell you the first three times you asked that question?! Why do you ask questions when you refuse to listen to the answers?"
                "Are we there yet?"

                There's going to be a beating tonight...
                [/Cos]
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
                  On the phone...

                  The view is bigger; the room is not

                  SC: "What do you have with two beds on XX date?"
                  Me: "I have a courtyard view double queen room for $YYY and a water view one for $ZZZ."
                  SC: "So, the water view one is bigger?"
                  Me: "No, the rooms are the same size, it's just that one faces the water and one faces the courtyard and parking lot.
                  SC: "Oh, okay. Well, I have AAA and AARP."
                  Me: "Great! That would bring it to $XXX for the courtyard view and $YYY for the water view."
                  SC: "And the water view one is the bigger room, right?"
                  Me: "...no, the water view just has a view of the water, and the courtyard faces the courtyard and parking lot."
                  SC: "Oh! So it's just the views that are different!"
                  Me: "Yes, that is correct."
                  *Asks a few more questions*
                  SC: "So let me ask you, what's the difference between the courtyard and water views again? The water views are bigger, right?"
                  Me:
                  I pretty much had this conversation with a drunk man over the phone the other day, only the subject was our rooms that have shared bathrooms. He was just incredulous that such a thing existed, and kept repeating the details back to me wrong until I wanted to bang the receiver down on the phone base repeatedly and shout "BAD! NO TREAT FOR YOU!"

                  Most of my funniest and most awful guest stories involve Selective Hearing/Listening Syndrome.
                  "Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett
                  Emissary of Minong - my blog and its Facebook page

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I think your title description is extremely mean. The sack of bricks is intelligent and sensible Do not rank it with the SCs
                    The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Dentarthurdent View Post
                      I pretty much had this conversation with a drunk man over the phone the other day, only the subject was our rooms that have shared bathrooms. He was just incredulous that such a thing existed, and kept repeating the details back to me wrong until I wanted to bang the receiver down on the phone base repeatedly and shout "BAD! NO TREAT FOR YOU!"

                      Most of my funniest and most awful guest stories involve Selective Hearing/Listening Syndrome.
                      I have never stayed anywhere [other than a suite] that shared a bathroom in the US, just in Europe - that is probably why. Americans are just used to the whole Holiday Inn franchise thing.
                      EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Many places still only have the same phone number for staff and customer calls: if a staff member or their family need to contact the business for some reason, they have no option but to call the customer number.

                        For this reason, some places do answer the phone when they're closed.

                        It was much more common twenty years ago - even ten. Even I still have the habit of asking if a place is open, if they might not be.
                        Seshat's self-help guide:
                        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Typical scene at The Bar with my coworker, McGruffy:

                          MCGRUFFY: "Hi there! How are you doing today?"
                          CUSTOMER: "Two Budweisers."
                          MCGRUFFY: "I said, how are you doing today?"

                          McGruffy is hilarious with people who don't listen.

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is                           Still A Customer."

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