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We all know how customer standard time (tm) works, what passes as seconds for us takes hours for them?
It's like they're the living the real-life example of Einstein's famous thought experiment about what happens when you accelerate yourself to near-light speed, namely, you get lots of poorly-conceived story premises for dozens and dozens and dozens of sci-fi tv shows to latch onto.
Well, I found a guy so time-dilated this weekend that even the laziest hack writer would have had his willing suspension of disbelief ray-gunned into oblivion had it come to him in a script form.
This gentleman insisted he had only been illegally parked for TWO SECONDS! And it wasn't hyperbole, he MEANT it sincerely!
I gave him a chance to , ahem, revise his estimate given the fact it takes longer than two seconds to even drive into the lot as deep as he was in it. (Past two signs that say "permit parking only" and he had none) I mean, I would have SEEN him right in front of me as I pulled in, getting out of his car and would have hooked it with him about 4 steps beyond it.... in fact, it takes longer than two seconds to even get the claws around the tires.... as it was, nobody was anywhere near it.
Nope, he was only there for TWO SECONDS!
I pointed out the impossibility of that, in light of the fact that, well, I've been here about 5 minutes and this is the first I saw of him.
He persisted, It was JUST TWO SECONDS!
That's when I think I heard a tiny little *twang* in my head as what must have been my last good nerve snapped like an overtight "G" string on a guitar...
Sir, it was NOT two seconds. *Places hand on car hood* This engine is ice-cold, DO NOT LIE to me! I DON'T APPRECIATE IT!!!
Wow, Argabarga rage, never knew I had that in me. Always suspected it, but, wow.....
Needless to say, the argument was over at that point.
It's like they're the living the real-life example of Einstein's famous thought experiment about what happens when you accelerate yourself to near-light speed, namely, you get lots of poorly-conceived story premises for dozens and dozens and dozens of sci-fi tv shows to latch onto.
Well, I found a guy so time-dilated this weekend that even the laziest hack writer would have had his willing suspension of disbelief ray-gunned into oblivion had it come to him in a script form.
This gentleman insisted he had only been illegally parked for TWO SECONDS! And it wasn't hyperbole, he MEANT it sincerely!
I gave him a chance to , ahem, revise his estimate given the fact it takes longer than two seconds to even drive into the lot as deep as he was in it. (Past two signs that say "permit parking only" and he had none) I mean, I would have SEEN him right in front of me as I pulled in, getting out of his car and would have hooked it with him about 4 steps beyond it.... in fact, it takes longer than two seconds to even get the claws around the tires.... as it was, nobody was anywhere near it.
Nope, he was only there for TWO SECONDS!
I pointed out the impossibility of that, in light of the fact that, well, I've been here about 5 minutes and this is the first I saw of him.
He persisted, It was JUST TWO SECONDS!
That's when I think I heard a tiny little *twang* in my head as what must have been my last good nerve snapped like an overtight "G" string on a guitar...
Sir, it was NOT two seconds. *Places hand on car hood* This engine is ice-cold, DO NOT LIE to me! I DON'T APPRECIATE IT!!!
Wow, Argabarga rage, never knew I had that in me. Always suspected it, but, wow.....
Needless to say, the argument was over at that point.
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